Maximizing Your Therapy Experience: A Quick Guide

Admitting that you need help needs a lot of vulnerability and courage. People are often sceptical about the success rate of therapy and feelings of hyper-independence, fear of judgment and ridicule keep people from considering therapy or even acknowledging their mental health struggles. Taking the first step in your therapeutic journey is no small feat! You’re already a step closer to your destination. However, you might be wondering what can come of a one-hour session.  Therapy is not “just talking.” Keep reading to find out how you can benefit best from therapy. 

1. Choose the right modality and therapist for you 

Before starting therapy, think about the “why” and “what.”

• Why do you want to go to therapy? 
• What issues do you want to work through?

Many modalities deal with different issues while some therapists take a client-tailored approach. It is important to read about the modalities and find a therapist with expertise in that domain.  For example: If you deal with a sense of apprehension during social situations; the best fit for you might be someone who practices Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It is a short-term, problem-oriented approach that helps clients understand and identify their negative thoughts and how they affect their behaviour. 

Similarly, if you want to resolve the trauma caused by a past event, you might want to consider Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. By responding to bilateral stimulations while focusing on the traumatic memory, EMDR reduces the vividness of the traumatic experience.

There are several modalities and it might take 1-2 sessions to find the perfect fit. You might also want to check for therapists who are queer affirmative, especially if you are from the LGBTQIA+ community. A trauma-informed therapist is essential if you have experienced a negative experience in the past and want to work on it.

Read More: Mental Health of LGBTQIA+: The Challenges and Possible Solutions

Several online platforms let you filter therapists according to your concerns and the modalities you prefer. Teletherapy is also gaining traction and if is something that you think would work best for you, make sure to have a system equipped with the requirements and a quiet place where you can attend your sessions. It is important to know that you might not find the perfect therapist in your first session, and it’s okay to let the therapist know about your concerns and discontinue the relationship if required. 

2. Be consistent

Now that you’ve decided to start therapy and even found a therapist who you think would be the “perfect fit,” make sure to attend the sessions regularly. Numerous barriers exist in one’s way of seeking therapy, such as feelings of awkwardness, judgment etc. Such a barrier might lead the client to cancel sessions or avoid scheduled sessions.

Pre-therapy nervousness is a common phenomenon that can happen to anyone in therapy, whether it’s your first session or your 30th, feeling of apprehension and uneasiness can arise before a session due to various reasons such as a recent life change, the fear of disappointing your therapist, etc.  It is important to remember that therapy can sometimes be overwhelming and you can be drained out after a session, however, it is important to bring up these concerns to your therapist and find solutions to minimise the barriers. 

3. “Your therapist is not your friend” 

It is crucial to understand the therapeutic relationship. Your therapist indeed provides you with a safe, non-judgemental space full of hope and acceptance, but the relationship is strictly professional. The therapeutic relationship is based on the mutual feelings of 

• Trust
• Respect
• Honesty
• Unconditional positive regard 

These feelings, if shared by both therapist and client, foster a space conducive to healing and growth. But more often than not, transference- a phenomenon where the client redirects feelings, desires, and expectations for another person (such as a parent or a spouse) toward the therapist- distorts the therapeutic relationship and hinders the healing process. Hence, it is important to remember that a therapist-client relationship is strictly professional with boundaries and legalities, and maintaining these can only forward the healing process.

Read More: Psychology Behind Growth Mindset

4. Set Realistic Goals and Expectations

In your first session, you are most likely to be greeted with the complicated question, “What brings you here?” Contemplating too much can suck you into a whirlpool of thoughts and events that might be difficult to convey. So, it is essential to take things slow and unpack your concerns one by one to the therapist. You and your therapist would work together to create a list of short-term and long-term goals to effectively address your issues. It is important to keep in mind that therapy is not a quick fix like popping analgesics for pain relief, it is a journey that demands patience and hard work from both parties. Set only attainable goals and stay intent on achieving them.

Read More: Therapeutic Alliance in Therapy

5. Do your homework

The session might end in the therapist’s office, but the therapeutic process continues. Take a journal with you and note down all the things that you feel are important. Try to inculcate the practices learnt during the sessions. Replace older coping mechanisms with newer ones. This change may seem overwhelming, and even impossible at first, but with time you will be able to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms.

Maintain a journal and write about the feelings that arise throughout the day, notice the recurring ones and how they affect your daily life and bring them up during your next session. Discussing your feelings and emotions can be difficult and may initially feel worse, but to benefit from therapy, it’s crucial to step out of your comfort zone and be open about all your feelings. The therapeutic process might be hindered if you keep withholding important details. 

6. Change course if you think no progress is being made

By now you must know the ways to effectively attend therapy sessions, but despite following all these and still feeling like you’re not making any progress can be distressing. In such cases, it is important to be transparent and talk to your therapist. Many times, clients are not able to gauge the progress made by them or barriers may hinder the therapeutic process. Whatever may be the reason, it is important to remember that changing course if a particular therapy or therapist is not working is totally normal. Try not to be too hard on yourself and embark on a new route in your healing journey.

Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all. An approach that worked for your friend might not work for you and it doesn’t mean that you have an “unfixable.” problem. Every individual is unique and hence Therapy can be a bumpy ride with many detours and roundabouts. It is not always about reaching the destination but appreciating the process, finding new strengths, and noticing new patterns in your life. Your therapist can only give you directions, the steering wheel will always be in your hands.