Domestic Violence: Don’t Be The Ostrich             

The Ostrich hides its head in sand to save itself from predators, this might be a Myth… but individuals who do this are not a myth. Many people facing domestic violence deny accepting it as violence, which doesn’t actually help them anyway, but it surely gives more power to their partners.

It’s normal for partners to get into arguments and disagreements every now and then, but the fine line is ‘how it makes you feel’. If it does instill a feeling of fear in you it for sure is domestic violence or at least the beginning of it, for you to acknowledge.

The interesting fact is, that anyone may be a victim of domestic violence, it surpasses the boundaries of education, financial status, employment status, gender, or anything that you may think of. Even more interesting is the fact that our idea of domestic violence is a huge one… and we believe it is only physical assault by the partner, while it actually might not fit in with your concept of domestic violence initially, you might not even realize when it becomes so.

Most commonly it begins with undermining you, your abilities, your job, and your family casually in ‘what appears as harmless jokes’, gradually increasing the frequency of them and changing the types while testing your patience. The silence of the victim then encourages the partner to go on and cross the boundaries, one after the other.

Read More: The Impact of Domestic Violence on Women’s Mental Health

10 Commonly Experienced Indicators of Domestic Violence Include

1. Your life gets monitored and controlled: YOUR life, whether online or offline gets controlled by your partner, they stalk you everywhere, wherever you go, whatever you post, they have a remark to make in all situations. They instruct you on what you should and should not be doing.
2. You find yourself fitting into the mould of their choice: Slowly, yet gradually, you start changing yourself to fit into their choice and preference, you lose your self-esteem and look forward to your partner for approval of your actions, you seek admiration from them for all you do.
3. You develop a habit of seeking ‘permission’ from your partner in almost all decisions: You look forward to a ‘sanction’ from your partner for everything, maybe as small as the colour of your shirt, or as big as buying a property. You don’t proceed with your plans without a ‘nod’.
4. Your partner loses their temper easily and over minor things: On very small things you observe your partner losing their temper, ranging from bad moods to shouting loudly at people around, one does this to exercise better control over surroundings.
5. You and your relations are often made fun of publicly: It starts as a fun activity, which you think doesn’t harm, but, your partner is testing your limits with every act, and your smile provides the reinforcement to continue.
6. You are forced to have sex, just to make your partner happy: Even if you are not in mood, you do it just to make your partner happy, or to avoid the aftereffects of it you choose the less painful thing of the two.
7. You hide things from your partner, just to avoid any uneasy situations: You don’t want to hide away anything, but you prefer staying quiet on certain matters just to avoid arguments or uneasiness at home.
8. You realize that your own world revolves only around the needs of your partner: When you prioritize your routine according to your partner, you think of your spouse’s needs before your own.
9. Your partner hits you or your children: This stage is a clear indication of you being a victim beyond doubt, and even a single incident has to be addressed seriously.
10. You feel afraid of your partner: You start fearing your partner’s response to what you have done, let it be a visit to a friend or it be online shopping.

Read More: The Role of Domestic Violence Counseling in Healing and Recovery

Most of these signs when experienced in a relationship are not identified, by the victims, as domestic violence, but if these signs go unchecked, they certainly lead to serious problems. It’s high time we understand and acknowledge that Domestic Violence doesn’t take place in one day, it’s a gradual process that progresses one step further with every act of ignorance.