How do I know I need Therapy?: Psychologist Speaks

Remember the recent interview with Ranbir Kapoor regarding his idea of therapy? It didn’t help him, and he was vocal about it (let us forget about it being problematic or not for the sake of this article). But does therapy work for selective people? So are you “fit” for therapy? When do you know that you need therapy? This article would aim to help you understand with the right examples, while not triggering you due to the nature of the topic. 

Ground Rules  

Similar to Wi-Fi, everyone can benefit from therapy, but some people need it more than others. Therapy is your link to insight, whether you’re coping with significant life problems or simply a little emotional detachment. It’s for anybody who wants to decipher their mental inbox, whether it’s full or simply needs a little organising; it’s not for “selective” individuals.

But what about people? Are they “meant” for therapy? People aren’t exactly “meant” for therapy, but it’s like a spa day for your brain—you only know you need it when the tension’s built up. Ranbir mentioned that he started taking therapy before his father got diagnosed with cancer, with a thought process that it might help him. He saw it as a solution-focused approach, and not as a contributory approach. You don’t wait for your car to break down to get a service, right? If you’re wondering whether you should go, that’s often the first sign you probably should! 

In a similar vein, your attitude and readiness for therapy serve as the experience’s engine and steering wheel! Therapy has the power to change lives if you approach it with an open mind and a willingness to learn. It’s not a magic pill; rather, it works if you’re prepared to delve deeply, confront difficult facts, and put what you learn into practice.

So, How Do I know When I need Therapy?

Recognising the indicators of therapy needs is similar to recognising that your phone isn’t functioning at its best when it’s only at a 1% charge. Hence, therapy should be considered when:

1. Feeling stuck in the same emotional loop

You can feel stuck in the same feelings or mental patterns with no way out. Therapy reveals the underlying reason for these loops and provides fresh perspectives on how to approach and manage your emotions. In Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, Kabir is a dynamic character who is constantly chasing his dreams and adventures, yet he grapples with a deep-seated fear of commitment. This fear often leads him to emotionally distance himself from meaningful relationships, particularly with Naina, despite his feelings for her. His tendency to evade emotional vulnerability creates a cycle where he is unable to truly connect with others or fully enjoy his accomplishments.

Therapy could serve as a powerful tool for Kabir, providing him with the opportunity to explore his fears and the reasons behind his avoidance of commitment. By delving into his past experiences and understanding how they shape his present behaviours, he could gain valuable insights. This therapeutic process might help him recognize the patterns of emotional repetition that hinder his growth, enabling him to click “refresh” on his emotional landscape. Ultimately, therapy could empower Kabir to embrace vulnerability and foster deeper, more meaningful connections, allowing him to pursue not only his ambitions but also the relationships that bring him joy.

2. Emotions are running the show

Whether it’s impulsivity, rage, or mood swings, when emotions control your decisions, it might result in regret or harmful behaviour. In Cocktail, Veronica embodies the classic struggle of appearing vibrant and carefree on the outside while grappling with inner chaos and unresolved emotional issues. Her impulsive actions and temper tantrums often mask deeper feelings of insecurity and loneliness. When emotions take control, it becomes crucial to have conversations that explore these feelings instead of burying them beneath a facade of partying and enjoyment.

Therapy could provide Veronica with a safe space to express her emotions and confront the underlying issues driving her behaviour. Through open dialogue and self-exploration, she might learn to recognize triggers for her impulsivity and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This could lead to greater emotional stability and a more authentic way of engaging with herself and others, ultimately fostering deeper connections and personal growth.

3. Sleeping like Kumbhkaran or not at all

Our sleeping habits can provide insight into our mental well-being. Oversleeping may be a sign of avoidance or despair, whereas sleeplessness may be a sign of anxiety or overthinking. In Piku, Bhaskor Banerjee struggles with insomnia, largely due to his constant preoccupation with his health and various worries. His anxiety not only affects his sleep but also impacts his overall well-being and relationships.

