Losing a Soulmate: A Journey of Grief, Loss and Keeping Hope

Grief, the emotional response to the loss of a loved one, is a profound and universal experience. It is a complex and often tumultuous journey through a range of emotions that can deeply affect an individual’s mental health. Let’s uncover the reasons behind the emotional turmoil associated with grief and loss, shedding light on its profound and lasting impact.

Grief is not merely an emotional reaction but a psychological and physiological process that has been extensively studied by researchers in the field of psychology and psychiatry. It involves a spectrum of emotions and reactions, which can vary widely from person to person. There are some of the key emotions experienced in grief that you may find in a loved one/family/friend. We believe that sadness and sorrow are the only signs of grief but there are some additional symptoms that can indicate your grief:

1. Sadness: Grief is often characterized by overwhelming sadness. Research by Bonanno et al. (2002) suggests that sadness is a common and expected response to loss, reflecting the deep emotional bond between individuals and their loved ones.
2. Anger: Studies by Stroebe and Schut (1999) have shown that anger is a frequent emotion in the grieving process. It can manifest as frustration, irritation, or resentment and may be directed towards various targets, including the circumstances of the death or even the deceased.
3. Guilt: Guilt is another prominent emotion in grief. According to research by Shear et al. (2007), individuals often experience guilt related to their relationship with the deceased, feeling that they could have done more or that they are somehow responsible for the loss.
4. Profound Sorrow: Profound sorrow, also referred to as a pervasive sense of emptiness and longing, is a hallmark of grief. Research by Wortman and Silver (1989) highlights how the depth of sorrow experienced in grief can be overwhelming and enduring.

The emotional turmoil of grief, if left unaddressed, is so drastic to health. Research by Prigerson et al. (1997) indicates that prolonged or complicated grief can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, and other mental health challenges. Additionally, the physiological stress response associated with grief can have adverse effects on physical health (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 1995).

Managing grief and loss can be a challenging process, but there are straightforward and practical steps you can take to implement strategies for coping effectively. Let’s break down these steps in an easily manageable way, incorporating relevant research and researchers’ insights.

• Acknowledge Your Emotions: Research by Dr. James W. Pennebaker has shown that simply acknowledging and expressing your emotions can be a powerful first step in managing grief. Take time each day to recognize and label your feelings. This can be as simple as saying, “I feel sad today,” or “I’m angry about the loss.”
• Create a Grief Journal: Building on Dr. Pennebaker’s work, start a grief journal to express your thoughts and emotions. Write freely about your experiences, memories, and feelings related to the loss. This form of expressive writing, as studied by Pennebaker, can help you process your grief and find emotional relief.
• Practice Mindfulness: Research by Dr. Charles A. Burke has highlighted the benefits of mindfulness practices in grief management. Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine by taking a few minutes to focus on your breath, sensations, or the present moment. Apps and online resources can guide you through mindfulness exercises.
• Set Realistic Expectations: Dr. Sidney Zisook’s research emphasizes the importance of setting realistic expectations for your grief journey. Understand that grief is a process, and healing takes time. Avoid putting pressure on yourself to “get over it” quickly. Be patient and gentle with yourself.
• Seek Support: Joining a grief support group, as suggested by Dr. Robert A. Neimeyer, can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Look for local or online groups where you can connect with others who have experienced similar losses. Sharing your feelings with empathetic individuals can ease your burden.
• Maintain Physical Well-Being: Dr. Janice K. Kiecolt-Glaser’s research highlights the importance of physical self-care. Ensure you are getting enough rest, eating nourishing foods, and engaging in regular physical activity. Physical well-being is closely tied to emotional resilience.
• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Dr. George A. Bonanno’s work on cognitive-behavioural techniques can be helpful. If you notice negative thought patterns related to your grief, challenge them by questioning their validity. Are these thoughts based on evidence, or are they making your grief harder to bear?
• Consider Professional Help: If your grief becomes overwhelming or leads to severe mental health issues, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists, counsellors, and psychiatrists, as recommended by Dr Sidney Zisook, have the expertise to provide personalized support and interventions.
• Create Rituals: Dr. Camille B. Wortman and Dr. Roxane Cohen Silver’s research underscores the importance of rituals in grief processing. Establish meaningful rituals or traditions that allow you to honour and remember your loved one. Lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or creating a memory box can provide comfort.
• Connect with Loved Ones: Dr. M. Katherine Shear’s research on grief counselling emphasizes the significance of connection. Reach out to friends and family members for support. Share stories and memories of your loved one. Connecting with others can provide solace and strengthen your support network.

By following these manageable steps, grounded in research by experts in the field, It may help manage grief and you may work towards healing. Remember that each person’s grief journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Be patient with yourself, seek support when needed, and allow your healing process to unfold at its own pace.

Read more Articles from Psychologs

• How to handle Grief?
• Understanding Black Grief
• What are some Stages of Grief?
• The Therapist’s Journey through Grief
• Understanding Grief Therapy And Its Interventions
• Coping with Grief and Loss: A Guide for Young Adults
• What happens when grief is not accepted: Disfranchised grief