Why Self-Discipline is the Real Secret to Success, According to Psychology

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.

Napoleon Hill

Success is often attributed to hard work, perseverance and even luck, but we never talk about the self-discipline that goes into achieving the goal, however small it might be. Discipline is a trait that is often viewed along with punctuality. Punctuality, however, is one of the many traits of a person with self-discipline. Self-discipline can be described as the ability of an individual to be able to effectively regulate their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. 

Read More: 10 Reasons People Struggle with Self-Discipline, According to Psychologist

Self-discipline is all about not falling for short-term gratification and focusing on the long-term goal. Unlike motivation, which is fleeting, as in, it comes and goes, self-discipline is persistent throughout. It is not just having the determination to achieve a goal but also not giving up in the face of adversity. There will be hardships and setbacks, but how one continues toward the goal and does not give up due to factors like laziness and procrastination is what determines one’s self-discipline. Research has revealed that cultivating self-discipline in children from a young age helps them to accomplish more in adulthood and manage their expectations and distractions effectively. 

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment conducted by Walter Mischel and Ebbe Ebbesen in the 1970s is a very popular experiment that concludes how self-discipline in the form of delayed short-term gratification indicates success later in life. In this experiment, children of the Stanford University School were given a marshmallow and were told to wait for 15 minutes before they ate it. If they stayed for that given period, they would get another marshmallow and if they ate the marshmallow before the time was up, they did not get a second one. This experiment was conducted on 90 pupils over several decades and concluded that the children who practised delayed gratification consistently were more likely to be successful in the future and lead a mentally and physically healthy life.

While this experiment won the researchers many awards and was cited numerous times, it was criticized heavily later on. This experiment was never successfully reproduced. In a study in 2018, this experiment was conducted on 900 children and it found no significant relationship between delayed gratification and success in the future. Rather, the socio-economic background of the participant was an influential factor for both determinants. The data collected in this experiment did not take any other factor responsible for the growth of a child into account, like family background and cognitive activities.

Neuroscience of Self-Discipline

The prefrontal cortex in our brain is responsible for our major cognitive functions like thinking, decision-making, problem-solving, and more.The prefrontal cortex, along with the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), helps to control our immediate impulses and focus our attention on the long-term goal by managing distractions and errors. Whenever faced with distractions, the prefrontal cortex of self-disciplined individuals is activated immediately, exerting cognitive control. 

Neuroplasticity can be described as the brain’s ability to change and adapt to different situations. When practised for a particular period, neural pathways are created which makes the transition easier. Similarly, practices like sticking to a routine, not giving in to temptations, and planning can be developed through neuroplasticity, making disciplined behaviour stronger over time.

Ways to Build Self-Discipline

This is a trait that might take effort and time to develop but will prove to be extremely beneficial in future. There are a few ways through which self-discipline can be improved with the help of regular practice. These are

1. Set Clear Goals

When you set clear goals, you start focusing on what is important. When you do not gain the true perspective of what you want, it is very easy to get distracted and lose sight of what is important. Know why this is important to you and what effective steps you can take to achieve it. Break your goal into smaller, more manageable and achievable goals so that you do not get overwhelmed by it. Try to outline a plan and steps of execution to get what you want. For this, you also need to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses and practice self-restraint.

Read More: 4 tips to Set High-Achieving Goals

2. Practice Continuously

Self-discipline is not an innate trait but is something that you cultivate over time (an acquired trait). It would be best if you cultivated it and it takes time which requires patience and practice. Put yourself into a routine that works effectively for you. Regularly practice the factors and aspects that are closely associated with your goal. To avoid giving up, formulate an effective plan. To-do lists or calendars might work well in situations like these since visual reminders are the most effective way to keep up your motivation. With diligent practice, you will adapt the required skills into your routine, making it a stepping stone towards your goal.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Manifestation

3. Mindfulness 

Mindfulness can be described as being aware of one’s thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviour at any given time. When you are aware of all these aspects, it is easier for you to control and manage distractions effectively. Mindfulness can also be an effective tool to control impulses and temptation. Mindfulness practices like mindful breathing and meditation can help to increase self-awareness which in turn makes it easier for an individual to resist disturbances. Practicing mindfulness can also help you increase your cognitive abilities, such as thinking, attention, decision-making, etc.

Read More: The Connection Between Mindfulness and Success

4. Be Kind to Yourself

When you are working towards a goal, mistakes and distractions are bound to happen. Do not ruminate on them. Learn from your past experiences and persevere. Self-compassion can improve an individual’s self-discipline by making setbacks less discouraging. When you are kind to yourself, you can work towards your goals by learning from your mistakes, no matter how hard the goals are to achieve. Acknowledge your feelings, validate your emotions, give yourself some time to process them, and offer yourself encouragement and care. Reward yourself in some ways for stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Socialize

Socializing, in this context, means to surround yourself with people who have goals similar to you. These people will help you to stay motivated and on the desired path. Share your successes, setbacks, and problems with them and encourage them to do the same. This way, apart from learning from their own mistakes, you learn from other’s mistakes. Furthermore, learn what worked for them and how you can tailor it to work for you as well. These people could be your friends, family, or anyone you trust. Create a healthy environment with a group of supportive people around you. When you have someone to check on your progress, you are more likely to reduce distractions and stay on track.

6. Reward Yourself

As mentioned previously, do not be too hard on yourself. When you want to achieve a big goal, it is effective that you break it down into smaller, more achievable goals. And when you accomplish these smaller goals, it is also essential to reward yourself. It helps to keep the motivation up. The reward could be buying yourself clothes, going out for a meal, or a break. Self-discipline does not mean focusing on the goal and giving all the other joys in life. Apart from keeping up your motivation, rewards can also make your journey towards your goal more enjoyable. 

