The Psychological effects of Over-praising Children

Praise and encouragement are essential components of a child’s development, which play a crucial role in fostering self-worth, motivation, as well as enhancing a positive self-image. Everything in a limit sounds good. As much as praising is important, too much of it can lead to spoiled behaviour resulting in unintended consequences. Praising children when it’s not necessary can contribute to psychological issues. Not only this, but not praising at all can also lead to the development of low self-esteem and can affect the overall impression about themselves, disturbing their minds. Adults often uplift the children by saying good girl or good boy. But sometimes when it’s completely obsolete. It might not be helpful.

What is Over-praising?

Over-praising is defined as an excessive and unnecessary praising of children for every act and accomplishment or action, no matter how small or trivial it is. Excessive and unwarranted praising can result in spoiled behaviour. Praising children for meaningful achievements is reasonable, but excessive praise for minor tasks can be counterproductive.

Over-praising generally involves:

• Offering exaggerated statements of praise for some basic tasks. Children receiving praise for every minor task may develop unrealistic expectations for validation. 
• Prasing regardless of the actions. Turning a blind eye to mistakes and missed opportunities instead of providing constructive feedback.
• Using a generic compliment rather than praising constructively. 
• Always complimenting “you are the best “ or “ you are perfect “, building a false image.

What does Research says?

Many researchers have shown positive effects of praising a child, but it technically depends on what kind of praise we are dishing out. A recent Stanford study of toddlers has concluded that praising could lead to greater motivation. Children take praise very sincerely, which helps shape their confidence and self-esteem. It brings up more positive attitudes. Studies suggest that praise can raise the motivation of the children and encourage them to perform better, promoting autonomy, enhancing competence without any over reliance on social comparisons.

However, the actual problem arises when the parents start over-praising the children. Self-esteem isn’t built by telling kids they did everything perfectly. Instead, a true sense of self-esteem develops through real accomplishments. Most parents as researchers state that they end up over-praising just not to make them feel bad about themselves. They may even believe, on some level, that their child is exceptionally talented because they want to boost their own fragile self-esteem.

Negative effects of Overpraising 

As much as it’s understandable that praise is important for a Child’s development, any inflated praise can create several negative psychological effects. The key issue arises when children, due to over-praising, end up expecting praise for every task they perform. Over time, it can pile up and lead to many emotional and behavioural problems. 

1. Lack of internal motivation: children who are overpraised become dependent on external validation for even a trivial thing. 
2. Fear of failure: Over-praising may come to a view in such a manner that the children find it difficult to face the failure. Even the thought of failure becomes very disturbing for them.
3. Increased perfection: these children try to find perfection in everything. They can’t accept the flaws. They end up having high standards. This led to perfectionistic tendencies, where children feel the need to be flawless in every aspect of their lives. 
4. Reduced self-esteem and sense of self-worth: While praise is meant to boost self-esteem, over-praising can have an opposite effect. As they become older, they may become unsure of their value. Might feel a sense of inadequacy if they do not receive praise in the same manner as in their childhood. 
5. Inability to handle constructive criticism: They end up perceiving every criticism as a threat to self-esteem, which can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal and resentment when their efforts are critiqued. 

Read More: Defence Mechanisms in Everyday Battles

What should be done Instead?

Three principles as suggested in a few articles can support a healthy approach to praising kids.

1. Providing the children with a realistic feedback about their behaviour and the consequences. 
2. Let the child learn things on his or her own. View, observe and learn things rather than competing to be the best. 
3. Using praise mindfully. Showing the children they are valued regardless of their work or how well they perform in anything 

While praise plays a critical role in child development, over-praising can end up hindering the growth and affecting the health, as well as the mind. It can foster numerous unpredictable negative psychological effects in the Child’s life. Striking the efficient balance between praising mindfully and when necessary can promote a healthy upbringing. We all know parenting isn’t an easy task, but over-praising the child just to make themselves feel better can spoil their life in various ways.

This encourages children to be strong and embrace life, accepting its imperfections. Most importantly, the final thought is of making and keeping them happy emerges. Instead of just giving away praise, we must offer them chances to feel good about themselves by their efforts, rather than seeking any validation. Research has proven that generosity is the utmost key towards the path of happiness and a healthy life. Not only will this add up to their self-esteem, but it will also allow them to spread the feeling of worthiness to everyone around them. 

FAQs

1. What is the problem with Over-Praising children?

Over-praising kids makes them feel uncertain about their true abilities.

2. Will constantly praising a child harm them in the end?

In recent studies, another danger emerges, suggesting approval can become the extrinsic reward, the end goal.

3. Similarly, what does Constant scolding do to a child?

Scolding can lead to making them feel humiliated, fearful, guilty, and make them anxious about every single thing, which may result in developmental issues and trouble forming social relationships.

4. What happens to a Child’s brain when you yell?

Yelling and other harsh parenting techniques can alter a Child’s brain development. The main effect is on how children process feedback.