Finding Beauty in Sorrow: The Psychology of Why We Enjoy Sad Things

Do you sometimes pick movies like Past Lives, La La Land, and 500 Days of Summer over fairytale-coded romance movies? Do you listen to melancholic songs like “Heartbreak Anniversary” or “Moral of the Story” even when you’re not sad? Have you ever felt better listening to such sad music or watching sad movies with tragic endings? On the surface level, the notion that we would enjoy sadness is a paradox. Who would deliberately seek out sorrow, grief, or despair after all? And yet, from Adele’s heart-wrenching ballads to the tragic plot turns of the film, it’s evident that sadness has a special kind of power over us. It pulls us in, engages our feelings, and lingers with us. But why? Why do we keep coming back to these profoundly melancholic experiences? 

This article delves into the psychological, emotional, and cultural explanations for our complicated relationship with sad things. Our affinity for sorrow appears not as mystifying as it seems; it could simply be a necessary component of our human existence. 

Psychology of Enjoying Sad Media: 

One of the main psychological explanations for why we are attracted to sad things is the idea of catharsis—the emotional cleansing that results from facing sorrow or pain in a safe setting. When we see a moment of sadness on a film screen or listen to a sad song, we allow ourselves to feel and release emotions we may otherwise internalize. Allowing ourselves this release, in turn, evokes a sense of relief as if we were releasing pent-up feelings in a secure setting. Catharsis helps us to process and retain our emotional lives, and hence, sadness becomes an occasion for purging the soul. 

What’s it like Inside the Brain? 

As we experience sadness, the brain can release dopamine as compensation for experiencing it. This process explains why individuals may feel a sense of satisfaction or even a subtle high after watching an emotional movie. Although the film evokes sadness, it can still leave viewers with a positive or relieving sensation. Further, watching sad media also causes the release of endorphins, which are natural painkillers the brain releases. These chemicals assist in minimizing feelings of emotional distress and augment a sense of relief. The emotional experience of feeling sad—especially the resolution or catharsis that ensues—can stimulate these reward systems within the brain and produce a feeling of emotional relief or even euphoria.

Lysn psychologist Nancy Sokarno describes how experiencing traumatic or sad material when depressed might seem counter-intuitive, but ultimately feels better. Research suggests that watching a film that evokes strong emotions can increase pain tolerance and enhance a sense of connection with others. This happens because our brains release endorphins during these emotionally intense moments, creating a bonding effect. This neurochemical reaction highlights an interesting aspect of psychology: we don’t seek out sad material just to experience pain. Instead, our brain associates it with emotional catharsis and relief. In reality, the experience of working through and witnessing sadness in a controlled, imaginary setting may provide emotional dividends, allowing us to feel more empowered over our emotions and more bonded with others who have experienced the same. 

Mirror Neurons

When we see a character in a movie hurt, cry, or go through difficulty, our mirror neurons are triggered, making us feel a replica of the character’s feelings ourselves. This is especially strong when we’re watching characters go through such significant loss or sorrow. With empathy, mirror neurons enable us to connect with the hurt or sadness that we see strongly. This link allows us to work through our own emotions by enabling us to feel them vicariously through somebody else. 

Why do we Perceive Sad media the way it is Represented? 

Think about ‘Up’ (2009), a Pixar animation that begins with a lighthearted love story only to leave on a tragedy. The emotional complexity of Carl’s experience, struggling with grief over the loss of his dear wife, Ellie, pulls at our emotions because it resembles our struggles with loss and the intricacies that come with it. The anguish that Carl endures in the film is universally relatable. As we see him get on with life without Ellie, we remember our loved ones, and the movie’s wistful sadness has an emotional impact that makes us appreciate the passing joys in our lives. 

Similarly, Coco (2017) portrays sorrow alongside a deep sense of nostalgia for tradition and family. It also highlights the significance of the Day of the Dead, a time when the living remember and honor those who have passed away. The movie’s theme of loss, remembrance, and bonding resonates deeply. It shows that the connections we build with loved ones continue even after they pass away. And because of both these elements–disappointment and affection–the movie “Coco” remains a poignant testament to how memory can transcend despondence. In both these movies, the sorrow feels translatable—something we all have. It is not merely a matter of bereavement but of how this bereavement becomes a component of us that eventually leads us to a clearer understanding of what we are. Nostalgia turns sorrow into a kind of emotional development that can be pretty reassuring. 

La La Land (2016) reminds us that dreams are worth chasing, even if they don’t have a tidy, happy conclusion. Past Lives (2023) describes the profound pain of lost possibilities. The melancholy in Past Lives arises from the fact that we are living with the choices we have made, the roads not traveled, and the bittersweet knowledge that not every love or encounter is destined to continue. Raanjhanaa (2013) and Rockstar (2011) introduce us to individuals whose passion and yearning equal the intensity of our turmoil. Ultimately, the attractiveness of sad things has nothing to do with the consolation they provide through the alleviation of our life appearing superior, but in their more authentic, more accurate alignment to the complexities of human nature. 

Conclusion: 

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So, finally, why do we like sad things? The answer is that the brain allows you to be more human when sad. It helps you be more empathetic and affectionate about the people around you. Sad things enables you to accept the complementary nature of worldly circumstances. They remind you that being sad is not an entirely unpleasant experience. It is just a part of human existence.