Dreaming of a Relationship Like Geet & Aditya? Build Your Love Story with Healthy Relationship Dynamics!

Now that I have your attention, it’s known worldwide how admirable certain couples have been over time. Whether it’s Naina and Bunny from YJHD, or Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, we’ve all aspired to such romantic ideals. But is it realistic? Can we have the same dream-like relationships?

What do we mean by “Understanding Relationship Dynamics”?

The patterns of behaviour that arise between people in the ways we relate to, engage with, and communicate with one another are known as relationship dynamics. Understanding relationship dynamics involves figuring out how your partner interacts with you (expressing feelings verbally or through cues), communicates with you, and their love language (actions, words, quality time). It also encompasses how your emotional responses influence each other.

Why is it important to Understand this?

Each individual has a unique personality. This unique personality also means they have different ways of dealing with different things. Hence, communication is the key. Aditya mostly played the role of being an active listener, while Geet was verbally very expressive. Similarly, it is not important to have a partner to be an active listener; they can also be a very expressive verbal communicator same as you are. Understanding and appreciating each other’s characteristics is more important than finding a mate who fits a certain template.

Read More: Let’s sort it out: Importance of Healthy communication in relationships

So, it is wrong to aspire to have such Relationships?

Not! Everybody has expectations, but it is wrong to impose/ try to change the person. Every individual has traits and choices that they have built over the years. It would be unfair to ask a person to change for another, although it is not wrong to communicate your needs. 

How do we have this conversation? Does it come Naturally?

It is important to understand that not every relationship is dream-like, and there are always ups and downs. Understanding your partner involves maintaining healthy conversations about:

• How does your partner deal with confrontation: Do they face you, withdraw, or avoid the conversation?
• Are they emotionally expressive?: Is it easy to read their emotions, or do they hide/ suppress their feelings a lot? 
• Their attachment style: Do they have a secure, avoidant, anxious, or disorganized attachment style?
• Setting boundaries and Independence: What can/ cannot your partner have a say in without disregarding their feelings?
• Building trust and commitment: With time, make sure there is a sense of security and an adequate level of trust. 
• Intimacy and affection: Talk about consent; what you are/ and not are comfortable with, and how you like expressive love towards each other.
• Discussing your core values and beliefs: They might not align, which is okay. You need to be respectful and accepting of their values, including their culture.
• State your expectations and roles: What do you expect from your partner; the goal of your relationship and where do you see them; as well as how certain traditional/ non-traditional gender roles could affect your relationship.

But What if my Relationship isn’t like Geet-Aditya’s? Is it toxic?

You cannot compare your relationship with fictional characters, or even other relationships. These portrayals are not accurate and involve a lot of dramatic elements. The term “toxic”, although is thrown around a lot these days, must be used carefully. A relationship goes through ups and downs, and every person will have their own set of values and pet peeves. It is important to communicate them with time. 

Then what are Toxic Relationships?

Simply put, it is when your relationship dynamic has more negative aspects than positive ones. There is poor communication, lack of trust, manipulation and control, abuse (emotional or physical), unhealthy dependency, lack of support, unresolved fights, neglect, disregard, or obsessive control. For example, gaslighting, over-possessiveness, constant criticism and blame, are examples of it. This of Kabir Singh, a classic example of a toxic relationship. Kabir exhibited a lot of controlling behaviour, along with outbursts of anger and violence. He was over-possessive of Preeti, hindering her independence and personal growth, as well as a lack of respect was evident. 

But what do I do to get a healthy Relationship?

Relationships are not a wish to be granted but are built with a lot of patience, effort and most importantly, love. You should never rush in, rather wait for the right time and understand the relationship dynamic and ensure it’s something you want. A healthy relationship is one where both partners understand and respect each other, building a strong foundation together.

Read More: Tips to help you and your partner reconnect after a break in the relationship: A Psychological Perspective

But Does this Apply to Only Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Husband/Wife?

Remember Ram (Aamir Khan) and Ishaan (Darsheel Safari) from the movie “Taare Zameen Par”? They had a very similar theme in terms of coming to an understanding of their relationship with each other. Ram supported Ishaan’s talent, showed empathy and patience, tried to understand Ishaan’s perspective and provided him with personalized support. Similar themes can be observed in movies like “Piku” (between Piku and Bhashkor’s relationship), “Hum saath-saath hai” (where the entire family is aware of each other’s quirks and traits, yet are very supportive and accepting), and many more.

Read More: Why Taking a Break Can Make Your Relationship Stronger (and how to do that)

In conclusion, even though it’s normal to long for perfect relationships like those portrayed in films, it’s critical to realize that genuine relationships need work, patience, and communication. Every relationship is different and requires negotiating dynamics that work for the people in it. Building a strong relationship requires that you both understand how to engage, communicate, and react emotionally. Similar to a dance, a partnership depends on mutual understanding, synchronization, and a readiness to change pace with one another.