Why mothers need to build a strong relationship with their children?
Mothers hold a special place in a child’s life. It’s no coincidence that the child’s life circles around his/her mother as she is the one constant figure the child has seen throughout their lives. Raising a child by no means is an easy task; Mothers are responsible for inculcating values, ideals and morals and to help the child to form his own identity, personality, thus playing a crucial role in child’ life and development. Mother’s have an active role in a child's life. She helps the child to understand the way of life and the importance of things that are crucial for a person. The concept of family, discipline, routine, hard work, understanding one’s feelings and respect are some of the aspects where a mother comes into play. Mothers are also the child's first role model which automatically becomes a burden for anyone. The child observes the mother’s habits, behavior, how to handle relationships and situations. The child forms his own opinions, identity, habits on the basis of what he observes from his/her parents. So, if their parents were to showcase a strained relationship or any unhealthy habits and behavior, the child would automatically inculcate those in his own life. Hence, the mothers need to be attuned towards the child and what affects her own life and actions on the child. Mothers make us feel that we have someone whom we can rely on in our hardship, that we have a shoulder to cry on. She can also be someone to cheer us up or celebrate the happy moments that we have. A really great package deal I suppose.
We all have felt how our mothers know us in and out and understand us even when we do not share or express ourselves. According to several researchers, mothers are known to understand a child’s non verbal cues better than fathers. This helps the mother to help and forge a strong bond with the child further helping the child to adjust and prosper in life by being able to bring emotional, physical and behavioral changes if necessary. This also helps the child when he/she might not be able to express or share their problems with anyone which could potentially harm them mentally as well as physically. She serves as the emotional backbone to a child. A mother’s positive attitude and approach could help the child’s character, attitude and development. A pat on your back, goodnight kisses on your foreheads, the feel of her hands in your hair when she oils your hair are some of the small things and gestures which can determine the course of the child’s future. Mothers are hard to describe as they play different roles in our lives; Being our best friend to gossiping, sharing things with each other to being a companion in our hardships as well as in our happy and successful moments. She is understanding and supportive when we feel low, to cheer us up and she can be hard as a rock when she stands with us against the world. Even the social media in today’s time has been throwing light on the relationship of mothers with their child. It’s important to understand the reciprocal relationship. We have always been bombarded with facts, but how to apply the knowledge and be a good supportive parent at times becomes tedious. Here are some of the movies which show us different sides of a relationship between a mother and a child.
THE BLIND SIDE (2009)
Based on a true story, The Blind Side provides us with a precious mother-son relationship. The movie revolves around an African-American boy with a troubled past, being adopted by married couple Sean and Leanne Tuhoy. Michael, who had a history of going to several foster homes and being homeless sometimes because of his mother’s negligence and her addiction to drugs resulted in lack of self esteem and confidence while growing up. He received very little attention and discipline through his childhood which led to repetition of his first and second grades and attending eleven different schools during his first nine years as a student. Without a sense of stability in his life, it was hard for him to accept the love and care from his adopted family as well. The bond between the child and the mother in the earliest months makes a deep impact on the child's future. It depends on the mother how she can provide safe and secure environment to the child in order to have a positive influence on how the baby behaves in social and emotional settings, especially in later years. In the case of Michael, he didn't get the nurturing, or sense of security from his biological mother in his childhood which may have been the reason for his current behaviour. Because of the lack of attention from his mother, his development in several areas was compromised. He never got to experience the mother’s comfort, warmth, encouragement which led him to the place where he was right now. Sandra Bullock as Leanne, the adopted mother, gave us a splendid take on how providing love, care and sense of security to a vulnerable child can do wonders for the child. She takes Michael under her wing, adopts him, provides him with the basic necessities and support to pursue his dreams which he never got to experience earlier. With her mother’s and family’s support, Michael was able to conquer his goal which was to be a football player. Although he didn’t receive the same kind of treatment or got the same privileges as Collins and S.J. Tuohy when he was a kid but 17 years old Michael again got a chance to experience living in a family who loves and supports him through thick and thin. Michale was able to become the football star he is today because of the encouragement and support he got from his family and her adopted mother.
SECRET SUPERSTAR (2017)
Najma played by Meher Vij in the blockbuster Secret Superstar, gave us quite a performance on how mothers can go to any extent if it concerns their children. In the movie, her daughter Insia, wants to pursue her dream to become a singer. Her father strongly disagreed with the whole idea moreover, abused Najma on several occasions. Najma, being a supportive mother did everything in her power to provide her kids with everything they needed to be happy and pursue their dreams. She fights and saves her daughter from the clutches of patriarchy. She even goes to the length of selling her jewelry in order to get her daughter a laptop to help her record and post her videos knowing what consequences awaited her. She stood for her daughter and her dream in front of her husband and challenged the sexist rules of the world. Najma was the only reason why Insia was even able to think that her dream would one day come true. Without her mother’s support and guidance throughout her life she would still be stuck in the vicious circle of oppression and discrimination. The environment which was created by the mother for her children was built on the foundation of trust, comfort and love which was the sole reason why they understood and helped each other in their rough times.
Unfortunately, not every mother - daughter relationship is ideal. Disney’s Brave gives us a different perspective on the said relationship. Sometimes, we don't have the strongest or the closest relationship with our mothers, be it because of the absence of the mother, or differences between them about various topics. Merida and her mom Elinor go through something like that only. Elinor being the queen of the kingdom needed her daughter to understand the responsibilities of being princess of the kingdom and to uphold the family traditions of their family but on the other hand Merida, a free spirited girl wanting to live her life on her own terms rather than being groomed for hours and marry someone for the sake of our kingdom. The clashes between the ideologies had strained their relationship and drifted them apart. Merida, being fed up with her mother’s overbearing personality, decides to get help from a witch in order to change her mother’s mindset according to her own. Mistakes happen and before Merida knows the full extent of her decision, her mother is turned into a bear because of the potions. Throughout the journey of saving his mother, the pair started sorting out differences between them by understanding each other’s reasons to act in a certain way. Here communication played an important role. The queen is too busy to maintain a kingdom that she forgets to pay attention to her daughter and her feelings led Merida to always have a scuffle with her mother. Lack of interaction and understanding led them to this situation and the only way they could break the curse was by mending the bond that was torn by pride of Merida. In the end, they managed to acknowledge and understand each other’s emotions and were able to break the curse. The fierce protectiveness and lack of understanding and communication on mother’s part was the reason why they both had difficult relationships with each other. This movie shows us the importance of communication between the parents and the child and how it could potentially threaten their future relationships.
Mother-child relationship is truly an immensely close-knitted relationship. The earliest development of the child begins with the mother’s existence. Here’s to all mothers, love and support your children to the utmost core. Help them develop into good equipped human beings; they won’t let you and your expectations down.