Same-sex couple lived as heterosexuals for 8 years, reveals autopsy
In the small town of Sehore in Madhya Pradesh, a same-sex couple lived together as husband and wife for eight years, till the death of the latter by suicide revealed that she was not a biological woman. The wife’s autopsy report was received by the police last week. The duo, who got married in 2012, presented themselves to their family and neighbours as a heterosexual couple and adopted a child two years after their wedding. Additional superintendent of police, Sehore, Sameer Yadav said that on August 11, the couple fought, following which the wife attempted to immolate herself.
Whenever we analyse any case or any of our own situation we need to see things from three perspectives or rather I would say- 3 roles viz. Actor, Audience and the Director. Looking at the present case from an actor’s role, we can understand as to what we have been taught since ages,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
(1 Corinthians 13:1) Here, I would like to add on
Love sees no boundaries, love is boundless, love does not differentiate between black and white nor does it see any biological differences…..
However, he wanted to bring the truth forward legally in front of his family and community. We cannot even imagine the amount of unnecessary guilt, shame, fear and anxiety clubbed with bouts of depression both of them would have carried within… and for what? Love?? or for standing for his love in front of ‘his’ people?? But… who cares? Staying with each other was all they wanted and staying with each other is what they got… As we know you can’t have everything in your plate… Either you focus on the choice and face the consequences or focus on the consequences and let go of the choices…
The consequences here are evident- seclusion from family, emotional disturbances, compromise in career and professional aspirations along with static anxiety, anger and emotional trauma… Autopsy disclosing their identities post death leading to shame in the families…
Now let’s try to understand this scenario as the audience… The audience knows scene 1, scene 3 and what happened between scene 1 and 3 too… Same needs to be understood here… An important point to ponder here is was the child adopted out of nurturance need or out of the societal pressure of having a baby since 2 yrs of their marriage were passed? The core schemas of traditional Indian culture lies in timely finding jobs, marriage and then rearing kids… If not, then unnecessary pressure at each stage of life by aunt agonies and concerned uncles. It is hard to define boundaries as the Indian culture is collectivistic in nature… That’s a trauma a straight couple often faces… Probably two of them didn’t realise while hiding their sexual identities that this pressure may follow… However, just like any other couple they managed the eight years of married life… But, can we presume that same sex couples cannot fight or quarrel? Do they have a different bent of mind? Different thought processes… ehh?? Absolutely not, the fight can easily be explained as a 7-yrs itch… Reasons could be many- pressure by the socially presented female on the male to stand up for the legal identities, taking care of the house hold chores, child’s education or change in interest of any of the duo. Could also be extra-marital affair… Or did someone got to know about their identities and was threatening them to disclose the same to the significant others? Did this became the reason for the fight and immolation? How were the families of the couple?
Points to ponder here again- Have we done enough to change the perception of the society towards love? Do we understand love at the very first place? Can we for once understand that love, sex and marriage is all about the mutual consent, feelings and the hormonal gush of two people? It has nothing to do with the biological sex given to you by birth… Rather the two types of sexualities that we develop in our developmental stages as explained beautifully by Dr. John Kappas… Are we still matching kundalis before marriage? Why don’t we do pre-marital counselling like the western cultures? Or Match the sexualities? Where is the awareness or implementation on the awareness that is being spread??
Just like the present case there still are so many same sex couples who want to be with each other legally but are afraid to do so because of the social pressure and stigma that is still attached. Poor couple was deprived of parental love and personal as well as the social identities. What can also be concluded here is, the old school led the couple to hide their identities and the new school now stands in support… But all is lost and yet there’s still some hope…
The director knows which scene will be the first one, which will be second and then what would follow… Same happened with these two love birds and here I am analysing their case for a number of readers… That suggests, more awareness, more understanding, respect and acceptance to the entire community of trans-genders. If only I am able to communicate correctly in these words the message would reach the right audience and together we can give and share more love on this beautiful planet Earth… as we know it!