Psychology Of Sex

Animal’s desire to mate is governed by its biological rhythms, but it is really remarkable how humans can have sex at any given time by using the thought. Some porn video or some sexual thought can kick start a neural pursuit of pleasure. The brain and the autonomous nervous system sends the neural information to the genital apparatus eliciting arousal. The thought is the only tool, we have and a thought build up can create desire, arousal and finally a sexual release.

That is why in human’s thought play the most vital role in sex! It is the thought which says that holding hand of one’s partner is more desirable and stimulating than just being in a conversation. The thought tells that kissing is more stimulating and desirable than just holding the hand and so on and so forth!

Everyone has their own unique sexual proclivities and preferences about their sexual mate from skinny to voluptuous, hairy to clean- shaven, younger to older ones, within or without the wedlock, gentle to domineering. These sexual preferences and fetishes are the filters through which the sexual thought passes on its way to the limbic system. That is the reason, selective stimulus or selective thoughts create a build-up and subsequently, the arousal.

Many males who complain about ED(Erectile Dysfunction) are thus, those people, who have an interrupted sexual neural circuit due to either the thought of having sex with the partner is not potent enough to cause arousal or factors like anxiety or deficient sex hormones which are not letting the neural circuit to complete, is one of the other reasons.

Sex and Religion

It is very important to understand the basic functioning of the mind, the mind is hedonist in nature. It is forever looking for pleasure without pain. So it’s the ‘high’ to which one is essentially looking for.
It is already proven that there is not much difference in the pleasure gained by spiritual advancement, social work, food, professional achievement, entertainment, alcohol or sex!! The social framework has induced a concept of morality dissuading sex out of marriage to keep its status -quo and indeed it will be impractical [and not immoral] to encourage promiscuity as it is a threat to the very basic foundation of the society.

Sex is one of the most powerful urges and that is why controlling it essentially becomes the central theme of all the religions and guilt, hypocrisy and inner conflict is the by-product of the religious commandments.

If there were an apparatus to read one's thoughts, one would be shocked to infer that humans of all walks and all ages are pre-occupied with sex and are infidel mentally and they are haunted by sex. The obsession with sex is not only among the people who are pursuing it, but, more so with those who are denying, controlling or fighting against it.

The essential question here is that “who controls whom?” Who is having this burning desire of sex and who is saying that “it should not be there?”

All suppression techniques including religious practices or others only push the desire deeper, which either is transmuted to some other conflict or it remains submerged, always gnawing and poking from deep within.

It is essentially the same entity which is divided due to social moral conditioning and this would eat up the peace forever. As long as an individual mind or ‘I’ exist, so long the pleasure chase through thought would exist.

The one who has transcended sex, will never talk about it!

Sexual issues

The human psyche which is conditioned to confirm to the social norms about sex becomes infested with malady and struggle to fit into that framework. The “right and wrongs “, the do’s or don’ts and “normal and not normal” and other such disputes related to sex can create unrest and sexual issues.

It might create, Performance Anxiety that can lead to erectile dysfunction and the more you try hard to work on it, the worst it becomes. Guilt brings about various unpleasant emotions which become a challenge to be addressed.

The core problem with any pleasure pursuit including sex is that one needs to repeat that pleasure again and again and any hurdle in achieving it becomes the source of unhappiness!

The Sexual Orientation

Unfortunately, the non-heterosexual people (homosexuals, etc.) have to forever work on the inner conflict of not fitting to the societal norm. Recent studies have confirmed that sexual orientation has a strong genetic link. SLITKR6 and TSHR could be the two genes, any mutation in these genes causes an altered sexual orientation.

The acceptability of society and individual of the homosexual orientation is a key to end such disturbing inner conflict, the factors of which are totally linked to our double helix and not at all in any one’s control.

It is funny that sexual act lasts for a few minutes but yet it haunts us all the time Sex will remain as a problem as long as our obsession with it remains. Can it be left in its assigned space?

Beyond right and wrong, Can one continue singing one’s song?

Accepting one and one’s sensual pursuits, Even if as per them, it is a forbidden fruit. Can I be undivided, either left or right sided?

About the Author

Dr Vikas Khanna
Counselling Psychologist.

He has done M.S from Ramaiah Dental College. He has several years of experience as a Counsellor/ Psychologist and Hypnotherapist. He is a well know

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