Why we fear Failure and How to Overcome it, According to Psychology

Failure is something that happens to all of us and has been a source of disappointment, fear, and disbelief in our capabilities. And yet, what if I told you that the fear of failure prevents many of us from pursuing our goals, dreams, and potential? Why does this happen? How should one approach the situation? This blog relies on our psychological understanding and theories to outline some possible reasons for this fear of failure and strategies to overcome it, using everyday examples.

Understanding the Fear of Failure

The fear of failure or “atychiphobia,” is an extreme concern about not being able to meet either one’s personal or other people’s expectations. It is more than normal anxiety when something important is at stake-it is a continuous and often paralyzing kind of anxiety, which will prevent people from acting. Psychologically, the causes of this fear are numerous:

• Perfection: Perfection has set very high standards for the self. The performances of perfectionists are very closely related to their self-worth, and fear of failure is extreme. When perfectionists fail to achieve their performance goals, they might suffer from self-blame and shame and loss of a sense of self-worth. For example, a student who looks for perfect grades will avoid difficult subjects on the basis that failure would prove his inferiority.
• Early Conditioning and Social Learning: The nature and manner with which failure is handled by the family and others around the child strongly influence the type of reaction towards failure as an adult. Children who are verbally attacked whenever they make mistakes or fail might grow up to view failures as a loss of love, respect, or acceptance. This association might create a fear of failure deeply inscribed in one’s psyche for a long.
• Self-worth theory states that an individual dreads failure since it represents their actual latent abilities. The theory posits that people measure worth with performance. When they fail, it feels like a direct hit on their personal value-which is devastating enough.

Read More: How Do I Enhance My Feeling Of Self-Worth?

Psychological Consequences of Fear of Failure

In the psychological realm, fear of failure can result in the following

1. Procrastination:

Fear of failure results in procrastination because people do not want to experience the possible pain related to failing. In such a case, procrastination offers a temporary escape from anxiety related to failure. It generally leads to a vicious cycle of stress and poor performance. For Example, Mike kept putting off his business proposal for fear of it not meeting the expectations of the investors. The delay only increased his anxiety levels and reduced his ability to succeed.

Read More: 10 Effective Strategies to Battle Procrastination, According to Psychology

2. Low Self-Esteem:

The repeated avoidance of critical tasks because of fear leads to more reinforcement of low self-esteem feelings. The individual begins to perceive him or herself as incompetent and the same fear perpetuates the vicious circle. For Example: She was a writer, and upon receiving a few rejections, she stopped submitting her work to be published. Fearing more failure dwindled her self-confidence, and in a way, she lost confidence in her writing skills.

Read More: Why it’s Important to have High Self-Esteem, According to Psychology 

3. Fear of Choice:

Decision paralysis can be so oppressive that it creates a freeze between option A and option B. The indecision paralyzes a person, making one unable to move any further, so one misses possible growth and learning moments. For example: Raj was given the opportunity to head up a new project at work. Although he was qualified for that role, he turned down the opportunity, believing he might fail in that role. Therefore, his fear of failure deprived him of very desirable experience and promotion opportunities.

Psychological Strategies to Overcome Fear of Failure

Victory over the fear of failure is achieved by a change in attitude and implementing psychological strategies. Some of the effective methods include the following:

• Reframe failure as an opportunity: Many ways of defeating the fear of failure would be by reframing it as a potential for learning and growth. Carol Dweck in her Mindset Theory suggests that people with a “growth mindset” regard failure as a natural part of the learning process rather than a reflection of one’s worth. This perspective reduces the fear associated with failure and encourages risk-taking. Example: Rather than equating rejection of your job application to personal failure, consider it an opportunity to polish your resume and interview. Such a change in perspective may help lower anxiety but heighten resilience levels.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Cognitive behavioural therapy is the approach through which it helps people overcome negative thought patterns that may lead to behaviour. Identification of irrational beliefs about failure and change of patterns with rather more balanced thoughts reduces an individual’s fear as well as anxiety.
• Exercise: Maintain a thought diary in which you record your fears of failure. For each fear, examine it and try to dispute its validity. For example, if you think, “If I fail this exam, I am a failure,” counter it with, “One exam does not define my abilities.”
• Exposure Therapy: Gradual exposure to situations in which one may fail can make a person desensitized to his or her fear. People can learn that failure is not as terrible as they think by frequently facing their fear in manageable steps. Example: If you are afraid of public speaking, start speaking in front of a small, encouraging group. As one gains confidence, increase the size of the audience gradually.
• Setting incremental, achievable goals: The setting of smaller but more achievable aims will build your confidence and remove the feelings of intimidation that come with attempting perfection. It makes the big task manageable and reduces fear of failure by breaking it into even smaller steps. Example: Instead of the concept of completing an entire project, use small steps, completing one little step at a time, and celebrating as you complete it. This reinforces a sense of accomplishment and decreases the anxiety over failure of the task.
• Self-Compassion: Being compassionate with yourself when things do not go well involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding. According to psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion can counter the harsh self-criticism that often accompanies the fear of failure. Example: When you fail a task instead of thinking, “I’m so stupid,” reframe this with self-compassion: “It’s okay to make mistakes; I’m learning and improving.”

Real-Life Examples of Overcoming Fear of Failure

• Thomas Edison and the Invention of the Light Bulb: Thomas Edison famously failed thousands of times before successfully inventing the light bulb. Instead of seeing each attempt as a failure, he reframed it as a step closer to success, stating, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

• J.K. Rowling’s Success Story: J.K. Rowling received successive rejection letters before Harry Potter was finally published. She did not stop because of her rejections; rather, she used them as a driving force to improve her manuscript. Today, she is the author that has topped all charts as the world’s most successful writer.
• Steve Jobs and Apple’s Resurgence: Steve Jobs had been fired from the Apple company which he founded. This is as much of a major collapse, but for Jobs, termination was just a stepping stone to new adventures that would eventually bring him back into Apple and the firm back to the top.

Conclusion

The root of fear of fail goes very deep into our psyche. These roots are mainly fueled by perfectionism, early conditioning, and the pressure of society. Once one understands the root causes and applies psychological strategies like reframing, CBT, exposure therapy, setting realistic goals, and practising self-compassion, this culture of fear towards failure can become a force of strong growth. Failure is not the end; it is a stepping stone to success. By embracing failure as part of the learning process, we can unlock our true potential and pursue our goals without the paralyzing fear of what might go wrong.