Vulnerability in Close relationships

Vulnerability in Close relationships

It is important to examine relationships because social relationships are a very significant part of human life. It’s a bidirectional relationship where both the person and the relationship keep on influencing one another in multiple ways. Therefore, closer relationships do have a very huge influence on the individual’s behaviors and way of conduct in life. We have for a very long time in history talked about the benefits that social relationships bring to us but often ignored how close relationships can put one at a sense of higher risk. Therefore, in every relationship we should be very sensitive as it can easily become a source of suffering. Hence a lot of people are always faced with the question of how much disclosure one should exercise or transact in any close relationship and this question takes up a very heavy toll. We must also remember that it doesn’t always need to be a very life changing event that makes us more vulnerable for example: death of a loved one. But, vulnerability can also manifest itself in day to day conflicts or even day to day happenings. Therefore, one way can be to document the insecurities and before documenting reflecting on them to first become aware of it. Once we are aware, we can finally start bringing acceptance and working on it on a conscious level. Sometimes, individuals try to project themselves as so strong in relationships that this whole thing of vulnerability backfires. Therefore, one should remember that when we shut off vulnerabilities from our life, we also shut ourselves from experiencing love and intimacy to a great extent. Vulnerability is needed to some degree in all relationships and without it; relationships do suffer as vulnerability deeply provides us with a sense of safety, security, closeness at an emotional and intimate level. Connecting in a way of sharing your vulnerability is a very brave thing to do as it makes us more vulnerable and feeling stronger at the same time.  This also brings us one way closer to embracing and accepting these vulnerabilities.

            Sometimes we also confuse ourselves heavily as to what does vulnerability mean and we feel it is sharing each and every details about a person but it is not. Vulnerability is also something we earn. Therefore, one should always have some sort of personal boundaries and protect oneself from being overexposed and hence making this entire process of sharing very complicated and filled with thoughts of confusion and chaos. Therefore, the whole idea of vulnerability should be detached from the conception of being “weak or coward”. Therefore, these connotations should be highly removed from so that human psyche can go on forming deeper relationships. This situation has become even more perplexed if we consider the interface of humans with technology. With the advent of technology, we have multiple and unending options of forming friendships and we also are more exposed to the relationships other people share. This then goes on to make us even more vulnerable.  What one should be more aware of is their own unique experience of experiencing vulnerability as there is no one particular way. 

Now, because so many of us are taught as to not be vulnerable we are always confused as to how should reach this. One way is to be very honest as to one feels and to be very clear about your needs and fears. Sometimes, we end up not sharing how we feel because we should work on the underlying emotion of fear of rejection that must be hindering our relationships. Since earlier times we have been taught to not reveal our hearts and some of us actual keep pretending as to we are someone else by wearing invisible masks very visible to us though but sometimes it can also happen at an unconscious level. One big lesson that vulnerability strives to teach all of us is feeling safe and secure with the idea of uncertainty that we all wish to avoid by trying to control our lives at every point of time in life so as to whenever we even lose an inch of that thread of control, we feel immensely vulnerable. Therefore, one should start journaling one’s experiences and stories as a bedrock to understand if at all there are some patterns to this feeling and try decode so as to form better connections.

About the Author

Harsha Baid
Student, Completed B.A Hons. Psychology, Pursuing M.A Psychology at Delhi University, North Campus.

My name is Harsha Baid. I am a first year master’s degree student in Psychology at Delhi University (DU). My experience of academically being

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