“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.”
Long-distance Relationship this term often sparks debate with plenty stating the beauty of such relationships, and others highlighting its limitations. Long distance relationships have tested the limits of love, patience and commitment for centuries. But despite all the challenges it presents, more and more people continue to thrive with their long-distance partners every single day. Many couples have managed to overcome the difficulties and have proved that, “Distance does make the heart grow fonder.” However, this sweet old timely quote doesn’t express the entire truth.
Maintaining a successful relationship can be hard for couples when they are living in the same city. In the case of long distance couples, along with a significant geographical separation, normal relationship struggles can also amplify to greater levels. It is said that the odds are stacked against couples in a long-distance relationship.
More than 55% people in a recent survey revealed that they perceive such relationships to be much less satisfying than geographically close relationships. However, according to recent studies and statistics, distance in a relationship can often lead to increased intimacy, commitment, and stability. People in long-distance relationships have reported more relationship satisfaction lately.
Unique relationship challenges require unique and better coping strategies. Here is an all-inclusive list of issues faced by a long distance couple, and how to overcome them. These strategies not only help work around a particular struggle, but also make the relationship come out stronger than ever.
Also Read: Psychology Behind Relationships
Giving Importance of Communication
Effective and comprehensive communication plays a key role in every relationship. However, for a long distance couple, communication becomes a make or break factor. It happens very often, that couples find it hard to maintain a healthy balance in communication while living apart. Sometimes, there is a complete lack of communication for days, while other times, couples engage in hours and hours of continuous conversation every day. A gap in communication can be very dangerous to the stability of a relationship as it makes one feel ignored.
In this era of technology, video calling and texting have made the distance in these relationships more manageable. However, successful long distance couples realise the deficits of a phone call. The trick to avoiding a communication gap between two partners is to make up in quality, what is missing in quantity. Couples in close proximity have plenty of time to talk to each other and discuss daily nuances. When there is distance, every opportunity to communicate becomes special. Each partner should work on making the conversation more personal, and discuss meaningful details of their life. Since distance deprives couples of the benefits of physical touch or facial expression, it is important to be very emotionally expressive. This helps ensure that intimacy is intact, no matter how many miles separate the two people are.
Maintaining Work – Relationship Balance
When it comes to maintaining effective communication, there can be several obstacles in a couple’s path. Sleeping schedules, differing work and school timings, and living in different time zones can present real challenges for those in long distance relationships. With their individual routines going on, partners struggle to take out quality time for each other. It is really difficult to coordinate with each other and agree on timings which are suitable for both of them. Most couples communicate when it is convenient for an individual, and most of the long distance partners fail to fix a particular duration. This vagueness can build resentment and irritability over time.
One partner can feel an unwanted pressure to communicate when they are not available, for example, if at work or resting. Another adverse situation that can strain the relationship is that one partner may feel ignored due to the emotional unavailability and constant rebuffing by the other.
In order to avoid all these stressful circumstances, both the partners should discuss a schedule together. They should introspect and work out times when they can devote their uninterrupted attention to their significant other, and have meaningful discussions. A couple should discuss when they want each other’s company, and during what part of the day would they be able to enjoy and appreciate an intimate connection. It is of utmost importance that the couple takes out quality time which is convenient and supportive for both individuals.
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Sharing Responsibilities and Managing Pressure
Most couples have a list of tasks and responsibilities that they divide amongst each other. This makes sure that no single person is taking a majority of the workload. For couple living away from each other, sharing responsibilities can itself become quite a task. Dividing duties such as taking care of the household, managing finances, handling jobs, or parenting can present a huge challenge for the couple. If one person ends up taking responsibility of more than their share of duties then that person can start feeling emotionally and physically drained. This puts a strain on the relationship and also builds feeling of resentment.
Instead, communication plays a vital role in this aspect as well. Before separating and moving away, the couple should initiate a detailed discussion on the division of responsibilities. All concerns and doubts should be communicated. It would help each individual establish clear boundaries by telling their partner of the duties they can and cannot undertake. All expectations must also be voiced clearly. An intense discussion would ensure that there is no build-up of bitterness towards the other over time. Equal and fair contributions from both the partners are imperative where financial assets and family are involved.
Coping with Jealousy and Building Trust
One major problem when a couple decides to go the distance is that they lose sense of their partner’s daily routine. Some might worry that if they are out of sight, they are out of mind. The fear of infidelity is also higher among long distance couples than geographically close ones. Not knowing where your partner is and whose company they might be enjoying – are big contributors to growing anxiety and insecurities. This is completely understandable and quite normal for such situations. What is important to remember is showcasing suspicion and jealousy only makes matters worse.
The way around any rising feelings of doubt, is trust. Not just having trust in one another, but also putting the time and effort to build trust. The work to build, maintain, and strengthen trust is a two way street. Trust is built with transparency. As mentioned before, clear and honest communication ensures that there is complete transparency between two people. Both the partners need to prove that they are trustworthy and reliable. Gaining the confidence of your significant other can go a long way in eliminating all apprehensions that come with distance.
Also Read: How to deal with conflicts in a relationship?
Having Similar Future Plans as your Partner
Major problems can arise in a long distance relationship when the future of the relationship is unplanned and unclear. Choosing to enter a long distance relationship requires an immense amount of commitment, love and dedication towards the other person. However, it is a very precarious decision. The dedication and the desire to close the distance might vary from one partner to the other. One person may be more committed and emotionally invested in the relationship than the other. This can result in major conflicts in expectations, rendering at least one person in relationship feeling hurt and hopeless.
Any couple deciding to transition to a long distance relationship should be absolutely clear on their expectations and plans for the future. Mostly, it helps if both partners are certain of the temporary nature of their current relationship status. Being on the same page about long-term plans make it easier to work together as a team towards building and maintaining a relationship. Partners should keep regular updates on other’s plans.
As work, education, or families interfere with a mutual plan, it is important that each individual remembers to live their own life in their locality. It is true that living away from a loved one is difficult, but the relationship shall not hinder with individual interests, hobbies, and work life.
Love Knows No Bounds
As the issues of a normal relationship are amplified in a long-distance relationship, so is the love. It is said that the emotion of love and the determination of a commitment is a promise that can move mountains. All the long-distance relationships in the world prove that love and commitment towards one person can move across mountains, deserts, countries, and even continents!
When a dedicated couple takes the time and holds the patience to understand each other’s needs, there is nothing that can prevent them from building a successful healthy relationship while living miles away from each other. All relationships that are worth making sacrifices for – come with their own collection of unusual challenges. Life and relationships are always filled with complications. There is no complication in life that can’t be resolved with love and perseverance. Provided with these challenges and learning how their coping strategies, one can shape a beautiful and fulfilling long distance relationship.
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