What does it mean to be in a Platonic Relationship?

The term “platonic friendship” might initially seem useless since friendships are inherently platonic, right? A platonic relationship is a close friendship between two individuals rooted in genuine affection and mutual respect, without any sexual or romantic involvement. This type of relationship thrives on deep emotional connection and support, but it lacks the romantic feelings and intimacy often present in romantic partnerships. 

Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol have been close friends for many years. They have acted together in many popular movies like “Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge,” “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,” and “My Name is Khan,” where their on-screen chemistry is strong.  However, off-screen, their relationship is purely friendly, with no romantic involvement.

They often talk about their friendship, highlighting their mutual respect,  trust, and affection. Their bond is a great example of a strong, platonic relationship in  Bollywood.  You can be friends with anyone, regardless of gender, without it becoming romantic. Even if there are romantic feelings involved, choosing to maintain friendship will keep it platonic.

According to Clinical Psychologist Akanksha Pandey, Platonic relationships are not exclusively a modern-day phenomenon; they have existed throughout history. What has changed is that modern society with its evolving social norms and increased emphasis on emotional well-being, has brought greater acceptance to these relationships. In today’s times, people are more open to diverse forms of intimacy, recognizing the value of strong, supportive friendships that pass beyond romantic involvement. Thus, while platonic relationships are not new, their recognition is more pronounced in contemporary culture.

Types of platonic relationships 

There are various types of platonic relationships, all of which are meaningful and valid. According to some experts, platonic relationships can span a spectrum, from casual acquaintanceships to deep, affectionate connections that feel soulful and loving. In essence, you can have a platonic relationship with your childhood best friend or even with your favourite coworker. Here are some common examples: 

• Study Buddy: These friendships are centred around academic pursuits. Study buddies support each other in learning and achieving educational goals, often sharing study sessions and academic challenges. 
• Gym Partner: This type of platonic relationship revolves around fitness and health goals. Gym partners motivate and encourage each other during workouts and physical activities, fostering a supportive and active friendship.

Womance: Term that describes a close, non-sexual, and non-romantic emotional bond between two women. It celebrates the strong friendship and companionship unique to female friends. As we all have witnessed in Bollywood the close bond shared between many actresses like Rani Mukerji and Preity Zinta in “Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna” or the friendship between Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra in “Bajirao Mastani.”

• Bromance: Term used to describe a close and emotionally intimate friendship between two men that is non-sexual and non-romantic. It highlights the strong bond, loyalty, and deep connection shared between male friends, similar to the supportive relationships found in close Friendships but specifically highlighting the bond between men. The Friendship of Chandler and Joey can come under platonic relationship or bromance.
• Work spouse: Describe a close, non-sexual relationship between colleagues of opposite genders. It involves deep emotional connection, mutual support, sharing personal details, and relying on each other for emotional support, similar to roles in a traditional marriage. This term underscores intense professional bonds, like those seen in shows such as “The Vampire Diaries,” Damon Salvatore and Bonnie Bennett develop a close, platonic work-spouse relationship. They support each other through supernatural challenges, building a deep bond based on trust and loyalty.
• Travel Companion: Platonic travel companions share adventures and experiences while exploring new places. They create lasting memories together and often bond over their shared love for travel and adventure. 

What are the benefits of a Platonic Relationship?  

There are several reasons why having platonic relationships is crucial for your health  and well-being due to the positive effects they can bring to your life including: 

• Improve mental and physical health: Friendship can have a positive impact on happiness, well-being, and longevity and support from people in your life can have important health benefits. This type of platonic love and support can lower your risk for disease, improve your immunity, and decrease your risk for depression and anxiety. Additionally, spending time with those you share platonic love with, can increase dopamine levels and decrease cortisol levels for better overall health. 
• Lower Stress: Stress can have profound effects on both physical and mental health,  leading to conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and weakened immunity. It also contributes to mood disorders like anxiety and depression. Having close platonic relationships outside of immediate family and romantic partnerships has been found to help individuals better manage stressors. Moreover,  supportive platonic friendships play a vital role in alleviating the overall stress individuals encounter. 

Building Resilience: Platonic relationships contribute to enhancing your resilience when facing life’s challenges. Whether dealing with issues in romantic relationships, family dynamics, work pressures, or health concerns, these friendships provide crucial support as you navigate difficult times. 

• Emotional support: in platonic relationships is crucial because it involves more than just casual companionship. When facing difficult times, such relationships provide a deep sense of empathy, where friends genuinely understand and share your feelings.  This understanding goes beyond sympathy; it involves actively listening, offering reassurance, and validating your emotions. 

