What is the Romeo-Juliet effect?

All of us are very well aware of who Romeo and Juliet are. Of course, they are forever deemed the people who attained the epitome of love and adoration. We may even gift the most adored couple in your whereabouts the title of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy authored by William Shakespeare about the romance between two individuals in feuding Italian families. It was one of Shakespeare’s most popular plays during his lifetime, and it is still produced often now, alongside Hamlet. Today, the titular couple are regarded as quintessential young lovers.

But how many of us know that there exists a psychological phenomenon under the same name? Yes, and it is rightly termed the Romeo-Juliet effect. American Psychological Association dictionary defines the Romeo-Juliet effect as the tendency of relationship partners, usually adolescents, to feel more fondness for their partners when they believe others (e.g., parents) are interfering with the connection. This may sound like a very common happening in many households with adolescents around the world.

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However, psychology has termed it as a phenomenon that comes with its own assorted set of causal factors and consequences. The term “Romeo Juliet effect” was coined by British actor and Director Richard Driscoll and it certainly gets its name from the relationship between the 2 young protagonists in the 16th century play written and directed by William Shakespeare which goes by the same name. In this famous drama by England’s renowned playwright and poet, the protagonists’ families were vehemently opposed to their union.

Keep in mind that Richard Driscoll was the first author to coin the Romeo and Juliet effect. He did so in his research paper, implying that the impact is grounded in reality. The idea is further based on the psychological concept of reactance, a phenomenon where threatening or restricting the freedom of an individual to engage in something or acquire something, causes them to engage in them or achieve them more frequently.

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In such situations, it is a known truth that adversity frequently feeds the flame. Many people refer to this strange phenomenon as frustration-attraction, while others call it the Romeo and Juliet effect. Social or physical constraints fuel romantic desire. They allow one to disregard the realities and focus on the other’s outstanding traits. Even fights or brief separations can be exciting.

In much simpler language, as someone’s loved one or even their feeling of love is found slipping away from their lives due to no reason of theirs, the very hormones and chemicals that cause these feelings in an individual, grow absolutely strong and potent enough to induce anger, more passion and even anxiety about future of their relationship. As the adversity intensifies or as the obstacles in their way to achieving their forever story multiply in number, the passion and affection that they have towards that special individual in their lives also increase manifold.

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Research about the effect

There exists a plethora of researches that provide scientific evidence for the existence of the phenomenon and its apparent effects on the attitudes of individuals towards their romantic relationships. For example, one study discovered that pairs of opposite-sex strangers who surreptitiously played footsie beneath a table were more attracted to each other than those who played footsie in full view of their tablemates or did not play at all.

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In 1972, Driscoll, Davis, and Lipetz discovered that parental influence in adult committed relationships or marriages was associated with higher levels of love and commitment. However, just as Romeo and Juliet’s love was ephemeral, so too may the Romeo and Juliet effect be. Romeo and Juliet were barely together for a few days before their deaths. According to research, if they had lived longer, their relationship would most likely have deteriorated. These researchers noted that the Romeo and Juliet effect arises in brief periods and then fades. People’s sentiments of love are frequently fleeting, lasting only a few weeks or months. After that, they start to fade and don’t last for long. However, multiple researchers have also found that the effect could also be deemed incorrect.

Most study participants report that high levels of interference or poor family acceptance reduce the quality of their relationships. So, how do our parents influence our relationships? Research on the relationship between parental approval and relationship satisfaction discovered that good support networks improve relationship satisfaction, particularly among women.

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Culture and the effect

So, what part does culture play in all this? Does culture become an important causal factor in inducing the effect in individuals? Researchers find that the different types of cultures in which individuals are nourished and nurtured often dictate the presence of this effect while they engage in romantic relationships. Cultures are divided into 2 major types based on their structural dynamics- individualistic and collectivistic. Individualistic societies are those where the social structures and institutions revolve around the individual and individuals are nurtured and taught to make decisions based on their ambitions, talents, needs and wishes.

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Most of the European and North American nations are individualistic societies and weigh individuals more than social groups. Collectivistic societies, on the other hand, are those wherein social structures revolve around the designated social groups in the society and individuals are nurtured and taught to make decisions based on the needs of the social group they belong to. Countries like India, Indonesia, Japan, China and many other Asian countries follow collectivism.

Individualist mothers and fathers are more likely to approve of their children’s significant others, even if they have doubts about them. People from collectivist cultures do not readily gain parental approval, and their parents have a greater influence over who they date or marry. Typically, these parents have had an early influence on their children’s significant others. If they do not receive that early input, they express their dissatisfaction by rejecting the match because they desire a connection for their child that aligns with the family’s ideals.

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In truth, arranged marriages are rather popular in Asia and the Middle East, where collectivist societies prevail. More often than not, researchers have concluded that the Romeo-Juliet effect is present in collectivistic societies and is often a very rare sight in individualistic societies. Romeo and Juliet were unsuccessful in earning their parents’ approval about their significant other and although this indeed brought them closer to each other, it also brought them closer to the end of their lives.

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Thus, no matter how individualistic a society may be, our parents may have an implicit or explicit impact on who we choose to be our “other half.” It may not always be a direct disapproval or a call off of the wedding induced by one’s parents, but rather the very simple fact that sometimes, with no fault of anyone, people could cause inconsistencies within the family harmony through even mere differences of opinion.