Psychology of Romance

Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect, and greet each other.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Romance is the most fundamental force of attraction that governs through the pleasure principle. We as human beings from the time of the Stone Age started to learn how to communicate with each other and how to live in groups, which creates a bond between two Individuals who have similar kind of thought patterns, likes-dislikes, or habits. They see each other as the same soul in two distinct bodies that tie together through the thread of compassion, love, trust, pleasure, expectations, and consistency. Romance always comes from the human-to-human bond of love which is purely based on “thoughts of pleasure,” and it causes the release of the “love–hormone “that’s oxytocin which gives enhancing effects – like gazing, Empathy, positive communication, trust, and pleasure. Despite all the fundamental elements of love:

Expectations always play a crucial role in any romantic relationship as we are emotionally bonded with each other we always have certain kinds of insecurities that are closely connected through expectations.

Also Read: Nurturing Intimacy: Strategies to Deepen Your Connection with Your Partner

In General, the most common expectation for a loved one is to give them a priority, if they fail to do so, then their partner starts developing insecurities, doubts, or feelings of low. If we can try to comprehend that we live in a world in which we always have a lot of essential tasks –from office work to taking care of our elderly parents then we can put ourselves in the shoes of our partner that how essential their other task and should I need to force them to be consistently available for me? These questions eventually help you to relieve yourself from unwanted thoughts or doubts. And it is better to understand reality rather than rumination in thoughts.

Despite availability or priority, other expectations are to solve all the minor problems of relations in one go. And spend a romantic life without any dislikes, hassles, or fights. But we must accept the reality that no matter how hard we try we never make our life free of all disputes with our romantic partner. As we may have common goals, likes, or other similarities, as similarities we may also have dislikes, dissimilarities, or different thoughts of opinion. We can try to accept the things we cannot change in the partner and work on things that may change through logical explanations of facts and work together to make out with minimal disputes.

Also Read: Why do People Fall in Love?

Another quite common expectation is the “open mind theory” In which one partner who is quite high on extroversion may tend to think that they expect all his/her things which technically comes under the label of “open mind.” e.g., going out with friends of the other gender, being outspoken about their feelings, living life on the top of the sky, etc. But these open-minded things sometimes hinder the other partner because of their personality type, like they may be high on neuroticism or Introversion, so they may not like to be there to enjoy the same pace of life. For this, we must understand others’ personality types and try to synchronize with them to the level of their personality type. And at the same as also live our life on our own.

These important expectations can help us to free from our expectations and make ourselves more romantically involved with our partners and it develops more honesty, compassion, love, care, and a strong bond of love.

Romance may not solve the problems of mental health issues, but it has a significant contribution to lowering stress, anxiety, and depression, even it also enhances self-worth, self-esteem, and happiness levels in life. It facilitates the support, care, and love that are beneficial for overall quality of life and Mental Health.