How to Deal with your Mental Health during major Life Transitions?

The only thing constant is change

Life is not always a bed of roses. It takes us through an unexpected journey of turns. Some transitions are anticipated  (marriage or retirement), and others are abrupt and unexpected (loss of a loved one or unemployment ). Each time is close to one chapter of one’s life and the beginning of another. When faced with transitions, each person handles them uniquely, shaped by their characteristics and life experiences. These changes vary greatly among individuals, influencing how they adapt and respond to new chapters unfolding in their lives.

Life transitions can be challenging and tough because:

• It’s a change: Regardless of the change being positive or negative, it demands a significant amount of energy and effort to adapt to new circumstances
• Increased stress: Transitions always bring added stress be it positive or negative. Sometimes it’s eustress (like moving to a city), or distress (like losing a loved one).
• Unexpected ones: Like the loss of a loved one, job loss, accidents, and pandemics can deeply affect individuals because they catch us by surprise, leaving us unprepared to cope with their impact.

Bruce Feiler, an American author in his book “Life is in the Transitions” outlines that major life transitions typically unfold in three phases:

1. The long goodbye: This is the initial phase where one should confront all emotions associated with the life transition and accept the fact change has happened.
2. The messy middle: This phase is about letting go of the past and developing new habits and perspectives to prepare for the future. 
3. The new beginning: The period marks the start of a new journey in life.

Feiler also suggests that getting stuck in the first two phases can hinder our ability to move forward into the next chapter of our lives. To cross the first two phases quickly, here are some ways you can try:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

Recognize your emotions and understand that it’s normal to respond emotionally to a change. It’s okay to express yourself. Acknowledge all your feelings without holding them in. Find healthy ways to release pent-up emotions. Ensure that it’s productive and doesn’t harm your overall well-being.

2. Keep yourself grounded

Find ways to keep yourself grounded. It might be mindful breathing, meditation, guided imagery, exercise at the gym, positive self-talk, staying connected with loved ones, practising gratitude, journaling, observing nature, petting an animal, taking walks, gardening and more. Find out what resonates with you and practice it. These can support your mental health during times of major life transitions.

3. You don’t have to do it alone

You don’t have to face challenges alone. Identify your loved ones who genuinely support you and keep them close for life. Share your feelings and experiences with them instead of keeping everything pent up. Set boundaries to ensure you only let trustworthy people into your inner circle. If needed, consider psychotherapy as a supportive option. It’s okay to seek professional help to improve your well-being, even if you’re not in a crisis.

4. Being firm in one’s religion 

Strong religious faith can provide a foundation for navigating life transitions more effectively. While it may not be universally easy, faith encourages you to trust in divine guidance and can offer a perspective that sees major life changes as an opportunity for personal growth and development.

5. Take the time you need

Take your time. Don’t rush the process. Take small steps and pay attention to all your feelings along the way. Discover what coping strategy suits you best and incorporate it into your routine. Remember, everyone heals at their own pace, so be patient with your healing journey to avoid relapse later in life.

Mental health is hard but getting help shouldn’t be. You have to do better for yourself and for your loved ones. Remember life’s goes on, no matter what. Adapting sooner can hurt less. Prioritize your mental health and stay focused on improving your mindset for lasting positive changes

FAQs

1. When should I get professional help?

If the stress, anxiety, and depression following the major life transitions persist and disrupt your daily life activities such as loss of appetite, sleep difficulties, inability to concentrate, and finding it hard to talk with people whom you were once comfortable with. In short, when the symptoms begin to interfere with your daily life activities, then it’s time to seek professional help.

2. How can I use major life transitions as an opportunity for personal growth?

Adopting a mindset that everything comes your way is a lesson that helps you grow and can help you embrace new experiences and learn from them. Each new experience offers valuable lessons to be learned and mastered. Cultivating resilience and adaptability can help. Also developing a strong faith in God provides strength during tough times, offering reassurance that challenges are part of a divine plan aimed at making you stronger and better.

3. Why is using substances not a good way to cope?

Using substances to cope might seem like a quick fix, but it’s important to understand what true coping means. Coping should be something that benefits you both in the short term and the long term. Substances can provide temporary relief, but they can also have lasting negative effects on your health and well-being. Media often portrays substances as an easy solution, but this isn’t reality. True coping strategies should help you and those around you, whereas substances can be harmful to both.

4. Is it okay to use the same coping mechanism that someone else used for the same life transition?

No, you cannot simply adopt the same coping mechanism as someone else. Each person heals at their own pace, influenced by their unique characteristics and experiences. Healing can vary from months to years depending on the individual’s circumstances. It’s important to avoid comparing yourself to others, as everyone responds differently to challenges. While you can listen to recommendations from others, it’s crucial to introspect and find coping strategies that suit you best.