Recently, Bollywood actor Ranbir Kapoor sat with the founder of True Fan and an entrepreneur, Nikhil Kamath, in a podcast wherein they discussed issues that are still considered taboo, namely men’s mental health and capability to be vulnerable in relationships. Their conversation was revealing about these problems and featured the need for discussing them to enhance men’s mental health. Here are the four key points they discussed about:
Struggle With Expressing Emotions
Ranbir discussed his problems with articulating feelings. He struggled with expressing feelings due to his father, Rishi Kapoor’s illness and death. They demonstrated that he did not cry when his father died, and he stated that they have a complicated relationship and still, men are not allowed to cry. “I have a great relationship with my mother, not so great with my father, but I loved and respected him. I stopped crying very early on. It’s funny, I didn’t cry when my father passed away,” Ranbir shared. Kamath also mentioned he felt guilty if he was not there when his father eventually died, and he was already working in Australia at that time. These incidents highlight the problem that has many times been addressed: that men should not cry or be ‘emasculated’ enough to grieve.
Discussing therapy, Ranbir said, “I have tried therapy. I have nothing against therapy; it’s just that I have to open myself up, and I’m very scared of opening up.” He also said that the therapist was in some way teaching him how to manipulate his life and maybe the therapist was bad or he didn’t enjoy being with the therapist. Ranbir asked Nikhil, “Do you go to therapy thinking that it’s the gym for the mind?” The host replied, “It makes me perform even better at work.”
Insecurities and Personal Growth
Ranbir and Nikhil also talked about the topic of insecurities. They pointed out that insecurities are sometimes seen as something bad to have. Nikhil said, “Insecurity leading to inaction is a bad thing… But insecurity leading to action is good for the economy and capitalism.” Ranbir said that he doesn’t feel insecure about his work anymore, and he begged the question of whether that makes him self-confident or arrogant. “If everything was taken away from me, I can’t imagine it, and I have a lot of faith in my art. I would never feel insecure seeing my wife with another actor,” he said. Nikhil asked if Ranbir would feel insecure if he saw Alia Bhatt romancing another actor on-screen, and after some reflection, Ranbir answered “I wouldn’t feel insecure if I see Alia romancing another guy on screen, but maybe 10 years back I would feel that. Now, I’ve grown up and understood life a bit.”
Issues that Arise in Mental Health Practice
When talking about the necessity of addressing men’s mental health, Ranbir pointed out that men are not eager to share their problems – such behaviour is unbecoming of a real man. Ranbir responded, “You can’t even comment so freely on this topic anymore because somebody picks up something, and that becomes a trail of you being anti-feminist and male chauvinist. I feel it’s for anybody—if they’re not well mentally, there’s no shame in taking help or crying about it. People who love you will understand, and those who don’t understand don’t love you, so how does it matter?”
Ranbir agreed with the first point that it has become a bit difficult to talk about mental health for men and at the same time, women in India are equally suppressed. “I see it in a city like Mumbai, so what happens in the rest of India we do not know,” he added. He stressed the themes of using mental health problems delicately and without making them an excuse for not fulfilling obligations.
Detachment and Emotional Closeness
Ranbir also discussed how he does not like being in close relationships, and he has avoided touching feelings right from childhood. “I do not recall which of my friends it was, but when this particular friend used to leave home after playing, I found it burning inside; something used to break and maybe I just closed myself and got detached from everybody,” he was almost in tears. Nevertheless, being a father to Raha Kapoor, his daughter is already altering this perception. “That is making me question detachment and indifference because I feel like I was reborn: It feels like for the start of another life, I’m feeling a lot of new kinds of feelings. ”
The interaction between Ranbir Kapoor and Nikhil Kamath raises awareness about the emotional issues that are familiar to many men but are less likely to be mentioned. They create awareness and share helpful resources about topics that affect men, such as grief and insecurity, and push for acceptance of men suffering from mental-related issues. It is important to remind men that talking and interactions also have therapeutic effects in maintaining mental and emotional health, in facing life’s adversities.
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