Therapy is often a powerful, liberating experience for those who can embrace the process. But getting therapy for the first time can be uncomfortable or even quite confronting. All mental health professionals, from seasoned counsellors to those studying a Master of Mental Health Nursing, understand how difficult it can be to seek help and begin treatment.
Before getting therapy, many people haven’t been in situations where they choose to be emotionally vulnerable with a stranger, and the idea of sharing such personal information can be daunting. If you’re considering therapy, or have booked yourself in for your first session and are feeling this way, don’t worry — it’s a normal feeling. While it’s often scary, you shouldn’t let this put you off; therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool. In this article, we’ll go through six things to keep in mind before your first appointment.
1. It’s Might Not Be What You Think
There’s a good chance that the worry you feel about therapy is based on movies, or older practices that likely aren’t realistic anymore. The psychoanalysis of the past, where you essentially pay someone to try to hack into your brain and unearth the supposed underlying repressed memories you’ve swept under the rug in order to get on with life, is thought of these days as both largely unhelpful and even borderline unethical. You’re not going to be mind-ninja’d or hypnotised. Therapy will be tailored to your individual needs and desires.
2. It’s About You and What You Want
These days, therapy is usually a much more transparent, cooperative experience that is designed from the ground up to help you address the issues you want to work on. That’s right — therapy isn’t necessarily about someone else reading between the lines on everything you say so they can figure out what’s wrong with you. Your therapist is there to help you work on whatever it is you want to work on together. They can obviously make suggestions, and it’s important to remember that their advice comes from a professional point of view, but at the end of the day, you don’t have to do or say anything you don’t want to.
3. Comfort is Key
Therapists can’t do or force you into anything without your consent, and frankly, your help. Nobody can read minds, and it’s not uncommon for first-timers to feel a bit guarded or even defensive when approaching therapy for the first time. That doesn’t mean you should feel guilty if it’s difficult to express yourself or be forthcoming about what you want to get out of your time in therapy, but it’s good to remember that you don’t have to spill your whole personal history all at once. It’s important to go at a pace that you’re comfortable with.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Go Deep
With that said, if you do have things from your past that you need help processing, your therapist will surely be ready to help you work through trauma, uncertainty, or unresolved inner conflict of any kind. Remember that that is what they’re there for — nothing is too big or too small. What matters is that you know where your comfort zone lies, and don’t feel pressured to go beyond it.
5. Be Prepared
As a general rule, it’s good to have a clear idea of what you want to get out of your therapy, and to come prepared with a few things to talk about. The best place to start might be different for everyone; if you actually have something from your past in mind that you need to get off your chest, or need help working through, you may want to dive right in. But if you tend to have trouble opening up, it might be easier to verbalise how you’ve been feeling lately or what you’ve been struggling with, and use that as a springboard to work through whatever past experiences you might have.
Maybe you have a specific problem you need help with. Maybe you’re having trouble resolving things with a partner, or there’s a boss or coworker who you have a hard time getting along with. There may be a particularly stressful event you’re dealing with, like the loss of a loved one, or another major change in your life, like a major move to a new town or city. Whatever it is, if you can bring a clear problem to your therapist that you need help solving, it will not only help focus your session, but it may also help reduce anxiety. Remember that you don’t have to have a defined problem to go to therapy though, sometimes it’s just about discussing what’s on your mind.
6. Be Gentle With Yourself
Whatever it is you need help with, remember that you’re doing this to help yourself cope with a particular struggle you’re having, and that means you should be just as patient with yourself as your counsellor is. While you should be prepared to do some work, to learn new skills and coping mechanisms, and maybe even hear some things that might be difficult to accept, you should also be prepared to forgive yourself, and others.
At the end of the day, the point of therapy is to heal, and to improve your quality of life. As long as you keep this in mind, and can learn to relax and trust your therapist, you will likely find therapy a positive, useful experience!
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