The Psychology Behind Confidence

Confidence is one of the most crucial aspects of a person’s life, personally and professionally. This characteristic is not something that is innate but can be acquired over time. You gain it with experience and nurture and cultivate it over time. Some people think that when they succeed, they will just keep succeeding, and if they fail, it is all over. People who find the balance between these without turning arrogant when they are successful or feeling completely powerless when they fail are the confident ones. It is not something that is just in your head, it changes with different personality traits, characteristics, moods, and how one perceives different situations.

Confidence can be defined as one’s belief in themselves, their abilities, qualities, and control over favorable outcomes. It leads a person to live a more fulfilling and empowered life, while also maintaining their self-esteem. While self-esteem and self-confidence are often used as interchangeable terms, self-esteem is a person’s overall belief in themselves and their capabilities, self-confidence is belief in one; ‘s ability, usually regarding a specific task. Confidence helps a person to put extra effort into something they believe. It makes them think outside the box and achieve something by going beyond their limits. 

self-esteem is a person’s overall belief in themselves and their capabilities, self-confidence is belief in one's ability, usually regarding a specific task.

Bandura’s Self Efficacy

In 1977, Albert Bandura first proposed the idea of self-efficacy. According to his theory, there are two factors of behavior – perceived self-efficacy and outcome expectancies.

• Perceived Self-Efficacy – It is a belief in oneself and their capabilities to achieve what one wants. People with a high perceived self-efficacy aim higher and have higher levels of motivation, resilience, and flexibility. Moreover, they are hard workers and are less anxious about achieving their goals. 
• Outcome Expectancies – We evaluate our experiences based on our performances. If we succeed, we feel that we are likely to succeed again at the same or similar tasks. It encourages practice and gaining mastery over a task. It provides genuine evidence of what one can or cannot do. 

Strategies to Build Confidence

As mentioned previously, confidence is not an innate quality but it is something that one can develop over time with practice and dedication. There are various strategies that can be incorporated in everyday routine. 

Set Realistic Goals

Various people say that setting realistic goals is a sign of mediocrity. It might not be accurate. It could be perceived as a sign of self-care. When you set unrealistic goals, you may be setting yourself up for failure. that further leads to demotivation. Breaking down a larger goal into smaller and more achievable goals can help to learn new skills and move towards your goal without getting overwhelmed. Moreover, it leads to enhanced time management skills and improves focus since you concentrate on a specific task only. It is also crucial that you celebrate these small achievements along the way. 

Be Self Compassionate

Do not be very hard on yourself, and treat yourself in a self-compassionate manner. Failures are a part of life, and dealing with them effectively is very essential to keep the motivation for achieving your goal. Treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend going through a similar thing. Doing this puts any situation into the right perspective. Bouncing back from adversities is an integral part of being confident. View failures as learning opportunities and develop your skills. When you start to learn from failures, it contributes to your overall development.

Read More: Choose Self-compassion

Foster a Growth Mindset

Actively look for opportunities where you can learn new skills and enhance existing ones. Identify the additional skills you need to gain to achieve your goals. View challenges and setbacks as growth opportunities rather than being demotivated by them. Believe in your abilities. Be open to constructive criticism, and do not take it to heart. Focus on the things you can alter for your betterment. Developing self-compassion is also an essential factor here. Learn from other people’s successes and failures as well, and do not hesitate to reach out for help. Allow yourself to take risks, as they are great learning opportunities.

Positive Comparison

Comparison is often viewed negatively, but positive comparison can lead to significant insight and improvement. It is when one compares themselves to someone but does not get totally absorbed in it. It is done simply with the purpose of growth and progress. Upward comparison is done with people you think are superior to you. Appropriate amounts lead to motivation and drive, but excessive amounts of it lead to jealousy, envy, and hatred. Downward comparison is done with someone whose achievements you consider lesser than yours. It makes you feel thankful for what you have and ensures that you are on the right path. When it gets excessive, it might lead to laziness and overconfidence. 

