The Psychology Behind Rebellious Personality 

Society views rebels or rebellious as people who wear leather jackets and ripped jeans and break the rules or someone who has brightly coloured hair, unusual hairstyles and tattoos or piercings. However, this particular perception is stereotypical and surface-level and does not take a deeper look into the personality of rebels. Some people made famous innovations or discoveries by going against the norm and exercising their creative ideas.

The most typical example is of Steve Jobs and Madonna. Both of these strong, bold and creative personalities went against the conventional, orthodox ideas and pursued their paths, directing their energies into building and creating change in their respective fields. 

What is Rebelliousness? 

Research conducted by Balswick and Macrides (1975) asked 400 college students whether they felt rebellious towards their parents or authority figures when they were teens. Almost 80% of the population answered that they had felt extremely rebellious as teens. Adolescence is the time when children are discovering their identities and trying to figure out who they are concerning their environment and circumstances. The environment itself poses a lot of challenges in various areas of their lives, for example, there are varying demands at school, home and with peers. With the biological changes and environmental demands, it is natural for children to possess feelings of rebellion, opposition and cynicism. 

In adolescence, children often aim to attain independence from their parents and want to develop their separate sense of self. This is a stage of identity exploration and experimentation that involves children discovering their own set of values and beliefs. Developmental Psychologist, Erik Erikson, conceptualized this as identity vs. role confusion.

Children must be provided with the freedom and liberty to test out their different identities and find their place in the world.  If it so happens that the parents are autocratic and their attitude is “My way or the highway” children may end up being dependent on the parents. The child may be unsure of where they fit in society and fail to develop a stable sense of self. There will be a dependence on the parents for thought and action alike. 

The Independence Conflict 

Adolescence is a complicated stage of a child’s life because the child tries to assume adult responsibilities however, at the same time, they enjoy the dependence they have on their parents. They want to become independent in their thinking and identity while still needing the security their parents provide. To achieve this independence, they must distance themselves from parental control and make their own decisions. The key is balancing their need for security with their journey of self-discovery and finding inner peace.

Additionally, the parents also play a role in this complication because they no longer treat them as children while the child is expected to obey their authority. According to the parents, they have outgrown their childish whims and the transition to adulthood is withheld.

They are stuck at this ambivalent stage where the adults in the environment expect the child to know better but at the same time, they express their indifference to the opinion of the child and regard him as immature. Thus, advisors recommend that parents let the child break away and figure out their way. The child needs to look after their well-being and discover components or parts of himself.

Parents must provide their children with the opportunity for a private, personal life where they can decide things for themselves and bear the consequences that follow. So, the child instils the component of responsibility by taking up responsibility for their actions while balancing the expectations and needs of those around them. Freedom comes with a sense of responsibility that can’t be defied if one wants to develop a healthy sense of self. 

The forming of a Rebellious

When parents deny children the irresponsibility of childhood but still expect them to fulfil adult obligations, it fosters a rebellious attitude. Parents wish to exert dominance and power over their children by forcing their own opinions and ideas on them. They possess the child and prevent him from developing into an adult due to which the child feels isolated and tied up. The child goes through conflicting experiences due to the inconsistencies of the parent in treating him. The inner conflict revolves around the acceptance of individual identity, while the outer conflict arises from the ambivalent treatment of the child by the parents. 

It is normal for children to feel an estrangement from their parents where they are unable to discuss important aspects of their life or any matters of interest. The children feel that the parents lack interest and respect for them as individuals. The parents either burden the child with a lot of restrictions or leave them to grow due to neglect. The parent-child relationship exhibits mistrust and lack of respect due to the parent’s authoritarian and controlling nature. Due to this children are reluctant to incorporate any valuable guidance that they receive from the parents. Disagreements and misunderstandings often characterize the relationship.

The Over-Criticized Child

A child characterizes their reaction to their parents’ rejection or disapproval of them with acts of rebellion. If during adolescence the parents are overly critical and controlling, defining everything for the child and having the child rigidly follow all of their rules and impositions, the child will retaliate with aggressiveness and hostility to reclaim their pride and dignity. 

Because the child is discovering itself at this developmental stage, society considers a certain extent of rebellious nature healthy. However, if the rebelliousness persists and reaches an excessive stage where the child engages in self-damaging activities, this may hamper their healthy development. A child may engage in activities such as skipping school, refusing to complete schoolwork, joining gangs, being influenced by bold, unfearing peers to perform risky activities, experimenting with drugs, smoking cannabis, destroying public property, committing theft, and engaging in sexual promiscuity.

Rebellious behaviour like the ones stated above is a reflection of a child’s psychic injuries that the now adult is trying to fix in this form. Instead of recognizing what has been broken inside, the child aggressively reacts to the pain and either internalize it in the form of self-sabotaging behaviours or externalizes it into society by breaking societal rules and defying authority. 

The parents usually don’t have malicious intent to abuse the child, however, it is generational trauma that shapes their parenting style. Parents believe that they are setting high standards for their child’s future and present welfare. Their constant criticism is considered to be constructive to make sure that the child doesn’t repeat their mistakes and behave in ways that their parents did which affected their growth. 

The parent’s behaviour can be considered a projection of their pain and shame onto the child, to reaffirm that the child is on the right path. Instead of it becoming a lesson for the child, a message is perceived by him that he is not good enough and that there is something wrong with him and he will never be able to rise above the expectations of the parents. When parental praise and affection are based on the child’s correct behaviours, such conditional love leaves him feeling rejected, hopeless and abandoned because their affection seems unattainable. 

The Positives of Being a Rebellious

Rebels usually get a bad reputation for their defiant and non-conforming behaviours in society, however, it is important to highlight that despite these negative behaviours, there are qualities that make them stand out. Rebels are:

• They aren’t afraid to tell the boss he/she is wrong 
• Disruptors and innovators who present bold solutions that people weren’t thinking of
• There is an originality in their thinking which helps to bring change or discover innovations.
• They are courageous in the face of opposition and aren’t afraid to stand their ground which makes them great leaders. 
• They have well-established values since they question everything that is imposed on them and usually form their own set of them. 
• Rebels are enthusiastic, passionate, empathetic, trustworthy and charismatic which helps them develop strong networks with others. 
• They usually have ideas about the next big thing and turn their ideas into reality very quickly. Thinking about good ideas and following up on them is like a mental exercise for them. 
• They always come up with unconventional ways to do things and rebel against rigid ideas. In this way, they are open-minded and open to new experiences and ways of doing things that may not be perceived well by society. 

No matter how much a child rebels or rebellious against their families, it cannot nullify the self-doubt implanted into them by their parents’ derogatory comments. The child may display an “I don’t care” attitude and may put up a persona that never bothered them, but at an unconscious level, they internalized the messages that the parents were sending them. These individuals when they grow up have a hard time forming interpersonal relationships and are vulnerable to self-doubts that no amount of achievement or wealth can improve. 

Thus, for the rebel child to overcome their pain they must access and experience it instead of avoiding it. A therapist may help them grieve their childhood and the negative parental remarks to overcome the emptiness that they feel. The internalized anger also has to find expression in healthy forms so that they can develop as confident and self-assuring beings.