Why is self- love so important?

Why is self- love so important?

Why self- love?

In this competitive world, if you want to be known, you must get up there. It is not easy. Facing numerous hurdles while climbing up the ladder, you may be left mentally exhausted and worried.

You start to doubt yourself when you are not able to achieve your goals. When there is a mishap or a failed relationship; when someone or something leaves you broken or when a dream crashes, you seem to become too hard on yourself. You start wondering ‘what’s wrong with me?’ rather than ‘what’s right with me?’ You feel ashamed, hurt, disgusted or hopeless.

Feeling upset and sad for a few weeks is one thing but blaming yourself for situations that aren’t in your control is another. If you come down hard on self, you will not be able to achieve what you wish for. Having compassion for yourself is as important as having love for the opposite person or your dream goal. Giving yourself enough time and space is as important as giving them to others.

What is self- love really?

When we talk about loving yourself, we are not talking about developing a narcissistic personality or being filled with pride and ego. It doesn’t even mean fantasising about yourself in the limelight. It just means that you need to see the good in yourself more often. Appreciate and motivate yourself for what you already have and work based on your intrinsic qualities.

When you are satisfied with yourself; when you treat your bad days as a part of life and not blame them on your weaknesses; when you pay more attention to your physical and mental health and take care of it by treating yourself with whatever makes you happy - you are showing self- love.

How do you practice or inculcate self- love?

1. Enjoy your own company: Start spending more time with yourself than being with people all the time. Go for lunch dates with yourself and groom yourself well. Spend time with your favourite activities. Rejuvenate yourself with some relaxing exercises or meditations.

2. Get to know yourself: Know what you are and aren’t capable of; what you should strive for and when it will be a waste of time and effort. With this kind of awareness, you can set life goals confidently knowing you have the potential needed to achieve them.

3. Have values that help you grow: Your actions, decisions and choices are all based on your values. These values are taught to you by your environment, culture, caregivers, friends and acquaintances. You could be blindly following values imprinted upon you by loved ones since childhood. This may not be healthy for you. Stereotypical values and prejudices are threatening and demeaning and won’t let you grow.

4. Put yourself 1st: Many times, as a parent, child or friend, you care more about other people. You forget to honour and pamper yourself. Learn to give yourself some credit for all the hard work you do.

5. Be in healthy relationships: Don’t be in any relationship if it is condescending or threatening to you. Abuse of any kind that doesn’t value you as a human being should not be tolerated. Learn to be in a relationship where there is no self- doubt or fear involved but each day adds to happiness. Choose to be around people who are supportive, empowering and those who give you the attention you need. Eventually that will make you feel great about your existence.

6. Take charge of life: Take your own decisions instead of relying on others for their approval. You will have to do this even if you end up taking a wrong decision. That is how you will feel self- reliant and enough.

7. Accept who you are: Last but very important step is to understand however you feel, act, behave, always remember - you are great! You don’t have to act in a way that gets you other people’s approval and acceptance. Stop doing things only to get people to like you. Stop comparing yourself and your worth with others. Love yourself unconditionally so that you attract only those people who are genuinely interested in being around you for who you are.

Your body and mind are like labourers. They will continue to work faithfully for you only if you learn to keep them happy. So, love yourself and stay happy!

About the Author

Purvi Shah
Counseling Psychology.

Purvi Shah is a Counselor with dual degrees in Psychology. She has been working in the field for about 9 years now. Besides working with adults and

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