7. Formulate a Plan ‘B’

It’s never wise to approach something with the expectation of failure, but it’s always smart to be prepared in case it happens. Even when you have formulated things very carefully, there is a tiny chance that all might not go according to your plan and that is alright. When you have a backup plan ready, you will not be completely thrown off the course in case your primary plan does not pan out. Rather, you will get a chance to learn from your mistakes and work through your plan ‘B’ effectively. Sometimes, even the best-laid plans do not give you the results you hoped and wished for.

Fostering Self-Discipline in Children and Adolescents

The people mainly involved in raising a child into a functional adult are their parents and teachers. They take an active role in setting the behavior tone and fostering self-discipline. There are a few steps they can take to ensure that the child grows up to be a self-disciplined adult. These steps involve

1. Teaching them Accountability

Start by giving the children some tasks that they need to accomplish on their own without any help. These tasks highlight the importance of accountability and the role of self-discipline involved. Teach them that all their actions will result in a consequence which might either be positive or negative and they need to take responsibility for it. These tasks could be as small as buying something from a nearby grocery store. Inculcate self-discipline and how it will help them in future education and their professional career. It will be a huge factor in shaping their personality as well.

2. Show Care and Respect

Children are more likely to listen to you when you talk to them in a calm and compassionate manner rather than when you are instructing them or being strict with them. If they think that you are being disrespectful towards them or not caring enough, they are more likely to misbehave. When a parent or teacher is nurturing, they feel proud of their achievements and work towards improving themselves if they fail. These are both essential motivators of functional behavior. Care and respect makes them feel valued and heard which in turn helps in fostering self-discipline.

3. Recognize Differences

When you have more than one child, they are bound to be different in various aspects. Embrace these differences and tailor them to their needs. Some children need more support and clearer instructions, while some are good at using abstract thinking to solve their problems. All children have different personalities and characteristics and hence might need different guidance and supervision to achieve their goals. When you recognize these different needs of different children, enhancing self-discipline in them becomes easy. 

4. Involve them in Decision-Making

Children, especially adolescents, are more likely to follow the rules when they are involved in its making. Although you may not always expect them to be on the same page as you, negotiating can work wonders. When the rules seem reasonable to them, they are more likely to adhere to it, fostering self-discipline. This involvement should be done by taking their age and development into account. It makes them feel valued and they view themselves as an important part of the process. This way, they are less likely to go off track and give in to distractions.

5. Use Reinforcements Strategically

Use appropriate reinforcements for exhibited behaviors. A simple praise can go a long way in maintaining their motivation. Ensure that you have a proper discussion with them about what went right or wrong. Teach them not to be disheartened by failures and not to get overconfident by achievements. Using appropriate reinforcements can also boost their intrinsic motivation. 

6. Remember That They are Still Young

While teaching them to adapt self-discipline in their life, remember that they are young and are going to make mistakes. Don’t be too harsh on them. Many techniques that you use might not turn out to be necessarily effective. When you are trying to inculcate self-discipline, make sure that it is a collaborative process. Both parties should be in on what needs to be done and how it needs to be done. Do not impose your opinions on them but guide them with patience and care. As the responsibilities increase with increasing age, so should their self-discipline.

There might also be various factors that affect the behavior of children and adolescents. These factors could be family background, socio-economic background, etc. Since we are talking about children and teenagers here, misbehaving could also be attributed to lying, giving excuses, blaming others, and thinking that it is okay to do all these things if you are not caught. 

Embedding self-discipline in children and adolescents takes time and effort by parents or guardians, educators, and the children. But it is very important to inculcate this quality to make them responsible and empathetic individuals in the future who take responsibility for their own actions and are concerned about the well-being of others. 

Self-Discipline vs Motivation

Both these characteristics might seem the same at first glance, but they differ majorly. Self-discipline is much more reliable than motivation. Motivation can be described as a varying thing that comes and goes but self-discipline keeps you on the right track for as long as required. The former can be a big help to get you started in your journey, but the latter is what keeps you focused and helps you avoid distractions. Self-discipline is very essential for consistency in your actions which will reflect in your consequences. The major differences between self-discipline and motivation are

• Motivation is fleeting while self-discipline is consistent. One might feel motivated when they are energized or happy but it might wear off when you return to normalcy. Self-discipline is deliberate, takes effort, and is reliable. 
• Various studies in behavioral psychology indicate that motivation has a tendency to decay over time, unlike self-discipline. People with better self-discipline are better at managing distractions, have patience, and are reliable.
• Motivation is triggered by rewards and recognition, which is why it is temporary. Self-discipline, on the other hand, is not triggered but set by routines, continuous practice, and commitment.
• Motivation is at a higher risk of burnout and distractions. Moreover, since motivation is just a surge of energy, it is likely to lead to procrastination when this energy is not present. Self-discipline does not rely on motivation for its implementation. It is inculcated through practice.
• Motivation might give you short bursts of action like completing a whole chapter in a day but self-discipline gives you effective and long-term results like effective learning and better results in your final exams.

Self-discipline is a more effective method for achieving your goals than motivation. Motivation might help you to get you started but with diligent practice and set routines, you can achieve your ultimate goals.

Conclusion

Self-discipline can be described as the ability of an individual to be able to effectively regulate their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is a very important aspect of your personality and helps you to achieve your goals that require hard work and diligence. Self-discipline is not just a means to an end but rather a journey towards betterment. It works in various aspects of one’s life like family, relationship, career, health, and personal growth. It helps in removing all the negative factors like distractions, setbacks, procrastination, etc., and persevering with factors like patience, self-control, resilience, etc.