Preparing For Fatherhood: 12 Tips to be a better Father

Becoming a parent is one of life’s happiest and most challenging moments. Fatherhood comes with a lot of responsibilities it is not just about financially taking care of the child its a lot more than that. Every child be it a boy or girl is influenced by their father. Your child is a part of yourself, he or she is all about your behaviour, actions, words, thoughts, and beliefs. 

When it comes to literature we have seen a lot of poems and stories that celebrate the relationship between mother and children but the number of writings regarding fatherhood is comparatively less. Fathers and children can be equally as attached as mothers and children. The relationship between a father and his children is as divine as that between the mother and children. A father’s involvement can have a positive impact on the infant’s health both physically and mentally.

According to Clinical Psychologist, Bidisha Bhattacharya, “The parenting style of a father impacts the child’s mental health. Children nurtured by an authoritarian father may have low esteem and difficulty in managing emotions. Children often mirror their father, it is important that the father exhibits desirable behaviour in front of the child so that the child learns healthy coping mechanisms. The father needs to have sound mental health so that a healthy environment prevails in the family.”

This can even lead to improved weight gain and better breastfeeding rates among preterm infants. The quality of fatherhood can also influence a child’s social, emotional, behavioural adjustment, and academic performance. The absence of a father can negatively influence the children and their living which has been explored in many studies. These children had issues with their self-image, and emotional security issues, had more chances of expressing delinquent behavior and many have been victims of abuse and exploitation. 

12 Tips to become a better father

1. The Change

Life was very different when you were unmarried, once a person gets married then you are no longer one, now this person is a part of your life in every aspect which requires a lot of adjustment. Once you turn a father this again demands a lot of adjustment and sacrifice. It will change your routine which will turn into your habit and then life. 

2. Be financially ready

Every parent should be financially ready before inviting a baby into their life. You are responsible for taking care of the baby from the moment they start taking form in the womb till they become a financially independent adult.

3. Be there for your partner

You and your partner are together on this journey. The pregnancy period will bring about physical and mental changes in a woman and understanding her will be the best thing that you can do for her. You should prepare each other for the journey of parenthood and share both excitement and worries.

4. How to deal with a baby

Holding the baby, feeding a baby, cleaning them, putting them to sleep all these are not just tasks they are ways to bond with your baby. You can easily learn it by observing others, from books or online platforms. Fathers are usually excited to learn it and this interest will make things easy for them.

5. Let us keep it ready

Make sure that your home is ready to have the baby. The cradle, feeding bottle, diapers, wet wipes, toys, clothes, and towels are some of the important things that a baby will need and there are a lot more.

6. Spend time with them

When the child is a baby everybody will be around the child, but once they reach a certain age you forget to spend time with them. Play with them, and talk to them no matter what their age. Today you can play rattle for them and tomorrow you can be gym partners. Eat together, take them shopping, or go for a family trip there are multiple options out there.

7. Be Patient 

Patience is an important part of parenting. Children take time to learn and understand the world. Let them be curious, a father should give wings to their imagination rather than clipping it. Allow them to make mistakes and let them grow.

8. Work-life balance 

Some fathers say that they love their family and put in their blood and sweat at work to secure their children’s lives. But years later you will be going through your late adulthood and will have nothing to sit back and cherish. Work is important, and life is important but a good parent is someone who knows how to keep balance between both.

9. Just be there

Any parent should take a look at themselves before being a parent, everybody has had some or other bad experiences in their life but, you should never project your traumas onto the next generation rather you should allow them to be themselves. Stand with them as a helping hand and give them advice whenever required. But never dig a hole in their head to fill in with your beliefs and thoughts.

10. Don’t worry

Every parent will place a lot of expectations on their child which is very natural but you should also understand that every phase of child is going to be different. Don’t put yourself under pressure, every person is different and so are you and your child. Nobody has found the perfect style of parenting but you can be the best one for your child. This journey will be tiring as well as divine so be mindful about this walk.

11. Please don’t 

After a while somewhere between late adolescence and early adulthood some fathers start to minimize the bond between them and their children only to be more strict with them. The father disagrees with the child’s opinions and scolds them with the thought of making them a better person while the son or daughter feels like the father is doing it out of anger and dislike. They do this out of concern but this can ruin the relationship due to misunderstandings. 

12. The change in bond

A baby needs a caretaker for almost all their needs but as they grow old their level of dependency reduces. This is how it works and a parent should not be worried about the changes that they show in different phases rather they should be proud of this transformation. Finally, there comes a phase when the parent will be dependent on your child and the child will be a strong eligible adult to help his or her parent.

According to Counselling Psychologist Anjali Haridas, here are some ways that fathers can maintain their mental well-being while supporting their children:

1. Instead of emphasizing quantity, emphasize the quality of time spent with your children.
2. Do not rate your worth based on what you can provide for your children. You are worthy irrespective of whether you can afford that expensive vacation your child wants to go on.
3. Engage your child in physical activities and games and participate in these activities along with them. This way, the well-being of your child is ensured, and you can skip a workout or two.
4. When you are emotionally and physically exhausted from work, managing life with your partner, and other responsibilities, be honest with your child about your emotions as much as you can. Instead of channelling your emotions in the wrong way, share them with your child. Crying occasionally does not mean you are not strong; it also sets an example for your child to express their emotions without judging themselves for having difficult feelings.

Every child considers their father as their superhero, yes they look up to you with lots of admiration and love. So be mindful of your deeds, as they are always observing your behaviours, actions, and words. Enjoy the journey of fatherhood as much as possible and don’t take the stress of being the best father. Be the person that you want your son or daughter to be and everything will fall in place.