Wondering if someone Truly loves you?: Signs to Look For

Do you remember the classic Bollywood definition of love? Butterflies in your stomach, the world around you smells different, you feel awakened yet lost in the eyes of the person you are in love with, and how can we forget the Moon? Suddenly, background dancers and singers are humming the song. But is this what love looks like in real life? There is no background music to know if someone loves you, no Arijit Singh or Anuv Jain is singing your favourite songs. So, how do you know when someone loves you?

Wearing the Lens of Experience

It takes more than just “I love you’s” or magical pills to convince you of that; rather, it takes a sequence of events. The intensity of the relationship’s emotional bond, respect for one another, and continuous work are signs of true love. Love is a complicated, multidimensional feeling that goes well beyond tangible presents and words of praise. It is shown by constant behaviour, emotional support, reciprocal regard, persistent work, trust, and consideration, all of which contribute to the development of a strong and meaningful bond. Therefore, to make things simpler, review this checklist:

• Consistent Support: They’re always there for you when things get tough, cheering you on and celebrating your wins. Whether it’s offering encouragement or jumping in to help with whatever you need, they’ve got your back.
• Unconditional Care: They get it when you mess up and are quick to forgive. Their love isn’t tied to conditions or circumstances—it’s there no matter what.
• Acts of Kindness: They remember the little things that matter to you and surprise you with them. Their thoughtful gestures come from the heart, with no strings attached.
• Prioritizing Your Happiness: They go out of their way to do things that make you happy, even if it’s not their thing. They plan and join in on activities you love because your happiness matters to them.
• Comfort and Safety: They create a safe space where you can be yourself without worrying about being judged. When things get tough, they offer comfort and understanding, always there to support you.
• Empathy and Understanding: They take the time to understand and support your feelings, no matter how small they might seem. Their compassion and care for your emotions show just how much they value you.
• Open Communication: They start calm conversations to work through disagreements, listen attentively to what you have to say, and share their own feelings honestly.
• Effort in the Relationship: They make time for you even with a busy schedule and plan activities that help nurture and strengthen your relationship.
• Respect: They value your opinions and perspectives, even if they’re different from their own. They respect your boundaries and appreciate your individuality.
• Commitment: They talk about and plan for a future together, showing dedication to building a long-term relationship with you.

Although it is short, this checklist offers a helpful insight into what true love is. It draws attention to important elements of a loving relationship (e.g. mutual respect, emotional connection, and constant support). Even though it is unable to fully explain all the nuances of love, it provides a fundamental understanding of love. Although there is much more to genuine love than meets the eye, this checklist can help you identify and value the more profound aspects of a satisfying and lasting relationship.

Read More: 7 Myths about Healthy Relationships

But What if they are not in Love?

If you’re unsure about someone’s commitment, there are several clear signs that they might not be fully invested in the relationship. So, to understand better, here is a checklist (again). You can use this checklist as a tool to assess the dynamics of your relationship and determine whether the degree of affection and commitment is consistent with true love. If there are several indicators, it could be worthwhile to talk to your partner about these problems directly or look for more information regarding the relationship.

• Lack of Effort: They don’t seem too interested in keeping the relationship strong. They rarely make an effort to spend quality time with you or do things that matter.
• Inconsistent Communication: They only reach out sporadically or when it suits them. They tend to avoid or brush off conversations about your relationship or any plans.
• Disrespect or Neglect: They display disrespectful behaviour, such as criticism or neglect, and fail to value or appreciate your presence and contributions in their life.
• Emotional Distance: They keep their feelings at a distance and are reluctant to share their vulnerabilities. They seem indifferent to your emotional needs and struggles.
• Lack of Support: They don’t offer support when you’re facing challenges or need help. They show little interest in your goals, dreams, or well-being.
• Avoidance of Conflict: They steer clear of addressing or resolving conflicts, leaving issues unresolved. They prefer to ignore problems rather than work through them together.
• Minimal Engagement: They seem uninterested in connecting with your family, friends, or other important aspects of your life. They appear disengaged during shared activities or events.
• Disregard for Boundaries: They ignore or violate your boundaries and don’t respect your individuality or personal space.
• Unreliable or Inconsistent Behavior: They’re unreliable, breaking promises or failing to follow through on commitments. Their actions and attitudes toward you are inconsistent.
• Lack of Physical Affection: They show little physical affection or intimacy, and don’t initiate or respond to affectionate gestures. They seem uncomfortable or disinterested in physical closeness.
• Self-Centred Attitude: They prioritize their own needs and desires over yours, showing little regard for your feelings. They focus mainly on what they can gain from the relationship rather than contributing equally.
• No Future Plans: They avoid discussing or making plans for the future together and show little interest in building a long-term relationship or commitment.

In conclusion, it is important to remember that love is not as simple as we see around us. It holds multiple complex layers, that with time can manifest in multiple ways. These checklists are not definitive since every relationship is different. Sincere love is like a steady flame that never goes out with constant care and effort, whereas uncertain love is like a flickering candle that can be doused by the slightest doubtful wind.