Understanding What Platonic Friendship Doesn’t Mean  

Friendships meet an essential social need and can vary greatly from person to person. As long as the relationship is healthy and works for you, there is no issue. However, a friendship involving a desire for romance or sexual intimacy, whether those feelings are mutual or not, cannot be considered platonic. 

Friends with Benefits 

Imagine you have a really good friend. You go to concerts together, share similar tastes in movies, and enjoy activities like cooking and hiking. You also occasionally have sex. Neither of you wants a romantic relationship, and there are no romantic feelings involved. However, when the moment feels right, you sometimes engage in sexual activity. This type of friendship wouldn’t be considered platonic, even without any romantic interest.

Unrequited Love

When you have a crush (or stronger feelings) for a friend, it’s still possible to maintain a friendship. However, it’s important to recognise that the friendship can’t truly be platonic if you’re hoping for something romantic. The situation becomes more complex if you’re unaware of your friend’s romantic feelings toward you.

It’s common for romantic feelings to develop between friends, especially when spending significant time together. Moving forward, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and respect each other’s feelings to preserve the friendship.  

Post-Breakup Friendships 

It’s common to still have romantic or sexual feelings after a breakup, especially if the relationship is long-term. Even if you both decide to stay friends or realise you’re better off apart, it’s hard to go from being very close to just being friends. These leftover feelings can be confusing and might make you wonder if you should try the relationship again. This can lead to breaking up and getting back together, or having an on-and-off relationship. Some people do become good friends after breaking up or getting divorced. How the breakup happened can affect this. By setting clear boundaries and working on your  friendship, you can increase the chances of having a healthy, platonic relationship 

Platonic Relationship vs. Romantic Relationship  

A platonic relationship is not the same as a romantic one. Both involve deep friendship and sometimes love, but in a romantic relationship, people are usually physically intimate, like hugging, kissing, or more. In a platonic relationship, there’s no physical intimacy or sex. You might want to hug, kiss, or be intimate with your friend, but if you don’t do those things, your relationship is still platonic, even if you have those feelings. Platonic love can be as deep, meaningful, and physically affectionate as romantic love the only difference is that it typically does not include a desire or expectation of sexual or romantic intimacy.

According to Clinical Psychologist Navya Sree Nambiar, Platonic relationships offer a rich tapestry of intimacy, including companionship, acceptance, loyalty, and trust. The love shared between individuals in such relationships, known as platonic love, provides a safe space for vulnerability and nurturing. This environment supports mutual growth and allows deep emotional connections without the expectations of romance, fostering lasting bonds built on understanding and genuine care.

What is Platonic Intimacy? 

Platonic intimacy refers to any form of affection shown between close friends.  Whether you’ve hugged your friends, expressed love for them, or shared emotional moments, these are all examples of platonic intimacy. Essentially, it’s anything that strengthens your bond or shows deep respect and admiration for your friends, often during vulnerable moments.  Unlike casual friendships, platonic intimacy involves deeper connections. These are friends you trust and confide in, forming strong emotional bonds with them. 

Understanding Platonic Intimacy vs. Romantic Intimacy 

Platonic intimacy is different from romantic intimacy. While you may share intimacy with friends in similar ways as with your partner, like touching, sharing meals, or expressing love verbally, the key difference lies in sexual involvement. Romantic intimacy involves sexual attraction or acts, whereas platonic intimacy does not.  Heterosexual men and women can maintain platonic friendships successfully by establishing boundaries and treating each other strictly as friends,  without romantic expectations. Platonic relationships can be just as fulfilling, or even more fulfilling, than romantic ones! Some people find platonic soulmates with whom they share their lives. 

Challenges Of Platonic Relationships  

• Misunderstood Intentions: People might mistake your close friendship for a romantic relationship, leading to gossip or pressure to become more than friends. To avoid this, talk openly with others about the true nature of your relationship. 

Jealous Partners: If you or your friend have romantic partners, they might feel jealous or insecure about your close bond. Make sure your romantic partners understand and respect your platonic friendship. Open communication can help ease any unnecessary jealousy. 

• Developing Feelings (Unrequited Love): Sometimes, one friend might start to have romantic or sexual feelings for the other.  This can cause problems if the feelings aren’t mutual. It’s important to notice these feelings early and talk about them honestly. If you want to stay platonic friends, set and stick to clear boundaries, like spending less time together, reducing contact, and avoiding physical closeness. 
• Boundary Confusion: Platonic relationships can be very close, which can make it hard to set clear boundaries. Make sure to establish clear emotional and physical boundaries from the start, and adjust them if the relationship changes. 

Platonic love refers to a deep connection between people that doesn’t involve sexuality or romance. These relationships bring joy, companionship, support, and  novelty to our lives, and they can be just as meaningful as romantic  relationships.”Platonic love is real. It’s the unique connection you have with someone  who adds value to your life without romantic ties.”