Why do Some People Lack Empathy?: Psychologist Speaks

A component that every psychologist is taught about, something that we are asked to improve and build over time. Remember the example of stepping into other’s shoes and thinking? Empathy. It is being able to understand other’s emotions and what they feel. Being good at listening, helping those in distress, understanding their present feelings and knowing how to help them are all signs of empathy. To better understand this concept, let us take an example of a good and a bad therapist: But does the bad therapist lack empathy? Can they build it back?

Statistics

Now, let us try to understand this phenomenon with some numbers. Empathy levels in the United States dropped by 14% during Covid 19, in the millennial population. It is also important to note lack of empathy is significant in disorders like antisocial personality and psychopathy; a 2002 study revealed that 47% of the males and 21% of the females in prison suffered from antisocial personality disorders. Similar higher statistics have been found while diagnosing offenders who fell under the criteria of psychopathic disorder. Studies have shown empathy levels in India to be lower than those of the population residing outside India, and women are more compared to men.

So What is Lack of Empathy?

They are the emotional robots of the human race. Imagine someone is hearing your words, but not understanding anything or offering impractical solutions. Have you heard those Instagram rants of girlfriends crying about how their boyfriends offer them solutions, and cater to logic when they are crying? That is a lack of empathy.

Lack of empathy exists on a spectrum, ranging from mild cluelessness to complete emotional disconnect. Some can understand emotions but sometimes miss the mark, some acknowledge emotions but don’t dig deeper, and some are emotionally tone-deaf. The prefrontal cortex is involved in processing emotions and empathy. Damage or underdevelopment in this region, like in people with psychopathy or certain brain injuries, can result in reduced empathy. Reduced activity in mirror neuron systems, lower levels of oxytocin, and higher levels of testosterone are all associated with the same.

Read More: Emotional Bankruptcy: Depleted Emotions, Indicators & Prevention

According to Iqra Azim, Psychologist & Psychotherapist, and Life Coach, empathy is the ability to understand and share the emotions of others, playing a crucial role in human relationships and social harmony. However, not everyone experiences empathy to the same degree, and some may display low levels of empathy, which can affect their interpersonal relationships and social functioning. A lack of empathy can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and even manipulative behaviours, depending on the underlying causes.

Several factors contribute to the development of low empathy. Biological factors, such as neurological conditions or genetic predispositions, can impair a person’s ability to empathize. Childhood experiences, especially those involving emotional neglect or trauma, can also hinder the development of empathy. Additionally, environmental influences, such as growing up in a highly competitive or individualistic culture, may desensitize a person to others’ emotions. Finally, emotional and psychological difficulties, such as trauma or emotional regulation issues, can prevent someone from connecting deeply with others’ feelings.

Who are they?

People who lack empathy can come from various walks of life, often shaped by personal traits or circumstances. For example, Narcissists, Professionals that involve exposed to high levels of trauma can lead to them becoming unempathetic, individuals on the Autism spectrum (sometimes), psychopaths, etc. are not empathetic. You must have come across people who have made jokes about others’ misery or said inappropriate things, etc. They all are on this spectrum of lacking empathy.

For instance, Ted Bundy is one notorious serial killer with a notoriously low level of empathy. Confessing to killing over thirty women in the 1970s, Bundy had all the hallmarks of a psychopath, including charm, deceit, and an absolute lack of empathy or regret for his deeds.

Consequences

Significant interpersonal problems can arise from a lack of empathy in communal situations as well as intimate connections. For example, in a marriage, it can cause bitterness, loneliness, and eventually the breakdown of the partnership if one partner consistently ignores the other’s feelings.
The effects of a lack of empathy at work can manifest as ineffective leadership and low staff morale. A toxic work environment can be fostered by leaders who do not take into account the emotional requirements of their team.

A pervasive lack of empathy can lead to social disintegration and the marginalisation of weaker groups in society. For example, policies and attitudes can become harsh and exclusionary when communities do not show empathy for refugees or the impoverished. People become more alienated and divided as a result of this ignorance, feeling oppressed or alienated.

According to Psychologist Farhana Nazneen, Being a psychologist or a counsellor is expected to develop the art of active listening and empathy towards a client. The client feels valued and supported by someone who actively prioritises the client’s emotions. There are several strategies that any counsellor or psychologist applies when dealing with his/her clients. Apart from putting oneself in others’ shoes, a person can start acknowledging the other person’s emotions and try considering the perspectives of that person. Apart from this, nonverbal communication is an important factor while making communication, body language, eye-to-eye contact, and hand gestures are very important which makes the other person feel more comfortable when sharing his/her emotions. Lastly, tone of voice also matters a lot.

Can it be developed over time?

Yes! It is the main thing taught in psychology repeatedly. It can be developed and improved over time, even for individuals who initially struggle with it. Effort, experience and learning are the most important components that must be present throughout while trying to be empathetic.

• Roleplaying: When people act out scenarios where they are supposed to play the role of a parent, refugee, or someone who has suffered a lot would help them build some empathy. Restorative justice programs focus on this by letting the offender and survivor talk for the offender to understand and empathize.
• Cognitive training: By practising perspective-taking, which involves consciously trying to understand someone else’s emotions or viewpoint. For example, CBT requires changing one’s negative thought patterns and as a part of that, it forces them to challenge their assumptions and step into the shoes of others.
• Using artistic means: Keeping a journal to write down thoughts about how the other person might have felt, creative activities like painting, writing, or composing music that expresses others’ stories, reading first-person accounts or memoirs that focus on people’s real-life struggles.
• Volunteer: Volunteering in roles that require emotional labour, such as crisis hotlines, peer support groups, or hospices, naturally forces individuals to practice empathy. Building empathy takes continual work and reflection, as psychology research and practice continue to highlight. In the end, this leads to better connections and a more compassionate society.