6 Psychological Benefits of Celibacy

The vow of celibacy implies self-sacrifice, seeming unnatural to many. Reproduction is a primary human drive, being an essential element of species evolution. While celibacy goes against basic human nature, it is wholeheartedly accepted by some cultures in the belief that abstaining from sexual acts will enlighten the path to meaningful self-transformation.

What is Celibacy? 

Celibacy is a vow of becoming sexually abstinent for a lifetime, as in the case of monks and nuns or for specific periods, like before marriage. It may be a voluntary or involuntary choice. Celibacy has diverse forms, with some individuals abstaining from all forms of sexual activity while some engage in non-penetrative sex called outercourse. 

People choose celibacy for diverse reasons. The most popular rationale is adhering to religious beliefs wherein becoming celibate maintains the sanctity of a lifestyle like priesthood. For instance, Brahmacharya is the primary life stage of Ashrama ideology and instils the values of competence and fidelity in young people, preparing them for married life. Culturally, celibacy before marriage signifies innocence, particularly for women. People may also turn celibate because they don’t desire sexual relationships, are not ready for sexual acts or have different priorities, such as being career-driven.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Worship: Why Humans Believe in Religion and Spirituality

Celibacy Trends 

The internet is flooded with online communities such as “volcel”, wherein individuals who voluntarily choose celibacy for diverse reasons connect, experiencing a sense of solidarity and relatability. Similarly, another online community, “incels,” includes people who cannot find sexual partners and have become involuntarily celibate. 

Currently, voluntary celibacy has been trending with several global movements such as the Korean 4B movement (“bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, disease”), which involves saying no to marriage, giving birth, romance and sex and the boys over movement, which means choosing self-care over sexual relationships. 

Read More: The Psychology Behind Rebound Sex

Positive Effects of Celibacy 

1. Spiritual and value development: Celibacy improves spiritual well-being, helping one develop a bond with a higher power and cultivate character strengths like patience and self-control. Spirituality instils faith and gratitude, helping one navigate challenges with resilience. 
2. Mental health boost: Celibacy improves focus, helping one attend to different life priorities without being distracted by sexual desires. It may reduce stress by relieving one from fulfilling the societal expectations of marrying and having children along with facilitating identity development. Celibacy enhances self-awareness as one moves beyond sexual frustrations and also helps manage sex addiction.
3. Reduced health risks: Celibacy minimises the risk of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Further, there is no need to invest in contraceptives.
4. Strengthens relationships: Often, the pressure of sex may lead to miscommunication and conflicts in relationships. People can enhance their romantic relationships by abstaining from sex and working towards building emotional intimacy and mutual trust by spending quality time together. 
5. Newfound clarity: Several personal and cultural elements guide people’s sexual experiences. Celibacy allows one to explore their sexuality through reflective practices and gain clarity about how sex fits in with their life, relationships and values. 
6. Evolutionary benefits: In Western China, researchers interviewed Tibetan families to explore the rationale behind the traditional practice of sending the younger son to become a celibate monk. Besides religious significance, having a celibate monk as a family member was profitable for the entire family as it ended sibling rivalry over parental resources. Further, men with a monk brother were relatively wealthier and had more children. The research also explains why female celibates are more common in societies where women have more inheritance rights. 

Pitfalls of Celibacy 

1. Dealing with societal judgement: Unless celibacy is associated with religious vows, it is perceived as a questionable lifestyle. Many find it unnatural, and celibate people might struggle to explain themselves and justify their choices again and again. One might feel self-conscious, judged and disconnected from their peers and family. 
2. Sexist Undertone: Societal stereotypes of associating celibacy with purity among women and with lack of masculinity among men create mental limitations. Such sexist notions prevent individuals from exploring their sexual preferences. 
3. Mental health decline: Involuntary celibacy can lead to deteriorating mental health and is associated with low self-esteem, fear of missing out, anxiety and depression. In the absence of a strong support network, celibate individuals experience loneliness and social isolation. Further, any moment of relapse is associated with feelings of guilt and shame, producing emotional turmoil. Some may feel extremely sexually frustrated and come to resent celibacy. 
4. Avoid dealing with trauma: At times, individuals resort to celibacy to cope with past traumatic experiences and avoid specific triggers. While celibacy acts as a coping mechanism, it does not help individuals process their trauma in the absence of therapeutic interventions. 
5. Path to Celibacy: Choosing a celibate lifestyle should be an informed choice. You may try out celibacy for a specific period to see if you will be able to commit to it without feeling insecure about your decision. The journey of celibacy is different for all and may not necessarily include abstaining from all forms of sexual pleasures.

It is you who sets the boundaries and adheres to them without judgment. If you are committed to someone, consulting them before becoming celibate is wise. Lastly, being internally motivated to practise celibacy ensures you experience a sense of meaning from the process. Superficial pursuits render the process forceful and meaningless. You may seek professional–individual or marriage counselling– help to figure out how to go about celibacy. 

Often, people choose to become celibate for specific periods, engaging in sexual activity after that. They may feel pressured by external forces such as religious obligations. Journaling might help people navigate the transformation as they reflect on and write down their thoughts about future sexual experiences and their preferences. 

Sexual wellness includes celibacy as an option, and no one should be questioned for the same. Cultivating a non-judgemental perspective and having faith in yourself helps one commit to a celibate lifestyle. Celibacy may be a fruitful lifestyle, nourishing one’s mind, body and soul, only when chosen voluntarily. 

FAQs 

What is Celibacy? 

Celibacy is a vow of becoming sexually abstinent for a lifetime, as in the case of monks and nuns, or for specific periods like before marriage. It may be a voluntary or involuntary choice. Celibacy has diverse forms with some individuals abstaining from all forms of sexual activity while some engage in non-penetrative sex called outercourse.

Does Religion always play a role in celibacy? 

People choose celibacy for diverse reasons, both logical and personal. The most popular rationale is adhering to religious beliefs wherein becoming celibate maintains the sanctity of a lifestyle like priesthood. People may also turn celibate because they don’t desire sexual relationships, are not ready for sexual acts or have different priorities such as being career-driven. 

What is the Impact of Celibacy?

Celibacy has both positive and negative impacts. Physically, it reduces the risk of unplanned pregnancies and STDs. It also improves mental and spiritual well-being, strengthens relationships and has evolutionary benefits. However, it carries sexist connotations and individuals may struggle with societal judgement and loneliness.

What to consider when choosing celibacy? 

Choosing a celibate lifestyle should be an informed choice. You may try out celibacy for a specific period to see if you will be able to commit to it without feeling insecure about your decision. If you are committed to someone, consulting them before becoming celibate is a wise decision. You may seek professional–individual or marriage counselling– help to figure out how to go about celibacy.