Almost everyone goes through the process of losing someone significant to them at least once in their lives, whether romantically or otherwise, and it is never an easy process. The void that follows losing someone close to you is something everyone has experienced at some level. Losing a partner after a breakup or divorce has been identified by researchers as a major stressor regardless of the length of the relationship. Breakups are also linked to distressing outcomes such as loneliness and depression. Studies also show that the heightened negative emotions can also lead to physical pain which explains the tightness in your chest, fatigue and loss of appetite that usually comes after the loss
.However, no matter how awful, painful and messy this experience can be, it is an essential part of life. Even though navigating through it seems like the hardest thing in the world, as time passes you can see things from a fresh perspective. One of the most haunting questions that most people are left with after a relationship is “Who am I?” Because the reality is that breakups also mean losing your sense of self of who you are as a person. This is so because relationships are all about self-expansion.
When you decide to be with someone, you are introduced to a gamut of new ideas, cultures, traditions, hobbies, etc. Many people thrive in relationships when their experiences and horizons are broadened and they get to learn from their partner while doing things that are not a part of their daily routine. However, when the boundaries between both parties are blurred and your partner begins to become an extension of themselves, it is exactly what makes a breakup harder because it completely distorts your self-concept, making you question who you are now that they are gone.
When the person we would turn to for support, security, understanding and validation is no longer within reach, we feel more vulnerable and distressed. A study found that when people were asked to write a short self-description they made use of fewer unique words after a breakup, indicating the loss of sense of self. This can fundamentally change how you see yourself and romantic relationships, and in some cases even work up a fear of them causing you to build walls before you can get close to anyone. understanding and validation are no longer at reach, we feel more vulnerable and distressed.
A study found that when people were asked to write a short self-description they made use of fewer unique words after a breakup, indicating the loss of sense of self. This can fundamentally change how you see yourself and romantic relationships, and in some cases even work up a fear of them causing you to build walls before you can get close to anyone. understanding and validation are no longer at reach, we feel more vulnerable and distressed.
A study found that when people were asked to write a short self-description they made use of fewer unique words after a breakup, indicating the loss of sense of self. This can fundamentally change how you see yourself and romantic relationships, and in some cases even work up a fear of them causing you to build walls before you can get close to anyone.
Despite all the hurt and confusion that follows a breakup, it is safe to say that it allows you the opportunity to introspect and understand yourself in ways that you could not while in a relationship. If we adopt the attitude that no breakup is a failure, we can understand what went wrong, what we want in a partner that the previous relationship couldn’t satisfy, and who we want to be in a relationship and eventually tread the path of self-discovery. Ultimately, once you reach the phase of realization and acceptance of the loss, breakups can be a catalyst for spiritual and mental prosperity. When there is no one to run to for emotional comfort, we are forced to rely on ourselves.
One way a breakup helps us in personal advancement is by giving us the chance to get in touch with ourselves and what our core beliefs are. At this point, it would be good to ponder whether you liked an activity only because your partner liked it, or took a class only because your partner was interested or even if you pretended to like a band because it was your partner’s favourite. During this period, you can also establish your likes and dislikes while getting in touch with your mind and body such as where you go to feel calm, which song you can listen to on repeat, what food can put an instant smile on your face and even pick up hobbies that you left off or just never got around to doing.
This can be a critical time to ask yourself how you can also establish your likes and dislikes while getting in touch with your mind and body such as where you go to feel calm, which song you can listen to on repeat, what food can put an instant smile on your face and even pick up hobbies that you left off or just never got around to doing.
This can be a critical time to ask yourself how you can also establish your likes and dislikes while getting in touch with your mind and body such as where you go to feel calm, which song you can listen to on repeat, what food can put an instant smile on your face and even pick up hobbies that you left off or just never got around to doing.
This can be a critical time to ask yourself who you are and what you want to bring to the table, regardless of whether you are romantically involved with someone or not. Doing this will not only help you understand yourself better and create your own identity but also allow you to be more mindful while getting into a relationship again, should you choose to do so.
While a breakup aids in reconnection to your mind it can also immensely help in reconnection to friends and family. With the time you would spend with your partner now gone, you will seem to have a lot more free time on your hands which can be imperative in rekindling friendships. Relationships can often shut you out and cause you to neglect the other bonds in your life, so this time can be used to reach out and rebuild that connection with others.
This will not only help you build a solid support system to help you navigate through the breakup but also make you feel less lonely and sometimes even be a pick-me-up and distract you from the momentary pain that loss can bring. Having people around to understand what you are going through and remind you that how you feel is normal will also make you aware of the happiness you can feel apart from your romantic relationships.
Channelling your unhealthy emotions into productive streams such as work is also something that a breakup can push you into doing. Using the hurt as motivation to build your dream life and transform areas that were previously impossible is another way the loss can assist in your development.
Picking up projects you left off, putting your energy into working for a cause close to your heart or even improving to build new hobbies and experiences can cause a significant change in a positive direction, as these will boost your sense of self while at the same time creating memories that are circled you, distinct from your past relationship. Even though you may feel like you have hit rock bottom, it is important to remember that things can only go up from here. Time is truly the best healer for a broken heart and in hindsight, you may even realize that some doors have to close for new ones to open.
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