Why Honesty is the best Policy in Relationship? 

Do you always share the truth with your loved ones? Do you lie to avoid conflicts? Is being honest means sharing everything with your close one? Are you being authentic in your relationship? How honesty impact your relationship? Does sharing your vulnerabilities included in the dynamic of being honest? Which takes a relationship to a longer run? 

In this article let’s explore, what honesty truly means in a relationship, why does it  play a crucial role, how does lay foundation to a strong relationship, what are the  factors that affect the honesty, and the ways to maintain honesty in your relationship. 

Sharing the uncomfortable truths – Being true 

While thinking about honesty the first and foremost thing that come to our mind is deception free interaction. But, honesty in general, includes expressing true emotions and feeling without any filter, sharing truth even your vulnerabilities without any hesitation, conveying the immediate experiences. (APA, 2018). Honesty includes sharing the uncomfortable truths instead of comfortable lies. 

There is a quote, “Honesty has a power that very few people can handle” by Steven Aitchison. In a similar way, honesty cannot be practiced with anyone, it needs its own space. Sharing honestly what works and doesn’t work in a relationship helps to lay a strong foundation for bonding. Being authentic (representing the actual self) in a relationship ensures that the individual is feeling more comfortable and that shares the sense of responsibility to the partner. Research shows that being honest is directly linked to personal and relationship satisfaction.

Read More: Beyond Clichés: Real Insights for Building Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships

The Real Benefits of being Honest in a Relationship 

• Increases intimacy: When both the people in a relationship is open and honest, it deepens their emotional connect and thereby increases intimacy making the relationship more genuine and  secure. 
• Mutual Benefit: Honesty isn’t a unilateral one. It mutually benefits both the people in relationship. It provides a sense of satisfaction in a relationship. It increases the level of well-being of an individual.  
• Prevent conflicts: Being honest about your vulnerabilities (sharing your emotions including weakness) with your partner decreases the potential risk of misunderstandings that occur due to your insecurities and also help your partner avoid the words that may trigger your  unhealed wound thereby preventing conflicts. 
• Prevents Ghosting: Honesty prevents ghosting (an individual will withdraw from commitment and disappear from all means of communication in a relationship). Ghosting happens when an individual has low level self-esteem, unresolved conflicts and insecurities. It also happens when an individual feels that their partner deserve a better partner. 
• Lively relationship: Honest communication keeps the relationship lively by sharing their emotions and increases interest in the partner. It gives the sense of loyalty. 
• Takes less effort: Being honest takes less effort than a lie. Because lie need to be maintained. You need to remember the answer you fabricated for each of the questions.

Why Honesty is important? 

• Builds trust: Honesty gives the faith that the individual is being real and builds trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. When trust is lost the relationship cannot go hassle-free like before. When trust is broken it sows the suspicion and that paves way for unnecessary disputes.  

• Sharing Needs: It helps in expressing your needs to the partner, especially moral support and also in  times of emotional inadequacies. 
• Promote communication: Honesty helps in open and expressive communication. That makes the partner to  express their feelings, needs and concerns without any fear of judgment. It creates a  safe room for the partner to share their passion, interest and dream. 
• Reduce misunderstandings: Being honest reduces the chance for being misunderstood as everything is shared and decreases the space for suspicion and doubts. Honesty helps to work together and  learn from each other. 
• Strengthens the relationship: Rather than hiding an issue or obstacle in life, sharing it honestly with the partner helps couples grow together and builds a more resilient bond. 
• What dishonesty really feel like?: Dishonesty in a relationship means lying or concealing the truth about something that  matters the most. Though couple do it for short span of happiness, it affects the  longevity of the relationship. 

Sometimes couple often choose to lie to avoid conflicts for the sake of temporary happiness. But in reality, it diminishes the trust. The individual may do this to prevent  the partner from getting hurt or simply to prevent argument. However, it is not how it works. The reality hits when the partner get to know the truth. It creates a collapse in the relationship. Even though it feels easier to hide truth, honesty is better in keeping  a strong and healthy relationship. When the trust is broken, the real problems come  into play. 

Dishonesty is a threat to interpersonal trust and may prevent the resolution of conflicts. It’s like an apple that’s good on outside but rotting from the inside out. We can understand only if we look deep into it. Sometimes dishonesty leaves a everlasting wound between the couples. It creates a feeling of betrayal.

Cognitive psychologists says that it takes more time for the brain to prepare a deceptive answer than an honest reply. When people tell lie, several regions of the brain come into action. On the whole, truth is the first one that comes to our mind for  a person in most situations. 

The Impact of Dishonesty on relationship 

• Loss of trust: Once trust is lost, it cannot be retained. Trust is the basic foundation for relationships. Rome is not built over a night. Likewise, it takes huge amount of time to build trust on an individual. But it takes only few seconds to break it. 
• Lack of growth and progress: Dishonesty makes complications in solving problems among the couples. As it limits the productive conversations and face challenges and grow as couples. 
• Impacts self-respect and integrity: In relationship, if dishonesty is present, both people will lose sight of their values. The person who is lying may feel guilty and conflicted internally, affecting their self-esteem. The person being lied to may lose a sense of respect to the partner. 
• Creates distance: Dishonesty creates emotional distance between couple. If one feels the need to hide  things or fabricate stories, they may begin to withdraw emotionally, which may make  the other person feel ignored or disconnected. This may result in less satisfying relationship. 
• Unresolved issues: Dishonesty can be a way to avoid dealing with difficult conversations. By not being truthful one partner may avoid addressing the issues that need to be resolved. In future, these unresolved issues may build up resentment and breakdown in communication. 

Before breaching honesty, you need to know this 

Truth Bias: The truth bias is a psychological phenomenon that says the human has a default tendency to believe, trust and perceive others as honest. This is more common among the people we trust. It is not only for partners. It suits to any trustworthy relationship. 

Veracity effect: It deals with the predisposition for people’s accuracy in detecting truth to be significantly higher than it is for detecting the truth. 

William Shakespeare quoted, “No legacy is so rich as honesty”. The material  possessions or wealth may fade overtime so that the best gift you can give to your  partner is honesty and authenticity.  

No legacy is so rich as honesty