Why Do People Sometimes Ignore Each Other?
We have all been at the receiving end of ghosts on text or ignored by someone. Likewise, we have also ignored people in our lives at one time or another. Whether you’ve been ignored or you have ignored your friend, a work colleague, your partner, or anyone else, it still stings. It leaves an unusual bitter taste in your mouth and is sometimes accompanied by negative thoughts.
Why do people ignore someone? Is there any specific reason behind it that is justified enough?
Firstly, people sometimes even prefer a confrontation or a fight rather than being ghosted or ignored. This is because a confrontation or fight at least gives one a reason behind the treatment. Being ignored leaves you without any justifications and there’s a lot of uncertainty surrounding it. And the human mind has always feared uncertainty. When being ignored feels so bitter and like a punishment, why is it done by almost everybody?
Read More: “I am Sorry!”, Why do People Over-apologize?
The Intent
You might have heard about the phrase “silent treatment”. Ignoring someone is exactly just that. Usually, people do this to convey a silent message. To let the other receiver understand what is wrong by saying nothing. This isn’t fruitful. It might create gaps and miscommunication in the relationship between the parties. It complicates the situation further. You are not addressing the problem when you ignore someone. This (Ignoring someone) then becomes a faulty or even unhealthy way of handling the problem or situation at hand.
What Goes Behind Ignoring Someone
When you ignore someone, it might suck out a lot of energy from you. You might feel guilty, you might be agitated and even require a lot of willpower. Your mind might constantly be on the fact that you have to ignore a certain person, not answer their texts, call them, or engage with them on social media. It’s a lot of work! This can be mentally exhausting.
Read More: 6 Reasons People Make False Accusations and How to Deal with It
You might have resorted to this stage of ignoring because it might be easier to just ignore than talk about the problem or issue at hand. The Reasons that You Think Are Justified for Ignoring Why go through all that trouble, when you can simply text and solve the issue? People always have excuses, which they think are rational justifications for ignoring someone. Once we start looking into these reasons with depth and a different perspective, you can understand why these are simple excuses.
1. You want your partner to know that you are mad.
When people are in a relationship, they often want their partner to know what they are feeling with their behaviours without even expressing it in words. Ignoring becomes the primary way of hoping that the partner recognizes and understands what you feel. This is a toxic and unrealized expectation to keep about other people.
This can turn into a very long wait. People who often find it arduous and troublesome to openly express what they are feeling employ unhealthy and perverse ways of coping. They find it difficult to be vulnerable and as a result resort to ignoring. In short, they want the problem and the issue to fix itself without them wanting to face it.
Read More: Why do Some Couples Baby Talk?
How to fix it? Communicate. One of the best ways to resolve uncertainty and problems in a relationship is to communicate about your feelings and issues. Let the other people know what is making you upset. It is also important to understand that your partner not knowing your feelings doesn’t mean that they don’t like you. Communication is always the key to success.
2. You are ignoring them because they ignored you.
You will get back what you do. This is something we all think is a justified enough reasoning. Ignoring someone might be a payback of sorts. You want the other person to go through the same thing you did when they ignored you. Consider this. You hated the feelings and thoughts that aroused when you were ignored. Do you want this to be a repeated cycle between yourself and the other person? Secondly, would you cheat on someone because they cheated on you? Cheating is wrong, you would rather deal with it in another way than do the same immoral thing.
Read More: Addressing the Motives & Factors Behind Cheating in Relationships
What if the person who ignored you went through difficult times? It’s better to address the situation directly. To say that you have been hurt by the behaviour and allow them to give you a reason for doing so. Sometimes, people don’t even grasp that they have ignored someone. Everyone has different habits. Having this conversation might open up the opportunity to share how you feel and what makes you feel loved and cared for.
3. You need time to let your anger calm down.
Anger is a vice that we all try to control. You might want to cool down because you think the anger might let you say and do things that you will regret. You might even do this because you think your anger will hurt the other person. What we are leaving out of the equation is the hurt the other person will feel when they are ignored by you. How to deal with it? Open communication and taking it out is always a must. Simply letting the other person know that you are taking some time for yourself and need space can work wonders. This might also allow you to set healthy boundaries with your relationships with others.
Read More: 10 Proven Ways for Anger Management
4. You think they don’t serve a reply back from you.
This thought and excuse often accompanies when you are upset or angry. Your anger might be justified but a silent treatment can often end up horribly. Additionally, when you are ignoring them, the anger can manifest into thoughts and arguments that you might want to use with them in a fight. Rather, it’s better to confront. To express how their behaviour made them angry and upset and let them know when they are at fault.
Read More: The Psychology Behind Manifestation
5. You are no longer invested in the relationship.
Whether it’s a friendship fading away or a relationship on its last thread, there might have been certain emotions and a lot of time invested in it. So breaking up a relationship can always be a stressful and heartbreaking occasion. You might be ignoring them because confronting the reality of the situation scares you. You don’t want to deal with the fallout that will occur when to break up and therefore you would rather ignore them and thereby your problems.
Read More: How to help a Friend in a Mental health Crisis?
This hurts both of the parties in the process. The emotional turmoil can make one mentally and physically weak. Ignoring reality is never healthy. It’s always better to rip the bandaid off. Leading someone on in a fruitless relationship can be traumatic. It’s better to deal with what the reality is rather than ignore it. Ignoring someone, no matter, what, is toxic and no reason can make it a justifiable excuse. Communication is always the key. Being aware of your feelings and communicating them can help you deal with a lot of problems that ignoring someone cannot solve.
References +
- https://medium.com/@amjadansh/top-5-reasons-why-do-people-ignore-someone-3b 03af0ac300
- https://www.thoughtco.com/why-we-really-ignore-each-other-in-public-3026376
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/auto-pilot-manual-override/202107/why-being-ignored-hurts-so-much
- https://discover.hubpages.com/politics/Reasons-Why-People-Choose-to-Ignore-Others
- https://kletische.com/why-silence-is-a-perfect-mental-warfare-tool-ghost-ignore-others/
Leave feedback about this