How to Deal with Emotional Flooding, According to Psychologists

Can you remember a time when you experienced too many emotions, so much so that they seemed to fill up your throat, your body being flooded with them? Well, let’s learn what this emotional flooding phenomenon is, and how to deal with it. 

What is Emotional Flooding? 

As explained by Clinical Psychologist Shiwani Kohli, Emotional flooding is like a high tide of intense emotions wherein the body shuts down temporarily. The situation becomes so overwhelming for the person that it becomes difficult to manage one’s feelings or think clearly. The symptoms of this bodily reaction look like the anxiety symptoms but can vary from person to person such as increased heart rate, heaviness in breadth, lack of concentration, muscle stiffness, aggression and a strong will to leave or escape the situation. The term emotional flooding was described by psychologist John Gottman to describe the “flood” of stress hormones that can emerge in situations that evoke feelings of helplessness and threat.

Impact of Emotional Flooding 

You may experience emotional flooding as if a tidal wave washes over you, leaving you exhausted. It can mess with your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being in the short term, and if left unchecked, it can have lasting negative effects. The good news is that you can regain control! By learning healthy ways to manage your emotions, you’ll be building mental muscles that will help you weather any emotional storm. 

Consider it your emotional equivalent of going to the gym. You wouldn’t expect to get super strong without ever lifting weights, right? Emotional flooding can be like that – it’s an unpleasant experience, but it can be an opportunity to learn and grow. Every time you deal with those tough emotions and come out okay on the other side, you’re getting stronger and more confident in your ability to handle them. It’s a tough journey, but the payoff is huge – better decision-making, smoother conflict resolution, and stronger, more meaningful relationships.

As per Shiwani, “Emotional flooding can be caused both by internal or external stressors in one’s life, his underlying ongoing stress irrespective the person acknowledges that stress or not. People with past traumas, chronic untreated stress, genetic predispositions, people with emotional dysregulation and those with cognitive distortion. Apart from that, interpersonal conflicts, loss or grief can also be triggering factors.”

“However, if one learns to identify the triggers, one can help to cope with the overflow of the emotions.  Exercises such as grounding techniques and focusing on the breath can help. Slowing down your breathing increases the amount of oxygen that goes to your muscles. It also helps to slow down your body systems, resulting in a decrease in heart rate, decreased muscle tension, and less sweating. In turn, these changes lead to your thoughts slowing down a little bit and your anxiety level is lowered.”

How to Manage during Times of Emotional Flooding 

1. Know your Triggers:

The first step to staying calm is figuring out what makes you tick. Triggers can be anything from annoying people to a lack of sleep. Become a detective of your own emotions! Pay attention to situations that make you feel overwhelmed, angry, or anxious. 

According to Clinical Psychologist Vigraanth Bapu KG, “Reflect on circumstances or thoughts that trigger emotional overwhelm. Maintaining a journal to monitor emotional responses and pinpointing triggers is beneficial. Once identified, one can devise strategies to either evade or cope effectively with these triggers.”

2. Calming Techniques in Your Pocket:

Feeling the flood coming? Don’t panic! To calm a situation, use these strategies: 

Breathe Easy: Try box breathing or the 4-7-8 breathing technique. The 4-7-8 breathing technique calls for four seconds of inhalation, seven seconds of holding the breath, and eight seconds of exhalation. These calm you down and slow down your nervous system. “A great way to cope with emotional flooding in the moment is to take a step back and breathe. Remove yourself from the situation, if possible. Then, take a deep breath. This can help regulate the nervous system, calm your nerves, and make it easier to think.” says Shiwani.

Conscious Grounding: Are you feeling overpowered? The grounding practice 5-4-3-2-1 may be useful. List the following: 5 objects that you can see, 4 that you can touch, 3 that you can hear, 2 that you can smell, and 1 that you can taste. This little action returns you to the here and now.  

“When feeling inundated by emotions, grounding exercises can be beneficial. Focus on physical feelings like the touch of your feet on the ground or the feeling of a cold object in your hand. Physical activities like jumping jacks can also be employed.” says Vigraanth.

3. Treat Yourself with Kindness:

Negative self-talk is simple to slip into when you’re feeling triggered. But keep in mind, you wouldn’t treat a buddy badly, so why would you do that to yourself? Take care of yourself with kindness and develop self-compassion. “Acknowledge the validity of feeling overwhelmed. Remind yourself that emotions are transient. Cultivating self-compassion can expedite emotional recovery and enhance resilience.“

4. Self-Healing:

Create a personal toolkit of gratifying self-care activities. Exercise, nature excursions, reading, or a soothing bath could all fit this description. Decide what works for you and incorporate it into your daily routine. As per Vigraanth, “Physical exercise is an effective mechanism for managing intense emotions. It prompts the release of endorphins, which elevate mood and alleviate stress. Activities like walking, running, or practising yoga can be particularly helpful.”

5. Counselling:

You don’t have to go through this alone. Understanding your triggers and developing effective coping techniques can be significantly improved with therapy. Consider options such as talking to your friends or scheduling sessions with a therapist to get the support you need. 

“Talking to a mental health professional is very important. It will not only help to resolve the surface problem but also the underlying issues if any. Always remember, that talking about your issues to a mental health professional/clinical psychologist is a mark of strength. Seeking therapy can heal your problems.” Says Shiwani.

6. Press the Pause Button:

Do you feel like you’re going to snap? There are moments when it’s smart to take a break. A  strategic moment of silence can be your best tool in the fight against excessive emotion. 

Vigraanth says that one should Direct their attention to the present moment. They should Engage in practices like deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or attentive observation of their environment. These techniques aid in restoring emotional equilibrium.

7. Give Yourself a Little Room:

A timeout can be compared to pressing the pause button on a remote control. It enables you to remove yourself from the circumstance and collect yourself before acting. Everyone needs to know this, even partners and parents. 

“Occasionally, a temporary diversion can effectively mitigate intense emotions. Engage in pursuits like reading, listening to music, or watching a film. Distraction techniques can assist in alleviating emotional intensity.”

8. Parents:

Let’s face it, being a parent is difficult! It’s acceptable to pause if you sense your emotions becoming overwhelming. Make arrangements for a partner, friend, or family member to watch your child as part of your support system so you may take a little break. 

9. Break Free from Unhealthy Relationships:

If you’re in a violent or abusive relationship, know that you deserve better. Emotional flooding can be a symptom of a larger problem. Focus on getting yourself safe by leaving the relationship.  

10. Diffuse Before You Defuse in a Couple:

Arguments are inevitable, but they don’t have to blow up in your face. Call a timeout if you or your partner are feeling overburdened! Take this time to collect yourself so that you can return to the discussion later when you’re more composed. To acquire communication skills that can completely avoid emotional flooding, think about attending couples counselling.

Remember, taking a timeout is not giving up, it’s taking control. By giving yourself (or someone you care about) a chance to calm down, you can approach situations with a clearer head and avoid making things worse. 

FAQs 

What is a fight or flight response? 

The physiological response that takes place when confronted with anything physically or psychologically alarming is referred to as the fight-or-flight response. Hormones that prime your body to either stay and confront a threat or flee to safety are released, causing this reaction. 

What are some signs of emotional flooding? 

Emotional flooding symptoms might differ depending on the person experiencing it, what caused it, and other circumstances. Anxiety symptoms including avoidance behaviours, fast breathing, or withdrawal might be similar to emotional flooding. Stress can cause some people to lose attention; however, others may experience physical discomfort, stiff muscles, or a racing heart.