Navigating the Clouds: Supporting a Partner Through Depression

Depression is like having a big invisible bag that you keep hidden from everyone. At first, you could try to go about your day as usual, but the weight eventually gets to you. Simple tasks like brushing your teeth and getting out of bed become a huge effort, and it seems like you’re hiking uphill in thick, heavy mud. Each stride seems more difficult.

Even more challenging than this is supporting your partner throughout their depression. It’s like trying to get close to someone who appears to be floating inside a foggy glass jar when you live with a depressive partner. No matter how hard you try, you cannot open the jar and take the mist away; only they will be able to do so eventually. You must offer them the proper assistance as a result. The conventional responses, such as “Go to the gym,” “Just drink water,” and “Why can’t you just be happy,” are untrue. What then should you do?

Read More: Depression: Symptoms, Causes, Types and Treatment

Be a Helping Hand

Supporting a partner who is depressed requires a lot of empathy, patience and the right effort. Hence, one can:

• Celebrate small wins: Celebrate even the littlest accomplishments, such as getting out of bed or finishing a task. These can feel enormous in depression, and acknowledging them demonstrates understanding.
• Be Their Advocate in Social Circles: Socialising might be intimidating while depressed. Help them handle social demands without making them feel under pressure and speak up for them when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Support and Help them Build a Routine: In “Wake Up Sid”, Sid’s life was aimless before Aisha helped him create a daily schedule that gives it structure and a sense of purpose. Inertia is broken by your partner doing this.
• Use Small Gestures of Care: A date is never about expensive gifts and candlelight dinners. Small gestures of affection, such as preparing their favourite dish or leaving a heartfelt message, express love and support without being overbearing.
• Support Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Promote joint exercise and a balanced diet. Choosing a healthy lifestyle has a big impact on mental health and happiness. Encourage them to share daily things for which they are grateful to cultivate gratitude.
• Try to do activities together: Give them company, show them you care and try to have fun in every activity you engage in with them. Enjoy simple activities like cooking together, watching films or just hanging together without feeling obligated to go out.
• Make a Safe Space: Allow them to communicate their worries, rage, and grief without fear of condemnation. Follow in the footsteps of Shruti from “Barfi,” who shows Barfi and Jhilmil unconditional love and understanding so they can be vulnerable and loved for who they are.
• Be Their Silent Companion: When Ved spirals in the film “Tamasha,” Tara offers her presence without passing judgment and waits quietly until he feels ready to talk. Don’t push your depressed partner to chat or give them pointless counsel. Listen to them, don’t leave, and ensure you are there for them.
• Encourage Creative Outlets: Not everybody loves to talk, and not everybody is comfortable with the traditional “art therapy” way of expression. In the film “Dear Zindagi,” Shah Rukh Khan’s character Jug helps Kaira (Alia Bhatt) use cinematography to express her feelings and inspires her to find comfort in her work. Similarly, find your partner’s hobby/ pass time and encourage them.
• Encourage Professional Help: Make a gentle recommendation to seek therapy or counselling, portraying it as a proactive move towards recovery instead of a last option. Offer to help them locate a specialist. And even if they already are, there may be occasions when they stumble and miss therapy appointments. Offer them your gentle encouragement and make an effort to comprehend what they are saying.

Read More: Life beyond Depression

It can be difficult to support a partner who is depressed; it might be like trying to make your way through a thick fog. Even while you might not be able to dispel the fog, your patience, empathy, and steadfast presence can nevertheless have a big impact. You may light their way by being a kind companion, supporting artistic endeavours, and acknowledging little accomplishments.

This will provide them comfort and understanding when they’re feeling down. Recall that the goal of the journey is to assist them, stand by them, and let them return to the light at their own pace—not to hasten or correct the healing process. Your affection and assistance may serve as the steadfast beacon that leads them through their adversity.