How to Build Trust in Yourself After Betrayal: According to Psychologist

Betrayal may be explained as the violation of one’s trust and confidence to such an extent that it causes emotional distress. It tends to rupture the trust typically to the level that it can’t be mended easily once broken. It is associated with feelings of disappointment, hurt, and raging anger. While betrayal is often intentional, it might include purposefully omitting information, or voluntarily breaching certain expectations in a relationship. 

When the word betrayal is mentioned most people refer it to as an issue that concerns romantic relationships only it is not so. It is such a multi-faceted and difficult process that can occur in any type of relationship familiar, casual romantic, or even professional. Regardless of the type of relationship, betrayal can harm an individual’s mental and emotional well-being.

Read More: Addressing the Motives & Factors Behind Cheating in Relationships

Post Betrayal

When betrayed, people not only experience a loss of trust but also lose a deeper sense of self. There is a loss of innocence, identity, role, and reputation. In the end, the relationship breaks, and even if it endures, people lose the version of themselves that existed before the betrayal.

According to Clinical Psychologist Nitika Kimothi, Healing from betrayal can be a painful and isolating experience. The emotional impact can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety, and PTSD-like symptoms. Remember, you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, and seeking help is a sign of strength. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide a safe and supportive space to process your emotions and work towards healing and recovery.

Betrayal can be devastating, but healing begins with acceptance. This process involves acknowledging the pain, allowing yourself to grieve, and gradually rebuilding trust and forgiveness. Developing emotional regulation, engaging in self-care, and seeking professional support can further aid in recovery. Additionally, creating a strong support system of loved ones, friends, and like-minded individuals fosters a sense of security and belonging, helping you move forward with resilience and strength.

Types of Betrayal

Some types of betrayal might include dishonesty, disloyalty, disclosures of confidential information, broken promises, and deception. In romantic relationships, one of the most prevalent forms of betrayal is cheating which involves participating in secret emotional or physical affairs. Nevertheless, the feeling of betrayal can be highly subjective based on the beliefs, values, and expectations people hold in a relationship.

Read More: Infidelity And Micro Cheating: Hurdle in A Relationship

Betrayal Trauma

We have discussed what is betrayal above. Well, as we know trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event. Whereas betrayal trauma is the emotional and psychological distress experienced following a betrayal. This can occur for instance, when a person whom you always trusted betrays you. Intimate betrayals can result in betrayal trauma. It can contribute to post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), anxiety, and, depression. It can lower self-esteem and foster a deep sense of distrust in forming future relationships. Signs of betrayal trauma might include:

• Substance abuse
• Mental health issues
• Lack of trust in others
• Attachment problems
• Detachment from reality
• Difficulty managing emotions
• Physical pain such as headaches, nausea
• Sleep problems like insomnia, nightmares 

Read More: The Hidden Pace of Healing: Why Recovery Takes Its Own Time

Ways to Heal and Move Forward After Betrayal

Focusing on positive steps for healing and moving forward after betrayal can be done in the following ways,

1. Reach Out for Support

Speaking to someone you trust can be very helpful. Talking about a stressful situation to a person who will listen and understand you is always cathartic whether it’s a close friend, family member, or even a therapist, it aids in gaining clarity. If you feel hesitant or uncomfortable to talk to people you know, seeking professional help is the safest option to continue.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself can help in emotional healing. Replace junk foods with balanced diets, get adequate sleep, practice breathing exercises, and engage in activities that uplift your spirit. These are some ways which can help you to feel good about yourself. Rebecca Capps, a wellness expert suggests listening to some soothing music or even taking a bath can clear your mind and minimize stress.

3. Acknowledge and Accept What Happened

Accepting the reality of betrayal is crucial to begin the process of healing. Acknowledging the fact that betrayal has occurred will allow you to deal with the existing emotions. Acceptance provides you time to process what you are feeling, so you can then begin to live your life more freely.