Therapy could have provided Bhaskor with effective strategies to manage his anxieties and calm his racing thoughts. Through therapeutic techniques such as mindfulness, cognitive-behavioural therapy, and relaxation exercises, he might have learned to address his health concerns more rationally, leading to reduced stress levels. By managing his worries, Bhaskor could have improved his sleep patterns, leading to a healthier and more balanced life.

4. Social battery constantly drained

Burnout or social anxiety may be indicated if you find yourself avoiding social events or feeling emotionally spent after little to no involvement. In Dear Zindagi, Kaira feels overwhelmed by life, leading her to withdraw from friends and family as she struggles with emotional baggage and unresolved trauma. This isolation intensifies her feelings of confusion and dissatisfaction.

However, therapy becomes a turning point for Kaira. Through her sessions, she gradually unpacks her fears, childhood experiences, and emotional blocks, which allows her to regain emotional vitality. Therapy helps Kaira reconnect with her emotions and develop healthier ways of expressing herself. As she begins to heal, Kaira starts to communicate openly with her loved ones, restoring her relationships and rediscovering her sense of self.

5. Overthinking like a Bollywood monologue

Overthinking can cause crippling weakness,  making even seemingly simple decisions seem unachievable. Often, nervousness or a fear of failing are its root causes. In Queen, after being dumped, Rani goes through a period of intense self-doubt, constantly second-guessing herself and her past decisions. Her inner critic holds her back from fully embracing her newfound independence.

Therapy could have helped Rani address these insecurities and challenge the negative self-talk sooner. Through counselling, she might have gained the tools to silence her inner critic, rebuild her self-esteem, and recognize her strengths more quickly. This process could have empowered her to embrace her independence with greater confidence, helping her move forward in life without the weight of self-doubt.

6. Lost sense of direction

You might benefit from therapy if you feel as though you’re aimlessly cruising through life without any sense of direction, fulfilment, or goals. In Tamasha, Bunny experiences a deep conflict between his passion for storytelling and the societal expectations of a conventional career. Counselling could have helped him explore and express his true desires while finding ways to balance them with the pressures of societal norms. Through guided self-reflection, he might have learned to make decisions that align with his inner aspirations, fostering personal fulfilment without feeling trapped by external expectations.

7. Constant irritability

Being easily irritated or disturbed by little things could indicate unresolved problems or underlying emotional anguish. In Meri Pyaari Bindu, Raghav’s frequent outbursts, especially towards Bindu, stem from his unresolved feelings of rejection and emotional hurt. His deep attachment to Bindu and the unfulfilled romantic expectations fuel his frustration, making it difficult for him to manage his emotions. This unprocessed pain manifests as anger and irritability, particularly when he feels misunderstood or ignored by her. If Raghav had sought counselling, it could have provided him with a safe space to process these emotions, helping him understand the root of his anger and develop healthier ways of dealing with rejection and unmet expectations.

8. Avoiding important issues

Avoiding challenging discussions, obligations, or choices is frequently a sign of nervousness or confrontational fear.  In Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Dev avoids confronting the dissatisfaction in his marriage, which leads to growing resentment and emotional distance. By postponing dealing with his unhappiness, he unintentionally deepens the issues within the relationship.

Therapy could have provided Dev with a structured environment to explore his genuine emotions and identify the underlying causes of his dissatisfaction. With professional support, he might have gained clarity, learned to communicate openly with his partner, and found a resolution—whether through reconciliation or a healthier separation—sooner, rather than allowing the issues to fester.

9. Difficulty connecting with others

Feeling aloof, detached, or unable to connect deeply with people on an emotional level is frequently an indication of emotional barriers within. In Tamasha, Ved struggles to express his inner feelings, hiding his true self behind a metaphorical mask to conform to societal expectations. His inability to be vulnerable and authentic leads to internal turmoil.

