Many of us have experienced remorse after sharing an unpleasant anecdote at work or an inappropriate detail with a complete stranger. Even with people we don’t know well, maintaining connections may be difficult, and we’re all prone to overshare occasionally. However, if you see it becoming a habit or you find yourself asking all the time, “How do I know if I’m oversharing?” It can be a signal that you should consider your social propensities. Keep in mind that everyone is prone to mistakes. In fact, studies have shown that we tend to overshare more as we age. But learning to read a room and recognising the factors that make you over-analyze things can help you stop doing this.
What is oversharing?
“Revealing an inappropriate amount of detail about one’s personal life” is what is meant by “oversharing.” You may have experienced this at a party when you meet a stranger and they immediately start telling you incredibly personal and detailed details about their upbringing, how their lover betrayed them, or their sex life.
Oversharing is the practice of disclosing private or sensitive information to others, often in a public setting. It can take numerous forms, including sharing information about one’s relationships, health, money, or even one’s most personal thoughts and feelings. In the present digital era, the concept of oversharing on social media platforms has become more crucial than ever since other online communication technologies make it easier than ever to reveal private information to a big audience.
Why do we overshare?
For a variety of reasons, people could overshare. One of these justifications is the desire to build relationships with individuals. Sharing private information with one another can promote intimacy, trust, and a feeling of closeness. Additionally, some people might think that sharing sensitive information would help them seem true and real or will help them win the acceptance of others.
Others could overshare as a coping strategy for unpleasant emotions or experiences. For instance, those who have experienced trauma or abuse may find it helpful to talk about their experiences in order to process their emotions and get support. Similar to this, those who struggle with mental health issues like depression or anxiety may confide in others in order to receive support or help.
Oversharing and ADHD
Most people mistakenly divulge facts they probably shouldn’t have at some point in their life. It may be confidential information about someone else or an awkward small conversation. However, “oversharing” might be a more regular issue for many persons with ADHD.
Saying anything private or improper in the wrong situation or to the wrong person is oversharing. People with ADHD often don’t do it on purpose. Sometimes they may not be aware that they are speaking incorrectly or providing excessive information. Alternatively, they could be unable to pause and think before speaking.
Oversharing causes problems for a variety of reasons. With executive function abilities like impulse control, some people may struggle. Or they can struggle with low self-esteem and social skills. Children may communicate too much just to be noticed or to be cool.
Oversharing and mental illness
While excessive sharing isn’t usually an indication of mental illness, it can be an indicator of some disorders and the symptoms they give rise to in patients. People with bipolar illness or borderline personality disorder, for example, may struggle to restrain their emotions and impulses, which may lead them to behave impulsively and divulge sensitive information without considering the ramifications.T who occasionally feel compelled to share private information in an effort to garner attention from others or win their approval may be showing symptoms of disorders like narcissistic personality disorder.
People who have experienced trauma or abuse may also struggle to set boundaries and utilise sharing personal information or venting to a sympathetic ear as a coping method. This tactic is known as trauma dumping. Sharing what’s on one’s mind can sometimes be a good coping mechanism, but it’s important to create appropriate limits and to get help from trained specialists when needed.
How can you stop oversharing?
- Balancing the conversation
- Before reacting, pause.
- Read your emails again
- Discover your triggers
- Focus the conversation once again
- Be careful.
Have a set of healthier coping techniques ready to use when the impulse to overshare arises. Talking to someone who is probably ill-equipped to help you or handle what you hurl at them anyhow may not be as relaxing as exercising, going outside, and engaging in creative activities like writing and sketching.
So, when you need to talk about anything, there are people to do exactly that who will not only listen but also respect your privacy. You can stop the pattern of oversharing with the aid of a therapist or counsellor, and you can then replace it with better coping skills.
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