Comparing oneself unrestricted leads to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, ultimately hampering confidence. One of the best ways to boost confidence is through constructive comparison.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

When you create boundaries with people and how you wish to be treated, you gain control of yourself and your life. This control gives you the self-confidence to make your decisions and own up to them. Clear your expectations from people around you and ensure that they know what you are willing or unwilling to do. Speak up when you feel that your boundaries are being crossed, and learn to say ‘no’ whenever and wherever required or if you are asked something you are not comfortable with. Establishing healthy boundaries also gives you a sense of psychological safety. Beware of unhealthy boundaries, as they can hamper your interpersonal relationships. 

Focus on Physical Health 

By now, we are well aware that physical and mental health go hand-in-hand. While confidence is a state of mind, it is significantly influenced by the way you perceive your body. It includes eating a balanced meal, exercising regularly, getting adequate sleep, and practicing mindfulness. These factors keep both your body and your mind healthy, making you feel more confident. You feel good about yourself and make the correct choices when you take good care of your body. Take some out of your busy schedule for self-care and daily walks. 

Surround Yourself With Good Company

Human beings are social animals and therefore, are easily persuaded by other members of their social circle. Hence, people around you must be positive and possess a growth mindset. Having critical people around you also significantly lowers your self-esteem, therefore reflecting your confidence. When you are feeling low, you need a reminder that this is just a phase and things will improve. This is usually done by a close person or a well-wisher. 

Observe wisely who among the people around you makes you feel good and who makes you feel inadequate. Establish boundaries, reduce contact, or completely eliminate these people from your life. This will have a major positive impact on your mental health.

Remember that your mind listens to you and registers that information as the truth.

Engage in Positive Self-Talk

When you talk yourself down like ‘I am not cut out for this’ or ‘I have failed too many times’, you are lowering your confidence. Try reframing these negative thoughts by positive self-talk like ‘I will work hard enough to achieve this’ or ‘My past failure has taught me how to deal with obstacles. I can do it now.’  These thoughts play a role in erasing your self-doubt and boosting your confidence in the process. It is crucial to reframe the negative self-talk to keep yourself motivated and to work towards your goal.

Act Confidently

Visualize your success. Doing this makes you feel more confident. Moreover, engaging in activities that will make you feel confident is essential. These activities could be going to a new place, meeting new people, going to the movies alone, or gaining a new skill. Even a slight change in your body language, voice modulation, or posture makes a significant difference. Although, it is important to remember here that you do not cross the boundary. Do not appear overconfident or arrogant. Doing so might hamper your interpersonal connections, and people may not be too eager to make contact with you.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

While it is easier said than done, it is necessary to sometimes do things that make you uncomfortable. Other than boosting your confidence, it also helps you in learning a new skill. Ensure that you do not step that boundary too much, as it might hurt you. If you are afraid of snakes, you don’t directly pet a snake. Rather, you start by seeing a picture of it, then move towards looking at it from afar, and finally, you get comfortable with it being in your close vicinity. Similarly, start small and gradually move upwards, but don’t overstep your boundaries.

Confidence and Leadership

Leadership is one of those aspects where confidence becomes salient. Charismatic qualities are required from a person to be accepted as a leader. These qualities include drive, enthusiasm, vision, and more. One of those significant qualities is self-confidence. They are very confident in their abilities and qualities to achieve a particular goal. It involves being confident in a non-boastful manner. A leader is supposed to help everyone out, treat everyone (including themselves) equally, and maintain harmony within their group. It is crucial to possess social intelligence for these qualities.

Read More: Signs You are Born to be a Leader, According to Psychology 

The Five Cs of Confident Leadership

How can a leader manage the weight of all the responsibilities and still be there for their team as much as required? These 5Cs help to clarify all the qualities of a confident leader.

Communication

Communication is the fundamental aspect of a leadership role. People in your team or group should trust you and be able to share relevant things with you without hesitation. A leader must focus on their communication style under high pressure. Do they get aggressive? Hyper fixated? Erracti? Withdrawn? All these might contribute to an ineffective communication style. Learn to address your team rationally when there is pressure and ensure that they understand the matter. Improving communication will help to emanate confidence in the face of adversity.

Community

While leaders are always expected to be strong and unflappable in the face of adversity, they have their weak moments too. To not feel alone in situations like these, one must establish a sense of community within the team. It leads to professional advancement. Leadership is not about dictating or ordering people what to do, but an individual can effectively cooperate and collaborate with people to achieve a common goal. Hear out all the ideas and consider them mindfully. Create a warm and supportive environment for the team, and they will pay you back with the same. 

