Emotional baggage is those unresolved experiences, feelings, and disappointments you have been carrying. While you may think that if you don’t think about them for some time, they may go away. Spoiler alert! They don’t. You may think that you have forgotten them but these emotions have a tendency to come around and manifest themselves in different ways and affect various aspects of your life. These various aspects include your social relationships, your ability to handle stressful situations, the way you perceive yourself, and your overall physical well-being.
This emotional baggage prevents us from reaching our full potential. It is very important to let those feelings go away completely so that they stop hindering your growth. This not only enhances our ability to adapt and thrive but also gives us freedom and inner peace, which is very important for our mental well-being. It helps us live fully in the present and focus and plan for the future rather than being weighed down by the past and ruminating on things we cannot change. While this process takes time and patience, there are a few things one can practice to unpack this suitcase of emotions.
Acknowledgement
The first step towards any major change is accepting that the change is required. Emotional baggage is something that is tucked away in the back of your mind but can be reflected in your relationships, your perception of yourself, and the way you react to stressful situations. When you see any such signs, try to recognize the pattern and connect it to your past experiences and feelings.
You may be able to recognize these patterns by self-reflection. Self-reflection includes noting your emotions whenever you notice something off about them and then revisiting them from time to time. This will give you an insight into your emotions and reactions, once you see the pattern, you will be able to work on it. Another effective way to do so is through mindfulness. Mindfulness is being in the here and now and focusing on things that are going on currently. It helps to recognize these emotions as soon as they arise.
Identify the Source
Now that you have acknowledged your emotional baggage, you might want to do something about it. The first step to do so is to find out where it is all coming from and how you can modify your perception of it. There could be some past trauma or experience that might be holding you back. When you trace these emotions and feelings back to their source, it can help you understand the reason and intensity of them. The most effective way to identify the source of your emotions is therapy.
Therapy and counselling can provide you with a guided approach to problem-solving. The identification of the events responsible for your current emotional state becomes easier with therapy. Therapists then can help you to address and unpack these emotions and lead a functional life. Another method is to visualize the situations that evoke unpleasant emotions. While this method is also most effective with a therapist, it can also be practised alone. If you are doing it on your own, make sure that the environment is safe and non-judgemental.
Acceptance
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that everyone is entitled to basic human emotions and you are allowed to feel everything. It could be dysfunctional and maladaptive, but that is what we are trying to work on. Accept your feelings and emotions in a non-judgemental way. Practice self-compassion and try to be kind. Be vulnerable with yourself. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather a pathway to getting better. Try to restructure the events that bring out negative emotions. Right now you are focusing on the negatives of the event, but there could be another side to this coin. For example, if a long-term relationship of yours ended, focusing on negatives might cause you to hurt. Think of all the things that you learned from this relationship and all the memories you made with this person.
Read More: 14 Signs You Are in a Healthy Relationship, According to Psychologists
Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Functionally dealing with your emotions becomes very important here. Not doing so might push you back into the same rabbit hole that you have been trying so hard to come out of. Take help from some of your old coping mechanisms and develop some new ones. Try to meditate, talk to a trusted person, journal, or simply make more time for your hobbies. Engaging in physical activity is a very effective coping mechanism. It boosts your energy and balances your hormones. Moreover, it also provides a very constructive outlet for releasing all your negative emotions. Another effective coping mechanism could be through art. Sometimes you haven’t got the words but they can be expressed via some other outlet. It could be drawing, painting, writing, music, etc.
Read More: Exercise and Mental Health
Focus on Holistic Growth
When you are in the process of letting the negative emotions go and adopting functional habits, self-care is essential. While self-care involves short-term pleasure like treating yourself to a pizza, it also involves taking steps that will help you in the long run. This may include setting healthy boundaries, cultivating good relationships, enhancing your skills, and more. Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. This will help you to shift your attention to the present and focus on the future. Make a plan of what you want to achieve and take the required steps to move towards it and ultimately achieve it.
Read More: How To Set Your Goal, Know About the Goal Setting Theory
Celebrate Small Victories
Releasing emotional baggage is not an easy process. It takes acknowledgement, time, and commitment. So when you feel that you have achieved the realistic and achievable goal or goals you set previously, celebrate this victory. It could include buying yourself something, relaxing for a day, or watching a movie. Recognizing your efforts and progress can boost your motivation and confidence in yourself. You will strive to be better when you employ this method.
Stick to the Process
As mentioned previously, it is a lengthy process that requires your full commitment. Do not give up on it. It might not be a smooth ride and you might face some setbacks, but you must get back up with confidence and continue on this journey of betterment. Stay engaged and practice these techniques and sooner or later you will observe a change in yourself and the way you deal with your emotions.
In conclusion, while releasing emotional baggage might not be a linear journey, it most definitely is an effective one. Be patient, and kind, and practice forgiveness, for yourself as well as for others. By embedding all these practices in your life, you are setting yourself up with a more peaceful and functional life. Proper regulation of your emotions will help you to deal with even the most stressful situations with a calm and rational mind. Remember that this is not just about reaching a destination where you no longer feel burdened by your emotions, but rather learning and growing in the journey and allowing yourself to grow.
References +
- Bell, G. (2023, February 18). Greg Bell. Greg Bell. https://www.gregbellspeaks.com/blog/how-to-shed-emotional-baggage-and-reach-your-full-potential
- Ishler, J. (2021, September 16). Are You Carrying “Emotional Baggage” Here’s How to Break Free. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/how-to-release-emotional-baggage-and-the-tension-that-goes-with-it
- Kalra, P. (2023, December 8). 13 tips to release emotional baggage and feel lighter in your heart and mind. Healthshots; Healthshots. https://www.healthshots.com/how-to/tips-to-release-emotional-baggage/
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