The Psychology Behind the Silent Treatment

Silent treatment is a frame of passionate mishandling where one individual denies communicating with another. This gesture can beget confusion, stress, and emotional pain. Understanding the psychology behind the silent treatment can help you feel it, address it, and ease your connections.

According to Clinical Psychologist Kripanidh Kaur, “The silent treatment is more than just silence! It speaks volumes and can be a heavy emotional burden in any relationship. As humans we crave care, connection and comfort but silent treatment just fails to satisfy these longings. Its reflects total emotional abandonment. It is not a boundary. Its a tactic! And that too a manipulative tactic to elicit engagement through the use of silence. It is not about taking space. Taking space involves direct communication that a little time off is needed. But in silent treatment the intention is to hurt the other person with their silence. Its a coercive controlling behaviour, a form of emotional abuse. And this just creates internal chaos and low self esteem for anybody who is at the receiving end of this problematic silence. It makes the victim hyper-vigilant to micro expressions and always on alert for any changes in communications. It is often accompanied by gaslighting. If the victim reacts with own frustration, then the whole focus of the problem shifts and one is just left confused or wondering if they really are the problem! Experiencing all this as an adult is even more worrisome because of the added pressure of , ‘oh! I am an adult! How can i be so affected by just – silence !?'”

What is Silent Treatment?

The silent treatment occurs when someone intentionally ignores or refuses to speak to another person. This can be in any relationship, whether it’s between romantic mates, musketeers, family members, or associates. The silent treatment is frequently unresistant-aggressive and is constantly used to control the other person.

Why Do People Use Silent Treatment?

People use the silent treatment for a variety of reasons. Then are some common motives

• Power and Control: By refusing to communicate, the person using silent treatment gains a sense of power and control over the other person. This can make the victim feel helpless and anxious.
• Avoiding Conflict: Some people use the silent treatment to avoid defying delicate issues. Rather than agitating the problem, they choose silence.
• Discipline: The silent treatment can be a form of discipline, making the other person feel shamed or unworthy.
• Emotional Overwhelm: Occasionally, people use the silent treatment because they feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to express their passions.

The Cerebral Impact of the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment can have serious cerebral goods on the person entering it. These are some of the impacts

• Emotional Pain: Being ignored can beget deep emotional pain and passion for rejection.
• Anxiety and Stress: The query and lack of communication can lead to anxiety and stress.
• Lowered tone-regard: The silent treatment can make the victim feel unworthy and question their worth.
• Confusion: The lack of communication can lead to confusion and distress about the relationship.

How to Address the Silent Treatment

Addressing the silent treatment requires understanding and effective communication. 

• Stay Calm: It’s important to remain calm and not reply negatively to the silent treatment.
• Responding: worthlessness or frustration can trigger the situation.
• Initiate Communication: Try to start a discussion with the person using silent treatment. Express your passions calmly and easily.
• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about respectability in your relationship. Let the person know that silent treatment isn’t a respectable way to handle conflicts.
• Seek Help: If the silent treatment continues or is causing significant emotional pain, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor.
• Tone-Care: Take care of your emotional well-being. Engage in conditioning that makes you feel good and helps you manage stress.

Causes and Reasons for Silent Treatment:

• Emotional Regulation and Avoidance: A person’s emotions can affect their environment, causing anxiety and fear. This can increase loneliness and lead to avoidance in their personal life.
• Lack of Communication: When someone stops communicating with both loved ones and strangers, it becomes difficult to maintain good relationships.
• Past Experiences: Their past experiences of triggering events have caused them to start using silent treatment, affecting their behaviour.
• Manipulation and Punishment: Manipulation and punishment are all about in-between relationships effect through nature which causes a cold effect of not speaking to each other.

 How to respond to silent treatment : 

• Stay patience 
• Express your feelings and speak out 
• Give space and time for the other to know more 
• Being silent at the appropriate time
• Avoid escaping from situations 
•  Seeking help 
• Focus on self–assessment and care 

Examples of Handling the Silent Treatment

• Example 1 If your mate is giving you the silent treatment, you might say, “I feel hurt and confused when you ignore me. Can we please talk about what’s bothering you?”

• Example 2 If a friend is using the silent treatment, you might say, “I value our fellowship and would like to resolve any issues. Can we bandy what’s going on?”

• Example 3 If a colleague is giving you the silent treatment, you might say, “I notice we have not been communicating well lately. Let’s find a way to work through this together.” 
• Example 4 if your parents are giving you the silent treatment, you might say, “I feel distress when you two are taking with me. Can we talk about the issue?”

Take Away

The silent treatment is dangerous and can damage connections and beget significant emotional torture. Understanding its cerebral roots and learning how to address it can help you make healthier and further communicative connections. Effective communication and setting boundaries are pivotal in precluding and dealing with the silent treatment. By fetching the signs and taking a visionary way, you can ameliorate your connections and ensure they’re grounded on collective respect and understanding.

FAQs

1. Is the silent treatment considered emotional abuse?

Yes, silent treatment can be considered a form of emotional abuse because it causes emotional pain and torture.

2. How long does the silent treatment generally last?

The duration of the silent treatment varies. It can last from many hours to several days or indeed longer, depending on the person and the situation.

3. Can the silent treatment ever be justified?

While it’s important to take time to cool off after a conflict, dragged silent treatment isn’t a healthy way to handle dissensions. Effective communication is crucial to resolving issues.

4. How can I help the silent treatment in my connections?

Precluding the silent treatment involves open communication, setting clear boundaries, and addressing conflicts directly. Encourage healthy ways of expressing passions.

5. What if the silent treatment becomes a pattern in my relationship?

If the silent treatment becomes a recreating pattern, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor to address the underpinning issues.