Clarity

A leader must have a thorough understanding of both short- and long-term objectives. If you are leading a team, you should know where you are going. This clarity includes reaction to sudden changes, reframing setbacks and failures, handling change and stress within the team, and preparing the team for crisis and challenges.

Connection

It is the connection between your mindset and realities. It includes environmental awareness as well as emotional awareness. Embracing this connection enhances your decision-making and keeps you grounded. Address if there are any unmet needs, psychological or physical. Additionally, have open communication with all the members of your team and remind them that your door is always open. Stay committed and recognize unbalanced feelings. Develop effective coping mechanisms. Moreover, develop empathy and compassion so that other people feel seen and heard. It also promotes a sense of belonging among the team where they can rely on each other for help and guidance.

Courage

A leader is expected to act even in the face of fear and adversity. Courage is very helpful in building confidence. When you face an uncertain situation effectively, it boosts your confidence enormously. Notice your reactions to conflict and alter them if they are ineffective and make you react poorly. Your team is going to look up to you for everything and hence you need to stand strong in conflicting situations.

The Pitfalls of Overconfidence

Everything in moderation is beneficial. It starts to affect various areas of your life when things begin to get out of control. Excessive confidence leads to arrogance, which hampers your relationship with your acquaintances as well as with your loved ones. Overconfidence can lead to numerous faulty behavioral patterns that can affect your attitude, behavior, and skills negatively while making you lose sight of your ultimate goal. These behavioral indicators could include

Considering Oneself Superior

Overconfident people often disregard others as less worthy and are very dismissive of their feelings. They do not take advice from anyone and do not consider anyone;s opinions worthy. Moreover, people also start viewing that person as boastful and someone not worth talking to. It strains a person’s social relationships significantly. Arrogance can alienate an individual from the group.

Dismissing Constructive Criticism

Arrogant and overconfident people do not value other people’s opinions and think that they know best. Incorporating constructive criticism is one of the most effective ways to learn from your mistakes and enhance your skills. This behavior leads to stagnation, slowing or completely stopping personal and professional growth.

Underestimating Complexities

As we have seen previously, it is effective to break bigger goals into smaller, more achievable ones to maintain morale and motivation. Overconfident people tend to underestimate challenges and risks. They feel like they are prepared for everything, but that is not true. It might eventually lead to failure.

Taking Up More Than They Can Handle

Overconfident people might engage in more risky behaviors believing that they can ‘handle’ it. This can involve financial investments, personal and professional goals, etc. This recklessness is a result of unrealistic belief in oneself and arrogance. This overconfidence can ultimately lead to failure and put them in danger.

Conclusion

Confidence is one of the most essential factors in a person’s life and can be defined as one’s belief in themselves, their abilities, qualities, and control over favorable outcomes. It is not an innate or hereditary quality. It can be acquired through continuous effort and hard work. There are various ways to build confidence, like fostering a growth mindset, engaging in positive self-talk, having mutually trustworthy relationships, setting realistic goals, establishing healthy boundaries with people around you, and more. Confidence is a very crucial aspect of leadership. Everyone looks up to a leader, and therefore, they need to be confident in their decision-making skills and rely on their wisdom in the face of adversity. Moreover, there are various pitfalls of overconfidence that occur when one considers themselves superior, underestimates complexities and dismisses constructive criticism. Confidence, in the right amount, is the key to success and self-actualization.

FAQs

1. How are Confidence and arrogance different?

Confidence is a realistic belief in one’s abilities and qualities about a particular situation. Arrogance, on the other hand, makes one think that they know everything and they do not need other people to teach them anything. Arrogance is a negative trait, while confidence contributes positively to overall growth.

2. Is it possible to boost self-confidence quickly?

There is no quick fix for building self-confidence. One needs to practice this trait religiously to observe its long-term effects. However, positive self-talk and visualizing success might help a little. 

3. How to not fall into the trap of overconfidence?

Practice meditation and mindfulness to stay grounded. Acknowledge that there is always a scope for learning for everyone, and you can always be a better version of yourself. Be open to constructive criticism, and do not be afraid to ask for help. Develop self-awareness and learn from your past mistakes.