What Strategies can Employees Use to Cope with Difficult Coworkers? 
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What Strategies can Employees Use to Cope with Difficult Coworkers? 

what-strategies-can-employees-use-to-cope-with-difficult-coworkers

In any workplace, encountering difficult coworkers is almost inevitable. Whether it’s a bully, a gossip, or someone whose stress spills into their interactions, these behaviours can have a damaging effect on both the work environment and employee well-being. Navigating such dynamics requires not just patience but also effective strategies for maintaining professionalism, fostering constructive communication, and ensuring one’s mental health. By understanding the root causes behind challenging behaviours and employing proven conflict-resolution techniques, employees can manage tense situations more effectively 

Understanding Difficult Coworkers

Dealing with difficult coworkers can be very challenging. These individuals often exhibit behaviour that creates a toxic work environment and also impacts job satisfaction. Identifying common types of difficult coworkers is important to effectively manage our interactions with them. 

One of the most common types of difficult coworkers to deal with is the bully. Three things typically characterise a bully: power, repetition, and intent. There is a strong intent to cause pain to other people either through physical harm or through verbal or emotional harm, and people who are a bully usually come from a perceived higher social status or position of power, such as people who perceive themselves to be popular, bigger, or stronger.

A bully usually uses intimidation tactics, threats or aggression to control others. This creates a very hostile work environment, and can also have serious psychological and emotional consequences for the victims. In some cases, it can also lead to depression and anxiety as well as self-harming behaviours. 

Another type of difficult coworker to deal with is gossip. Gossip is when you take a rumour, most often an unconfirmed piece of information passed around. People also tend to engage in back staffing, which can undermine the trust among colleagues. Gossip has a detrimental effect on the work environment as well as on the victim. This frequently results in disagreement, a drop in work output, and an unpleasant and toxic work atmosphere. Even though these rumours and gossip may seem harmless it can be very detrimental to the health of the victim. 

Understanding the Causes of Difficult Coworkers 

The reason why a coworker is behaving in a very difficult manner is very complex and multifaceted. Sometimes individual personality and external work factors matter a lot in shaping the relationship among co-workers. 

1. Personality Clash

Every individual has a very different working style, some individuals are very detail-oriented, while on the other hand, some people focus on the bigger picture. If there is not enough communication between co-workers, it can lead to misunderstanding and conflict. There can be certain disagreements over the ethical principles as well. 

2. Stress 

The high workload, tight deadlines and an expectations can contribute to stress and irritability. Sometimes, this stress and irritability can be displaced by coworkers. Issues outside the work, such as financial difficulties and relationship problems also impact the individual mood and behaviour. This causes a negative attitude and more friction. All these stresses lead to a breakdown of communication among co-workers, which can make it harder to resolve conflicts as they arise. Co-workers under distress may not take time to listen to others carefully or get defensive and approached about their behaviour, which leads to further misunderstanding and distress. 

Coping Strategies 

1. Maintain Professionalism 
  • Stay Calm and Composed: Even though it is very difficult to stay calm when you are dealing with a difficult co-worker, however, it is very crucial to prevent a difficult situation from escalating. Staying calm ensures that conflict remains constructive and doesn’t spiral into emotional confrontation. Hence, emotional regulation is very important to reduce workplace stress and avoid any kind of action that can worsen the conflict. 
  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with difficult co-workers. This will help you to protect your mental and physical well-being. You can set boundaries on how you interact, when you interact and ensure that the relationship stays strictly professional. Maintaining such boundaries can help you to gain certain control over how much the colleague’s behaviour affects you 
2. Effective Communication 
  • Use “I” statements: When communicating concerns, use non-confrontational and non-accusatory language. This can help prevent defensiveness. Start by framing issues with the “I” statement such as “I feel overwhelmed when tasks are last minute.” In this way, you can focus on the impact of the behaviour of your coworker on you and your work without sounding accusatory, which can help maintain a calm situation. 
  • Active listening: One of the effective ways to resolve conflicts is to fully understand the other person’s perspective. Active listening comes in very handy when you want to understand the other person’s perspective. When employees focus on hearing the other party’s concerns without interrupting, it helps resolve conflicts.
3. Empathy 

Understanding the challenges and the pressures of your colleagues can promote empathy and help resolve conflicts. Many researchers have found that empathy is a very powerful tool in conflict solutions and helps to bridge the emotional gap. 

4. Conflict Resolution Techniques 

Different conflicts require different approaches such as compromise, collaboration or avoidance. The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is commonly used to determine the most appropriate strategy based on the situation. In some cases, compromise may resolve the conflict quite easily while in some cases, collaboration is more effective. The TKI model categorises conflict resolution into five categories based on levels of assertiveness (fulfilling your own wants) and cooperativeness (meeting the needs of others). One way to resolve conflict is, competing, where you put victory first and be uncooperative.

Another way is working together, by being cooperative but also forceful, looking for win-win solutions. Finding a middle ground between being assertive and cooperative is known as compromise. Next is, Avoiding the confrontation by being hesitant and obstructive. An accommodating person puts the needs of others above their own. 

5. Utilise the Support system 

HR professionals can serve as mediators and guide how to handle these situations. Involving HR in conflict resolution can formalise the process and ensure that both parties are not hurt. In particularly challenging cases seeking external help from HR or the mentors can help you provide perspective and solutions as well. 

Dealing with difficult coworkers requires a combination of emotional regulation, communication, empathy, and sometimes external support. Addressing issues early, setting boundaries, and utilising the right conflict resolution techniques are crucial to maintaining a positive and productive work environment.

References +

Cheng, S., Kuo, C. C., Chen, H. C., Lin, M. C., & Kuo, V. (2022). Effects of workplace gossip on employee mental health: A moderated mediation model of psychological capital and developmental job experience. Frontiers in Public Health, 10, 791902.

Conway, P. M., Høgh, A., Balducci, C., & Ebbesen, D. K. (2021). Workplace bullying and mental health. In Pathways of job-related negative behaviour (pp. 101-128).

De Dreu, C. K. W., & Weingart, L. R. (2003). Task versus relationship conflict, team performance, and team member satisfaction: A meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(4), 741-749.

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Nathanson, C. (2020, March 4). Personality differences in the workplace. JWU CPS – JWU Online. https://online.jwu.edu/blog/personality-differences-and-effect-behavior-work/

Park, I. J., Kim, P. B., Hai, S., & Dong, L. (2020). Relax from job, don’t feel stress! The detrimental effects of job stress and buffering effects of coworker trust on burnout and turnover intention. Journal of Hospitality and Tourism Management, 45, 559-568.

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Thomas, K. W., & Kilmann, R. H. (1974). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Xicom, Inc.

UNICEF. (2024, October 3). Bullying: What is it and how to stop it. UNICEF Parenting. https://www.unicef.org/documents/behind-numbers-ending-school-violence-and-bullying

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