Psychology of Being the Black Sheep in the Family/Friends

You might have seen characters such as Wednesday Addams from “Wednesday” and Eric Forman from “That 70s’ Show,” who tend to differ from their existing social groups. They’re smart, clever, and funny in their ways, so they stand out. These people often step outside the usual means of lifestyle that render them the “odd man out.” They’re referred to as the Black sheep within the flock of white sheep. This article shall delve into the psychological elements surrounding the “Black Sheep” within families and friend circles. 

Who is a Black Sheep? 

A black sheep is considered one of those outsiders in the family, group of friends, or society based on their personality, way of life, or values. 

The social psychology term “black sheep” comes from the idea that a person is misunderstood as they do not fit in with the group’s social dynamics and norms. This term is derived from the exceptional rarity of wool on white sheep, representing that an individual does not belong to the rest of the group. The person referred to as the black sheep tends to be ostracized and violates the social group’s expectations. Wednesday Addams from The Addams Family is the quintessential black sheep of “Wednesday” pop culture series. “If you look at the series, she is not like her family, is darkly sarcastic, and is a fan-favorite symbol of individuality—anyone who lives an unorthodox life or embodies that authentic self by challenging norms.”

How do people become the Black Sheep? 

Though being a black sheep comes with numerous challenges, it has its positive side. One of the strongest precedence of being a black sheep is that they can create their path. They look for new possibilities and make choices aligned with what they believe in instead of trying to get approval from others. They become famous for challenging unhealthy family dynamics and old customs and creating innovative thinking approaches to introduce positive transformation to the upcoming generations. They open their minds wider by looking for new experiences and ideas since they are more flexible, receptive, and innovative in their capacities.

Conversely, being isolated from other group members is the greatest danger of being a black sheep. They can feel excluded, lack support, and be alienated from their family and friends. They are usually stereotyped as the “disappointment” of the family despite rational decisions made. This can result in feelings of loss of belongingness and self-doubt. Such people often tend to feel compelled to conform with individuals with the same values and ideas, causing inner turmoil when accepting who they are and resisting close relationships. They can be criticized, accused, and rejected since they tend to be burdensome and underappreciated.

Prevalence of Psychiatric Disorders among such Individuals 

Depressive Disorders 

The rejection, isolation, and pressure to conform to societal standards can result in sadness, low self-esteem, loss of interest and pleasure in activities they once enjoyed, persistent fatigue, and suicidal thoughts. Continuous criticism and lack of motivation can result in emotional regulation difficulties, which may be expressed as major depressive disorder. 

Read More: The Depths of Major Depressive Disorder: A Journey through Darkness

Anxiety Disorders 

They can also feel a perpetual fear of rejection or judgment. It can cause them to worry excessively about their behavior and its repercussions. They can begin to withdraw from social interactions, which can cause them further isolation. Intimacy issues, anxiety, and being in suspense about things can disrupt their normal functioning. 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Endless rejection and an unstable relationship pattern may result in borderline personality, marked by instability in emotional expressions, overreliance on the fear of being abandoned, extremely high impulsivity, and suicidal tendencies. They might develop confusion about how to see themselves, resulting in dysregulation of emotions and violent outbursts.

Read More: Breaking the Silence: The Truth About Borderline Personality Disorder

Eating Disorders and Substance Abuse 

The emotional distress produced by social dynamics and emotional dysregulation may take the form of eating disorders such as binge-eating disorder, anorexia bulimia, and anorexia nervosa. They also indulge in unhealthy coping strategies to control their emotions in the form of excessive alcohol use, smoking, and drug abuse. This can further progress to substance use disorders. 

How do you deal with being the Black Sheep in the social environment? 

• Accept your differences and celebrate your strengths to redefine your sense of self-concept. It will be a time for personal empowerment, resilience, and personal growth 
• Having people around you who love you regardless of what is crucial. Taking care of yourself and practicing healthy personal habits will build self-confidence. 
• It is crucial to be firm in interactions that call for the same. To safeguard your emotional health, establishing healthy boundaries will help others know how you feel so they can understand how you should be treated. 
• Sharing your emotions and feelings with your loved ones who know you will create windows for greater understanding and encourage healthy relationships. It will aid in acceptance and reconciliation. 
• Not being accepted by everyone is tiring to a point. It is essential to know that not everyone will get you, and seeking approval all the time will not aid in personal development. Prioritizing your own happiness will make you live a more meaningful and genuine life. 
• Families and friends are a source of love, support, and ubiquitous encouragement. It is very critical to reestablish your feeling of belongingness in case your present close-net relationships are not providing you with the requisite warmth and affection. 
• Embrace your Individuality 
• Develop Self-Confidence 
• Establish Healthy Boundaries
• Be open and honest in your communication 
• Let go of the Need for Approval 
• Redefine your relationships with friends and family 

Take Away

Being the “Black Sheep” among family or friends can cause you to feel lonely and depressed, yet it does not determine who you are. Pursuing healthy and understanding relationships will guide you to accept yourself for who you are. The real feeling of belonging will start with accepting yourself, and then the right people will naturally surround you.