Many a times we find it hard to say no to people on their faces. We feel that it is important to maintain better relationships with people, irrespective of the cost it might extract from us. But how important it is? Are we trying to please people for the sake of maintaining relationships? It is necessary to understand that we struggle with a ‘no’ concept to fit in the box and to grab the chance of being loved and accepted by others. It is our inner insecurities and anxieties that go on to stop us from saying ‘NO’ to a person. Initially, it is discomforting to turn down a person. But once you start doing so, it gives you a feel-good feeling from the inside. No is an obvious choice one can make for their selves. It is a strong affirmative statement for oneself. It means that one respects his or her selection, and no one can take an undue benefit from the other person without his or her permission. Often saying a no is considered as being rude or is not accepted nicely within the larger confines of society. Apart from declining one’s request with aggression, we must learn how to say no gracefully without feeling regretful about the decision. If we look at the word no, it is a small and simple one, but yet persuasive and strong. It appears to be egoistic but is a firm, little word from the outside.
Why saying a ‘No’ is essential?
Saying no is a way of showing respect to yourself. It means that you prioritize yourself. Saying a no doesn’t mean that you are selfish. It means that you value yourself, and at the same time care for your self-respect. It means that you have clarity of your own choices and you can stand on your firm ground when needed.
It is a righteous practice: The custom of saying no is never self-serving. It means that you believe in something and that you have set boundaries and principles for yourself. Instead of an instant answer and regretting it later on, it is always better to take a deep breath and practice the art of saying no politely. In the present day FOMO (fear of missing out) culture, we are living under the constant pressure of our peers and elders of saying yes to everything to please others by not even realizing how difficult we are making things for us. So instead of pretending to be happy, we can be more authentic to ourselves by just checking what we want, and by putting some strategic schemes to the practice and art of saying no.
It is valuing yourself: Often, we find it hard to turn down our close ones. We feel that our relationships can be worst affected. And also, sometimes people find it hard to say no because they are more worried about people’s opinions about them. Such a thing happens when we don’t love ourselves that well, or when we aren’t sure or confident about our life choices. We care about other’s sentiments rather than our own. So it is indeed very essential to first take care of the self, and then worry about what other people are thinking about you if you turn them down. Putting yourself in the first place is not a sinful act, but rather an act of honor. Many people fail to understand this simple thing, and they lack the realization that if a decision taken is not concrete and definite, it is no way going to give you that bonus point.
It is an opportunity: Have we ever thought it in a way that declining something can create a chance, or it might open up a direction towards ten other different things in life. When we say no to something, it means that you have some other things in mind, and that indicates it’s a yes for that other thing in the same way. If you decline a friend’s proposal for a hangout and want to spend time with yourself, even that can act as an opportunity.
It gives you the ability to make decisions: When you say no to things, it is giving you the power to make choices for yourself. It means you became capable enough to stay firm with your selections and preferences.
When we say no, it means that we are making our lives less complicated and tension-free. A firm no can free us from all the obligations we intricate.
Conclusion :
“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” ~ Tony Blair.
The above quote has been rightly stated by the former British Prime minister and has been held with great conviction by the Times Magazine. The idea has also been shared by famous personalities like the super-investor Warren Buffet and the tech-lord Steve Jobs. It is said that the difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people know the priceless value of ‘No.’ They certainly wouldn’t compromise for a ‘YES’, but would passionately hold on to a ‘NO’ whenever allowed to do so. Nevertheless, with the power of a no, we can concentrate on the energy drives or forces that eventually will help us to live a rich life full of health and wealth. We must always remember that this is our life. So there is no need to prove anything to anyone or be in the cages or confines of a ‘YES’. It always helps us in making ourselves the extraordinary individual that we had always thrived to become. It also assists us in realizing who we are. Lastly it helps us in creating a meaningful and purposeful life. It gives us the freedom to live freely and become extremely efficient, productive, and content individuals that we had aspired to become in our own eyes.
