What is the reality behind jealousy and how to address it?

What is the reality behind jealousy and how to address it?

How many of you have been in this kind of situation?

You felt jealous when you saw your best friend topped in the class.

You felt jealous when you saw your partner talking to someone belonging to the opposite sex.

You felt jealous because your colleague grabbed the opportunity, and you couldn't.

You felt jealous that your child couldn’t make it to a better educational institution, but your neighbor's child did it.

You felt jealous when someone’s earnings or income were much higher than you.

You felt jealous because he or she is more good looking and attractive.

You felt jealous because the other person is more popular than you are.

So you see, these are the numerous examples where we have come across or experienced jealousy in our day-to-day lives. We always end up comparing our life with that of others.

We all have been jealous in our lives at some point or the other. We sometimes realize, and sometimes we don't. And even if we had been jealous of somebody, it is not that a terrible crime until and unless it swallows us from within. Jealousy is nothing but an idea or a feeling of various emotions within us. People act in this way because they have definite insecurities, fear, or concern over a thing. But wretchedly, jealousy does affect our relationships with people or with things in our surroundings. An insecure person mostly lacks the quality of trust within himself. So he or she ends up being jealous of others or the things that are around. 

Often the most common of all types is the jealousy associated with a romantic relationship. The commonest of all problems we often hear is that your significant other has trust issues and always keeps track of your life by checking your phones or by keeping a tab on all your social media handles and other day-to-day activities. Initially, we take pleasure out of it by considering it as a gesture of love. But then realization dawns upon us. By the time realization hits us, our so-called relationship turns toxic. And there are various other forms of it too, such as workplace jealousy, the existence of animosity between siblings or family members, platonic and abnormal jealousy that shows fundamental signs of mental illness such as schizophrenia or paranoia that eventually leads to an imbalance in our brains.

How can you overcome jealousy?

Jealousy can take a severe toll upon our lives. It makes us a mentally negative person from within. We may not realize it, but it doesn't make us happy. At the same time, we constantly pressurize our brain to make us feel good from within when we are not feeling that great inside. Jealousy mainly originates from our own low self-esteem, or the tawdry behavior of unwanted people in our life, or our bitter past. So here are some ways we can use to defeat the demon called jealousy from within us: 

Pay attention to yourself and be open to acceptance: If you think that you are going through such feelings, then that is quite natural, and it is okay too. But if you see that it is otherwise and taking a different shape in your life and is invariably creeping into and staying with you every time then there is something wrong that needs to be checked out and corrected before it damages you severely from the inside. When we continually pay attention to others, we shift our focus from individuals to the general public.

And also, it is very significant for us to acknowledge that at the very core, you are suffering from jealousy. It is staying with you quite often now and then and building up its own habitat within. When you start to realize the issue, it creates room for more understanding and self-learning and teaches you how to battle the growing insecurities within you.

Create room for yourself: When a problem like jealousy triggers you, it is always better to build a small little space for yourself. Sometimes it is essential to leave the rest of the things and get hold of yourself by spending some time in solitude. When someone goes through some challenges in their life, being alone can be the next best alternative as it gives a whole lot of clarity on what is the exact thing you want for yourself. In a world full of associations, we go on to lose our own self.

If you aren't aware of the root cause of your troubles, then you need to. We become jealous by seeing other's welfare, and that is what is bothering us. So it is apparent that by looking into other people's business you won't be able to make your subject matter a highly effective one to deliberate or even focus upon with all the required attention. You cannot ignore such a bunch of people who cause those commotions in your mind, so it is you who has to take care of your own mental well-being. No one else is going to take your responsibility, and hence staying in solitude acts as the right medicine for such circumstances.

Arrange your life if it is in disorder: The external world is putting so much pressure that sometimes our inner self becomes wobbly and disoriented. We live with a certain quotient of stress at all times. The false notion that we have created for ourselves is that we look for and prioritize external gratification, rather than focusing upon our inner serenity. We make our life highly disorganized by battling with our inner selves. From there originates complaints and comparisons which we really cannot afford to.

In present times, we have designed our life in such a manner that even if we have a lot of things, we don't appreciate it. We constantly feel that the lives of others are well structured without even trying to know their hardships and struggles that they go through. This triggers into our minds the ills of jealousy, insecurity, worry, and anxiousness. So, if you do not attempt to clear up the mess, it will eventually crawl up to your brain and intensify those feelings.

Whip the bruise and create an opportunity for upliftment: If you have a deep wound, then embrace and challenge it for betterment rather than tickling that evil within you. Not always one has to act as tense if you are jealous. Sometimes it can help you in rising high in much better ways. What is more beneficial than this is that if you can create an opportunity for yourself to arise. Isn't that something best you can make out of your insecurities. Rather than giving a blow to that wildfire, you can just put water to it and stop the firestorm, thus preventing it from burning any further.

So you can best describe that if anyone from your usual circle exercising well in life, then instead of getting jealous and acting in exasperation, all you can do is to step out and do something better than that. Take charge of your life before you run out of time.


"Jealousy is mental cancer." ~ B.C Forbes. 

So, to summarize in the words of B.C Forbes, jealousy is nothing but a form of cancer of the mind. The lines have absolute truth hidden in it. Yes, jealousy can be cancerous if not curbed at the right time. If you don't take action, then it can spread and can cause severe damage to your self-pride and mental intellect.

We must stop looking at other's success, relationships, wealth, career, beauty, etc. We will remain in profit if we take care of what minimal we have and appreciate that which we possess. Therefore it will be sagacious to say that instead of getting carried away with the emotion of jealousy, we need to use it as a tool to boost our happiness to make things better and implanting this concept in our daily lives. This is the best possible skill we can acquire to smoothen our lives, by killing the monster within which is ‘JEALOUSY’.










About the Author

Rima Barua Chowdhury
working professional.

Hi, My name is Rima Barua Chowdhury. Apart from pursuing the course of my life, I have a bent towards writing. That is more related to psychologica

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