Therapy could have encouraged Ved to explore this disconnect, helping him understand the importance of embracing vulnerability as a means of genuine connection. Through counselling, he might have been inspired to shed the mask he wears, allowing him to communicate his true emotions and desires to others, ultimately leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

10. Constant self-doubt

It can be mentally draining to constantly second-guess yourself and have low self-esteem. In Jab We Met, Geet, initially bubbly and self-assured, faces deep self-doubt and emotional turmoil after her heartbreak. Her once unshakable confidence falters as she struggles to reconcile her romantic idealism with the pain of rejection. Therapy could have offered Geet a safe space to process her grief and understand the roots of her self-doubt. Through therapeutic support, she might have rebuilt her self-esteem, learned to navigate her emotions healthily, and ultimately regained her sense of confidence, allowing her to move forward with greater emotional resilience.

11. Carrying past baggage

It might be difficult to move on from unresolved trauma or emotional scars from the past. In Jab We Met, Aditya is deeply affected by his broken heart and unresolved issues from past relationships, which leave him emotionally withdrawn and disillusioned. Therapy could have helped Aditya process this emotional baggage by encouraging him to confront his feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Through counselling, he might have gained insights into his patterns of emotional withdrawal, learned healthier coping mechanisms, and gradually healed from the pain of his past. This therapeutic journey could have allowed Aditya to rediscover his sense of purpose and emotional balance, fostering personal growth and recovery.

12. Difficulty with boundaries

If you find it difficult to say “no” or frequently feel overburdened by the expectations of others, it may be an indication that you need assistance creating appropriate boundaries. In Andhadhun, Simi often struggles to assert herself and becomes entangled in morally questionable situations. Her inability to establish clear boundaries leads her to make dubious choices, driven by fear or manipulation.

Therapy could have helped Simi develop stronger self-awareness and clearer moral boundaries, empowering her to recognize and resist manipulation. Through therapeutic work, she might have learned to assert herself with confidence, make decisions aligned with her values, and avoid situations where she is easily swayed into compromising her integrity. This could have led to healthier relationships and more ethical choices.

According to Clinical Psychologist Gunjan Joshi, Identifying emotional patterns can indicate the need for therapy because it reveals recurring feelings or reactions that suggest deeper issues. For example, if someone often feels sad or anxious in similar situations, it might point to unresolved problems or past experiences. Just like a recurring pain in your body can signal a need for medical attention, these emotional patterns can show that need for attention. Recognizing these patterns helps individuals understand that talking to a therapist can provide support and guidance in addressing these underlying concerns. Through therapy, you’ll learn techniques to better handle these emotional patterns, empowering you to respond more effectively in the future.

Recognizing emotional patterns is crucial, as this can highlight the need for therapy by revealing consistent feelings or reactions tied to deeper issues. For instance, frequent sadness or anxiety in similar circumstances might indicate unresolved problems or past experiences. Just as ongoing physical pain can signal the need for medical care, these emotional trends can suggest a need for support. By identifying these patterns, individuals can realize that engaging with a therapist can offer valuable assistance in tackling these underlying concerns. Therapy can equip you with tools to manage these emotions, empowering you to respond more effectively moving forward.

FAQs

Can I seek therapy only during major life events like the breakup/ death of a close one?

If you feel overwhelmed and life feels harder, irrespective of the cause/ event, therapy can help you gather the confetti of your feelings and find some joy again!

I often feel sad for no reason. Is that a red flag?

If your mood changes suddenly, and you are unable to understand or control it, it’s time to chat with a therapist and level out those ups and downs.

Isn’t therapy just for the weak?

Asking for assistance is a sign of strength! It requires bravery to ask for help when you need it, much like a superhero would when they need reinforcements.

Is therapy only for women?

Nope! Therapy is for everyone—like ice cream flavours, there’s something for all! Men, women, and everyone in between can benefit equally!

Can I just talk to friends instead of a therapist?

Friends are great, but they can’t always provide the professional tools and techniques a therapist offers.