4. Release Self-Blame

After being betrayed, people often wonder whether they are the ones at fault, they often blame themselves stating they deserve to be betrayed. However, it’s important to remember that the person who betrayed you is wrong. You need to remind yourself occasionally that you deserve healing and self-blame only hinders your recovery.

5. Be Patient with Yourself

Healing is a gradual process that might require some time. Don’t rush it. You might feel the full weight of the betrayal, but with patience, you’ll find progress in yourself soon. Trust the process and give yourself the time and space you need to recover.

6. Create Distance from the Betrayer

It’ll become difficult to heal while still interacting with the person who hurt you. So, distance yourself from them, this space can provide emotional clarity and speedy recovery. Distancing also means limiting information about them such as unfollowing them on social media or asking others not to bring them up in a conversation.

7. Choose Forgiveness for Your Peace

It does not mean you accept what they did or leave the betrayer off the hook, but it enables you to let go of bitterness and reclaim your calmness. It has been argued that forgiveness can be rather helpful, that people feel less stressed, and also anxiety levels, are better. However, it is a personal choice and does not entail that you should rebuild a relationship.

8. Resist the Urge for Retaliation

While it is natural to want revenge, retaliation ultimately keeps you stuck in negative emotions. It can prolong your healing process and contribute to feelings of regret. Rather than dwelling on vengeance, transform your energy into a constructive use by embracing changes that can aid in healing, growth, and moving forward with your life.

9. Take Time to Heal

It is important especially to note that betrayal is a process that may require enormous time to heal. Be patient and do not rush the process. At first, you might feel the after-effects of betrayal but with time, you’ll begin to feel better. The more you allow yourself time and space, the more powerful you will bounce back.

10. Focus on Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

Sometimes the betrayal could lead to a loss of trust in other people and also within you. To bounce back, try to rebuild your self-confidence and trust in your ability to make good decisions. Include statements of self-worth telling yourself that betrayal does not change your worth or your capacity to trust and have deep, healthy relationships in the future.

11. Embrace New Opportunities

Even though being betrayed is one of the worst feelings in the world, betrayal can signal a new chapter of life. When you have moved on past the initial feelings of anger, you can find new meaning in new challenges in life, relationships, and yourself. This means that sometimes life provides chances that were not observable during the time of suffering. 

These bouncing-back ways highlight self-kindness and acts of emotional recuperation, guiding us toward finding strength in time and the supportive, forgiving presence of others. Healing from betrayal is not something that happens in the blink of an eye so do not beat yourself up as you heal. It may be one of the worst feelings one could ever experience and yet, it could make a person better, tougher, and wiser.

Read More: How Radical Acceptance can make life easier to live

Conclusion

Therefore, it is clear; that overcoming the hurt from betrayal is a challenging but enlightening experience. As crushing as the pain of being betrayed is, it is possible to heal by processing your emotions, by seeking help internally, by prioritizing self-care, and by making sure to set boundaries. Recognizing the betrayal, and what it was meant to teach, choosing to forgive will enable the heaviness of pain incidentally associated, to release and you to regain your peace. In time, patience and self-reflection will restore your strength, rebuild the trust in yourself and you will learn to build healthy relationships again. Healing is a journey, and with every step, you are closer to a future with emotional strength and resilience.

FAQs

1. What is betrayal?

It is defined as the violation of confidence and trust in a way that results in emotional distress. It is associated with feelings of disappointment, hurt, and raging anger.

2. What are the types of betrayal?

Some types of betrayal might include infidelity, dishonesty, disloyalty, disclosures of confidential information, broken promises, and deception. 

3. Can you experience physical symptoms from betrayal?

Yes, it can lead to physical symptoms like insomnia, nausea, and headaches.

4. What are the signs that might indicate betrayal in a relationship?

Signs of betrayal might include a change in communication pattern, lack of emotional intimacy, unexplained absences, stealing, and lying.

5. How can you rebuild trust after facing betrayal?

Rebuilding trust requires honest and open communication, genuine remorse from the betrayer, and patience over time. It requires creating new agreements and consistent, reliable behaviors which are essential steps in rebuilding trust.