Why it’s Important to have High Self-Esteem 

Self-esteem is a judgment or evaluation of our sense of self-worth and value. It includes how we feel about ourselves, our abilities, achievements, and qualities, and how we compare ourselves to other people and the people around us. According to Morris Rosenberg, self-esteem refers to an individual’s attitude towards themselves and how much they value their own identity and self-concept. 

Developing healthy self-esteem is essential for mental well-being and is also often associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress. Self-esteem not only influences how we think about ourselves but also shapes how we interact with people around us.

Hence, Individuals who tend to have healthy self-esteem, tend to have better and more fulfilling social relationships. However, having self-esteem that is either too high or either to low is very problematic, hence, striking a balance between it is very important. 

Why is Self-Esteem Important? 

Developing healthy self-esteem is one of the key tools if you want to foster better mental health, personal growth, and better social relationships. 

1. Better Mental Health 

A stronger sense of self-esteem is often associated with better mental health. People who tend to have a healthy sense of self-esteem experience fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders. The reason for this is that healthy self-esteem tends to act as a buffer against stress and other adversities in life, which helps the individual to recover more quickly.

Also, people with healthy self-esteem engage in positive self-talk. On the other hand, people who have lower self-esteem tend to engage in negative self and foster negative thought patterns which can lead to depressive episodes and anxiety. 

2. Personal Growth 

Self-esteem is also seen as very crucial for one’s personal growth. Individuals with a healthy sense of self-esteem tend to be more confident in their abilities and their qualities and due to this, they are willing to take on more challenges and risks. This in turn leads to better success and growth in their personal as well as in their professional life. People who tend to believe that they are capable and have the potential for achieving higher goals, tend to strive for personal development and self-actualisation.

Whereas individuals with low self-esteem may avoid any challenges and might downplay their potential which can lead them to be stuck in self-defeating behaviour. People who have a healthy sense of self-esteem also tend to make better decisions as they are confident in their abilities. People with low self-esteem might doubt their abilities when it comes to making decisions.

3. Fulfilling Social Relationships 

Individuals who have healthy self-esteem tend to effectively communicate their boundaries and engage in mutual respect. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem might have unfulfilled social relationships because they tend to tolerate disrespect, abuse and manipulation. Their belief that they don’t deserve better or something good can be the cause of such a tendency. This also sometimes leads to the establishment of patterns of codependency or people-pleasing behaviour. 

Healthy self-esteem is associated with better mental health outcomes, better and more fulfilling relationships and personal growth. However, having an overly high self-esteem is also very detrimental to oneself. Having a higher self-esteem may lead to a sense of entitlement and overestimation of skills having an overly high surface team, also tends to block you from improving yourself because you might become fixed on, viewing yourself as perfect. 

Factors that affect Self-Esteem 

Some internal and external factors influence our self-esteem. Childhood experience tends to play a crucial role in the development of self-esteem. Having a supportive, nurturing and affirming parental style and environment, helps to build the child’s confidence and self-worth which leads to a healthy sense of self-esteem. On the other hand, having an overly critical, neglectful or abusive parenting style or environment leads to lower self-esteem. 

Attachment styles also tend to play an important role here. Children who experience a more secure attachment style with their parents and caregivers tend to develop more healthy self-esteem as compared to children who develop an insecure attachment style with their parents. The kind of attachment we have with our parents and caregivers is very crucial in laying the foundation for our adult relationships. 

Social Comparison is also something which can influence our self-esteem. As we go through the world, we tend to compare ourselves with our peers, friends, family etc. A normal level of comparison sometimes also helps us to feel motivated to do our best, but sometimes it can have detrimental effects as well. Frequent negative comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem.

On the other hand. If the individual engages in positive social comparison, it can help them to increase their self-esteem. However, a strong reliance on social comparison in order to build your self-esteem can be detrimental as it tends to create a more fragile sense of self-esteem. 

According to the self-efficacy theory, people who believe that they have the capacity and the abilities to achieve a higher goal tend to have higher self-esteem. Self-efficacy refers to believing that you can and have the ability to accomplish certain things, maybe in your career in sports or in your personal life. This gives you a sense of competence, which can contribute to healthy self-esteem.

In today’s time, social media has gained an upper hand in dictating what is desirable and what is not desirable, especially in the context of body image and appearance. Social media tends to create an environment of over-comparison of our bodies with that of celebrities or influencers, which can often lead to a negative perception of our bodies and appearance. Research has shown that this kind of negative perception of body image can lead to poor self-esteem. 

Our social economic status also tends to shape our self-esteem. Due to the financial struggles and lack of available opportunities individuals from a lower socioeconomic background tend to experience lower self-esteem. On the other hand, people coming from a higher socioeconomic background tend to have higher self-esteem due to better access to education and opportunities. 

Our culture also needs to play an important role in shaping our self-esteem. In an idiocentric culture, where personal achievement, independence, and uniqueness are celebrated. The person’s self-esteem may be tied to how much they achieve in their life and their level of independence. On the other hand in allocentric cultures, which tend to focus on group harmony, family rules, and a sense of belongingness, the self-esteem of an individual in such cultures might be tied to what social role they have. For example in allocentric cultures, the person’s self-esteem might be tied to social roles such as being a daughter or being a mother or being a father. 

Even though it is well-established that having a healthy sense of self-esteem, tends to lead to better mental health outcomes. However, the opposite can also be argued. Individuals who tend to have negative thought patterns, and cognitive distortion, such as over-generalisation, tend to have lower self-esteem. Aoron Becks cognitive beral therapy tends to address patterns of negative thought, and cognitive distortion, which improves one’s self-esteem. Individuals who tend to experience episodes of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions also tend to be associated with lower self-esteem. 

Hence, we can say that self-esteem is shaped by the interplay of very complex factors which range from individual factors, social factors, environmental factors etc. 

How to Improve Self-Esteem 

Though there are various factors which tend to shape our self-esteem are outside our control. However, there are some conscious efforts that we can make in order to improve our self-esteem as well. 

• Celebrating your Strengths: Celebrating your strengths and achievements, whether they are big or small, reminds you of your ability and your success. This can reinforce a positive sense of self-esteem. 
• Positive Social Relations: Surrounding yourself with family and friends who uplift you and encourage you can be very important for fostering healthy self-esteem. Avoid spending time with people who think less of you or try to reduce your confidence. 
• Self-Compassion: According to Kristen Neff, people who tend to be more self-compassionate towards themselves when they do something wrong or when things go wrong tend to have a more healthy sense of self-esteem. If you ever notice yourself being too overcritical of yourself when you make any mistake, slowly bring your awareness to this and try to replace those thoughts with more compassionate and supportive thoughts.
• Changing Negative Beliefs: The way we think about ourselves and about the world also tends to affect us. If we make generalised statements about ourselves and the world, such as “I will never be enough” or “nobody loves me”, this negatively affects our self-esteem. Hence, replacing those statements with more realistic and positive ones can help you to boost your self-esteem. Journalling can come very handy in this, you can simply track down and write your thoughts that are negative in nature and try to replace them with positive ones. 

Improving self-esteem is an ongoing process and it requires self-awareness, persistence and consistence support. Focusing on self-compassion, challenging negative thought patterns, and building positive relationships can help you to strengthen your self-esteem.