How Mutual Respect Transforms Relationships for the Better

The word ‘respect’ is used to convey that one admires the other person’s character regarding his/her attitudes and beliefs among many other things. When we add the word ‘mutual’ to this context, we are now talking about respect as a two-way street. Respect for one another is a pretty basic idea. It indicates that you are considerate and polite to your partner or spouse. It indicates that you refrain from being impolite and disrespectful to one another, for as by not using derogatory names or disparaging your spouse or partner.

Additionally, it indicates that you do not shun, neglect, or speak rudely to your companion. Last but not least, mutual respect indicates that you give your partner’s beliefs, desires, and values careful thought. Although it may seem easy, treating your partner or spouse with respect requires constant work. Respect involves both the presence of positive behaviours and the absence of negative ones. 

It takes work to maintain respect during a relationship. Since we are all human, we frequently tend to return the favour if someone starts treating us badly, carelessly, or disrespectfully. Mutual disdain perpetuates this habit. The likelihood that the other spouse or partner will act similarly increases with the degree of rudeness and inconsideration displayed by one partner.

As a result, disrespect can escalate to the point where the majority of interactions are marked by sarcastic, careless, accusatory, critical, and degrading behaviour. The disrespect isn’t often so clear, though. More subtly destructive kinds of disrespect can be displayed by spouses or partners, such as neglecting their spouse or partner or reacting indifferently to them.

Read More: Let’s sort it out: Importance of Healthy communication in relationships

Mutual Respect in a Good Relationship looks like this

• Speaking candidly and frankly with one another: Having a relationship where you can talk about things freely. A safe space to talk is a huge factor in keeping things healthy. Keeping things inside will lead to resentment as we already talked about in the previous section. 
• Paying attention to one another: One needs to be observant of the other’s behaviour. As they say, actions speak louder than words. Sometimes, we can just observe and figure out if things are going wrong. 
• Making a compromise: It is necessary to find common ground during times of conflict. It is easy to push forward one’s ideas but it is much more advisable to be considerate of the other side as well. Making a compromise helps both partners 
• Giving each other space and being respectful of one another: Having a personal space is important for every person. Crossing the boundary here can be detrimental for both partners. 
• Supporting one another’s careers, interests, and pastimes: Every person is different. One needs to be considerate of the other’s interests along with one’s own. This means assisting them with a few hobbies that they might have. If your partner likes to paint, maybe you can buy them high-quality materials or spend some time painting together. 
• Respecting one another’s limits at all times: Everyone has a boundary they maintain around them. For example: Some people like physical touch and others don’t. One can take this into account when they are around their partner. Constant touching can feel like a violation if it persists over a long enough time frame. 

Read More: What Happens When You Let a Third Party Control Your Conflicts

What Does a Lack of Mutual Respect Lead To?

1. Loss of connection: One can feel ‘disconnected’ from their partner. It can be described as a feeling of detachment. Over a long enough time frame, this can lead to separation as well. This is because a ‘connection’ is what people seek with their partners. If they feel that there isn’t one, they probably won’t stick around in the hope of having it again. 
2. Low self-esteem: One can often feel that maybe they don’t deserve respect in the first place. This is a self-detrimental attitude that makes one spiral into low self-esteem. They may feel that this is how they are supposed to be treated. In other words, it makes people ‘shell up’. 
3. Anger and resentment: It is very easy to build up anger against a person you are close with. People often hide this to keep things good and cozy but suppressing any emotion doesn’t work well in the long term. 

How to Cultivate Mutual Respect?

1. Make Communication Effective

Words carry a lot of weight in relationships. Hence, it is important to think twice before speaking as the same sentence can be interpreted in a ton of ways. We can try to have a non-condescending tone that is devoid of any judgment whatsoever. This can help us establish a clear line of communication where thoughts and feelings can be exchanged smoothly.

2. Accepting the Fact that People are Different

We often try to see the world and its people from our perspective. We fail to recognize the fact that each of us had a different upbringing as well as different experiences throughout our lives. The universe has made each one of us truly unique. Every human is a different world in itself.  We need to internalize this thought and try to look at our partner as someone different from us. Instead of criticising one another, we can embrace their differences, opinions, and imperfections. It will help us see and comprehend things from our partner’s point of view.

3. Everyone is an Individual

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that the people involved in it aren’t individuals anymore. Everyone needs their own space to function properly. Any infringement in this space is usually not welcomed and can easily lead to conflict in the relationship. 

4. Throw Fear Out of the Window

If neither partner acknowledges their anxieties and distances themselves from the present circumstance, a partnership founded on mutual trust cannot be established. Furthermore, it is crucial that you let your spouse know if you find yourself wanting to respond to them in a fearful manner. This can help you better understand each other and strengthen your bond, in addition to preventing your fear from destroying your love.

Respecting your spouse is vital in a relationship, but it’s equally critical to respect yourself, whether you’re dating or not. The secret to gaining confidence and preserving positive interpersonal interactions throughout your life is self-respect.  What exactly is self-respect, then? Accepting yourself as a complete individual is a sign of self-respect. It doesn’t imply that you believe you are flawless; in reality, we are all deserving of respect despite our imperfections. Simply by being who you are, you are valuable and worthy. Self-respect entails trying not to worry too much about what other people think of you and holding yourself to your own standards. 

Read More: Importance of Self-Respect in Relationships

Conclusion

What if you believe that the relationship is worth working on but that the above suggestions are unlikely to be successful enough? Try just one session with a relationship counsellor who has been highly recommended by a friend or on a review website. Why just one session? Because, even though your problem is unlikely to be resolved in one or even three sessions, that first session should provide enough to give you hope; if not, it might be wiser to try a session with someone else until you leave the first session feeling more optimistic.