What are the reasons we don’t succeed and how to overcome them?

Success is a personalized and relative experience, rather than an objective or fixed standard we hope to attain. Each of us would define success based on our values, priorities and experiences. Personal, financial, social, spiritual, academic, and professional are some of the various settings in which a person can be successful.

While success is a highly subjective concept, there might be some universal reasons why we may not be successful in our life. Sometimes we might wonder what exactly holds us back from reaching great heights. To gain a better understanding of the various obstacles to success, let’s first look at some of the ways success can manifest as:

Manifestations of success 

People may strive for success in various aspects such as:

Family Success

Family success refers to building a supportive and prosperous environment for family members where they feel valued, loved and secure. Some of the important attributes of a successful family include: 

• Open and active communication between family members.

• Empathy and emotional support offered to all family members.

• Economic security and access to facilities like education, healthcare and well-being.

• Shared values, morals and ethical behavior to strengthen the family’s identity.

• Unconditional support and encouragement for each family member to pursue their own dreams, vocations, education and personal growth.

Professional Success

Professional success refers to factors in your career path such as satisfaction, stability, fulfillment, growth and development that lead to the achievement of career goals. The following are essential to achieve career success:

• Increased job satisfaction and intrinsic motivation towards your career growth.

• Managing work-life balance and avoiding career-based burnout.

• Empowering others through mentorship or leadership by sharing your experience, knowledge and expertise.

• Building a solid network of professional relationships and maintaining your reputation in your respective field or workplace. 

• Career growth or progression in your field by receiving managerial or leadership opportunities, promotions, laurels and recognition. 

Personal success

Personal success is the achievement of personal aspirations, goals through which we feel a sense of personal satisfaction. Personal success lies in:

• Building resilience, self-confidence and mastering a sense of discipline through habit formation and goal setting. 

• Learning from the past and taking accountability for your behavior.

• Overcoming rigidity, fears, challenges and personal limitations that stunt your growth.

• Focusing on the things that truly bring you happiness rather than following obligations or societal expectations.

• Living a fulfilling life that aligns with your values, beliefs, priorities, passions and interests.

Social Success

Social success is the ability to nurture supportive relationships in your life. It includes having a positive reputation among your social circle, creating a meaningful impact in the lives of the people in your personal and professional life. Social success can be achieved through the means of consistent communication, effective conflict resolution and by developing emotional intelligence and social intelligence. The key to achieving social success include:

• Having authentic relationships with people in your social circle, including supportive connections with family members, colleagues and friends. 

• Maintaining and expanding your professional network by meeting people from various fields and consistently communicating with your social and professional circle.

• Gaining respect and recognition in your community and society.

• Contributing to the society through social service, volunteering, community service and charity.

• Overcoming personal challenges like fear of rejection, social anxiety and fear of judgment.

Financial Success

Financial success refers to achieving security, stability, freedom and accumulation of your finances to maintain your desired lifestyle. Here are some of the ways to achieve financial success: 

• Building wealth though career development, business, investments and assets. 

• Avoiding financial debt and having adequate savings, funds and insurances for emergencies.

• Investing in assets that will accumulate over time such as cryptocurrency, real estate and businesses.

• Applying smart financial strategies, saving, investing, tracking and managing finances efficiently. 

• Being able to retire comfortably and generating financial security for future generations. 

Reasons why you are not successful:

Mindset

Our mindset plays a major role in determining whether we will be successful. Mindset can depend on self-confidence, self-discipline, optimistic attitude, consistency and adaptability, among other factors.

According to Carol S. Dweck, a pioneer in the field of mindset psychology, people tend to have two kinds of mindsets about their intellectual abilities. She stated that individuals who possess a fixed mindset evaluate their mental abilities as fixed and usually view mistakes as a decrease in ability and believe success is only possible with natural talents. On the contrary, people possessing a growth mindset believe that skills and abilities can be developed through persistent efforts. They believe that learning and making mistakes are part of the process of growth and believe that setbacks can be great opportunities to develop more skills. 

• When you don’t believe in your ability to succeed, you are already losing half the battle. Lacking confidence and consistency can be one of the main reasons for not being successful. 

• Struggling to adapt to the rising challenges and giving up are the leading causes of failure. 

