Can One Be Friends with their Therapist?: Psychologist Speaks

The therapeutic relationship might be described as one of the most important factors in successful therapy for patients within the world of mental health. This process provides a safe, empathetic, and supportive atmosphere in which clients can share their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. However, trouble starts when the professional boundaries are less than clear-cut. So can you be friends with your therapist? It is in this context that this essay will discuss the implications of friendships formed with therapists, looking at both the ethical and emotional, as well as practical dimensions of the question.

Understanding the Therapeutic Relationship

To address the specific issue of potential friendships between a therapist and a client, one would do well to first understand the nature of the therapeutic relationship. A therapeutic relationship is predicated upon trust, confidentiality, and professionalism. Therapists are taught through proper training how to keep their personal and professional lives strictly separated. Such separation ensures that the therapy remains a space in which the focus solely would be the needs of the client and not the complexities of a personal relationship.

If a therapist becomes a friend, their perspective becomes biased, leading them to judge the client’s situation through a personal lens and potentially direct the client’s choices.

According to Assistant Professor Garima Rajan, The primary reason we should not be friends with our therapist is that it compromises the professional relationship. When friendship is involved, a therapist can become biased toward the client, preventing them from being an impartial listener or providing effective strategies. Confidentiality and impartiality are crucial in therapy, whether it’s individual or couples counseling. A therapist should not take sides or have a “bargained stance” but rather help clients see things as they are and guide them to make their own decisions.

Maintaining professional boundaries is key. Engaging in personal friendships or out-of-office meetings undermines the therapeutic process. It’s unethical for a therapist and client to have an informal relationship, as it could cloud the therapist’s judgment. If a therapist becomes a friend, their perspective becomes biased, leading them to judge the client’s situation through a personal lens and potentially direct the client’s choices. In therapy, the therapist is meant to aid, not direct, the client. Personal involvement can compromise the therapy’s purpose, making it ineffective.

Read More: 5 things to know as a First-Time Therapist 

Ethical Considerations

An important argument against friendship with therapists lies in ethics. The American Psychological Association, just like other professional associations, has defined protocols for ethical behaviour in such a way that client interests are safeguarded. Most of the guidelines maintain that professional bounds must never be broken to obviate conflicts of interest, exploitation, or harm.

1. Power Dynamics:

In the therapeutic relationship, therapists hold a highly influential position, as they will be with the client throughout their journey of psychotherapy. This makes a power imbalance so significant that if a friendship emerged from this therapeutic relationship, the dynamics of such a relationship could become complicated. A friendship would blur such lines, and a therapist may lose the ability to guide objectively since objectivity is compromised by such a close personal relationship.

Read More: How do you know if therapy is working?

2. Objectivity and Professionalism:

A friendship brings in personal biases and emotions that will break the objectivity of the therapist. Therapists should provide unprejudiced feedback to the therapist that helps in maintaining professional detachment to successfully conduct the therapy. Friendship by its very nature speaks for investment in emotional terms, which would jeopardize the unprejudiced nature that good therapeutic support should be given by the therapist.

3. Confidentiality:

Therapists are contractually committed to promise confidentiality regarding not telling the secrets of their clients; therefore, a friend might share intimate information and personal experiences, which may indirectly come up in casual talk or through the ups and downs of a friendship.

Emotional Consequences

Moving from a therapeutic relationship to a friendship is indeed emotionally charged. Therapy is a very personal experience for clients, and they are often permitted to cross the boundary between themselves and their therapist. The therapeutic bond that can develop in such a period between the therapist and client is very strong. The attachment that develops sometimes becomes unhealthy unless taken care of. Such attachment transferred in the form of friendship further endorses unhealthy dependencies on the therapist, which will severely bar the development of the client as well as curtail their emotional independence.

1. Conflicting Feelings: The clients could also have mixed feelings about the friendly therapist whom they once dreaded. They could also have problems with the dual role that the therapist now plays, that is, being a confidant and a professional guide. It might cause some stress and anxiety while trying to experience the therapy procedures on their whole.
2. Effect on Therapy Process: The healing process depends on a specific dynamic between the therapist and the client. A friendship can shift this dynamic, which affects how well the client will open up or engage in tough self-reflection. Professional distance in therapy can make all the difference between making good progress.

Practical Considerations

Practically, professional and personal relationships have boundaries that are necessary for a therapy process to be effective and to stay intact.

1. Boundary Creation: Therapists are also taught the maintenance of boundaries and how to ensure that the setting remains safe for therapy. An added personal relationship can make this process complicated to manage effective professional boundaries.
2. Therapeutic Goals: Therapy has goals and objectives, and the focus is on the client’s betterment. Friendship could change this focus because the therapist may end up getting more entangled into the personal life of the client, which will blunt the clarity and therefore effectiveness of goals of therapy.
3. Ethical Dilemmas: However, whenever a friendship develops, ethical dilemmas begin to appear. It could be very challenging for a therapist to maintain their dual roles and ensure that professional responsibilities are not compromised. This could lead to breaches of ethics and potential harm to the client.

Views from Therapists and Clients

Most professionals strictly follow professional guidelines that limit any sort of friendship with a client. They consider it an absolute requirement for the maintenance of therapeutic integrity and good care of clients that keeping strictly separate professional and personal relations is essential.

Clients may feel otherwise, and it will not only depend on the therapist’s relationship-building skills but also whether they have developed a personal connection with the client. Some clients may want a very close and personal relationship; they may believe that friendliness between them will help them to feel better supported and understood by the therapist. However, that is not a reason for therapists not to know about the potential risks associated with such a transition.

The therapeutic alliance is the collaborative and trusting relationship between a therapist and client, which is crucial for effective therapy.

According to Counseling Psychologist Karnika Singh, The therapeutic alliance is the collaborative and trusting relationship between a therapist and client, which is crucial for effective therapy. It involves mutual respect, agreement on therapy goals, and a sense of partnership in the therapeutic process. That being said, therapists cannot be friends with their clients as it would blur professional boundaries and undermine the therapeutic relationship. Maintaining clear boundaries ensures that the focus remains on the client’s well-being and avoids conflicts of interest. For example, if we have a friend who doesn’t like our ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, we might hesitate to share that we’re thinking about getting back together out of fear of judgment. Similarly, if a therapist is also a friend, the client might avoid discussing things that the therapist disagrees with or dislikes, which can limit the openness necessary for effective therapy.

Alternatives to Friendship

If one is looking for something with more activity and engagement, there are options beyond forming a friendship with a therapist.

1. Support Groups: A support group may be an avenue for connection with others in the same situation. Even these types of support groups offer a kind of community and shared support with the limits and professionalism involved in therapy.
2. Social Networks: Outside of therapy, relationships with family, friends, or community groups can also provide additional emotional support that does not cross professional lines.
3. Longitudinal Support Services: Therapists frequently provide recommendations for other resources or services that complement the therapeutic process while providing emotional support which the client may desire.

Conclusion

In conclusion, The idea of “being friends with the therapist” may appeal to clients but raises ethical, emotional, and practical issues, making it a boundary that cannot be maintained without compromising the therapeutic process. A better alternative to making the therapeutic relationship a friendship would be finding alternative ways for such clients to meet their needs for support or connection, such as joining support groups or building close social connections. Therefore, the professional status of the therapist-client relationship is maintained to ensure that therapy remains focused only on the client’s development and interests.