• Having a cynical or pessimistic attitude can majorly affect your chances of success. These outlooks do not contribute to achieving your goals and are rather detrimental to your success. Negative self-talk can significantly affect our mindset and shift the focus to our shortcomings, rather than our strengths. 

Lack of organization

Being disorganized in your life and career can hold you back from achieving success. Some of the ways in which disorganization can affect success are:

• A disorganized mind and workspace can cost you many opportunities for growth and development in your life, career and relationships. 

• Without a structured plan or actionable goals, you are bound to be overwhelmed, distracted, unproductive and reactive. 

• A disorganized individual might make poor decisions as they lack clarity and tend to have a cluttered mind space. 

• A lot of time and efforts are wasted when your lifestyle lacks structure and consistency. 

• Overspending, debt, and instability are the outcomes of not organizing your finances efficiently. As a consequence, these result in making you stressed, overwhelmed, unreliable and heavily impede your growth. 

Fear of failure

• Did you know that your fear of failure can be one of the reasons holding you back from being successful? Failure is a necessary and inevitable step on the path to success. When we hesitate to take risks or step out of our comfort zones due to a lack of confidence in our ability to be successful, we are setting ourselves up for failure. 

• An ingrained fear of failure can cause us to overthink and procrastinate instead of progressing, growing, learning and succeeding.

• Comparing yourself to others and feeling unworthy of success makes you less likely to be successful as you begin to doubt your own abilities, strengths and potential. 

• Constantly stressing about failing can impair our focus, motivation, creativity, problem-solving ability and can lead to decision paralysis. 

• As a consequence of fearing the prospect of failure, we might end up not pursuing certain opportunities for growth that would have eventually led us to success. We tend to be plagued by guilt and regret when we miss out on opportunities due to a fear of failure. 

Lack of Mental Fortitude

• It takes a lot of perseverance to continue on the path to success. Most people give up or quit due to a lack of resistance and persistence. Resisting the temptation to quit and persisting in achieving your goals can be challenging for people who are not yet successful. 

• Another major contributor to failure is conforming to expectations and compromising on your personal values to be accepted by others. While collaborating with others, we might be more focused on being accepted rather than making progress in the way we wish. 

• Inability to stay motivated, focused, resilient, and decisive while facing difficulties is the reason why some people are not progressing towards success.

• Impatience and inconsistency are usually not the hallmarks of a successful person. So, a person who is impatient to taste the labors of success is bound to make critical mistakes and poor decisions. On the other hand, being inconsistent in your efforts and not taking action when necessary is less likely to lead to successful outcomes. 

How to overcome the obstacles to success? 

We can overcome the detriments to success by:

• Developing a strong work ethic, coupled with structure, consistency and discipline.

• Continuously growing, learning and improving yourself to reach the pinnacle of success. 

• Managing your time efficiently and prioritizing your tasks and responsibilities. 

• Having a positive outlook and persisting through challenges.

• Networking with people who inspire and uplift you. 

• Cultivating inner strengths and intrinsic motivation that can contribute to your version of success.

• Taking care of your physical and mental health can lead to increased productivity and success. 

• Regulating your emotions in order to be more proactive and responsive as opposed to being reactive and overwhelmed. 

• Maintaining a clutter-free environment and investing in to-do lists, planners and other productivity-enhancing tools, to aid your journey to success. 

• Regulating emotions and managing distressing emotions like anxiety, stress, frustration, etc you would encounter on your path to success.

• Developing productive routines and habits that directly contribute to success such as goal setting, task-tracking, getting adequate rest, etc.

• Maintaining a healthy work-life balance to avoid stress and burnout. 

• Reframing failure as constructive feedback, rather than a despairing setback to success.

Conclusion

Success is a journey that is fraught with failures, mistakes, hurdles and frustrations but it is also a path that can lead to immense satisfaction, purpose, clarity and meaningfulness in life. People struggle to be successful due to many reasons including lack of clarity, lack of mental fortitude, fear of failure, negative outlook, lack of confidence and inconsistency. 

Success is attainable when we maintain our perseverance, confidence, resilience and discipline while pursuing our various goals in life, whether on personal, professional or other fronts. Adapting to challenges, resisting the urge to give up and persisting towards your aspirations are some of the proven ways to be successful in your endeavors. So, what does success mean to you and what kind of success do you aspire to create for yourself?

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