Love Thyself (I am my own best friend)

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Love Thyself (I am my own best friend)

You must have very often heard the instruction in the flight before it takes off –In case of Emergency place the oxygen mask on you first then help others. This only will ensure proper help to others. How apt is this for our lives?

Must have very often heard the instruction in the flight before it takes off –In case of Emergency place the oxygen mask on you first then help others. This only will ensure proper help to others. How apt is this for our lives?

We need to love ourselves to love our job, our relationships, our environment, our world. This is the key to happiness and a contribution to you, family and society help others. This only will ensure proper help to others. How apt is this for our lives?

Must have very often heard the. You need to extend extra attention, care to yourself. Pamper yourself!

What is Love?

Love is an emotion, a feeling, a way of being itself. It is the smile on a child’s face, it is the spring, it is a fountain of happiness. Love is a facilitator of interpersonal relationships.   Love is accepting others with all their strengths and weaknesses and their glows and flaws. The importance of love is conveyed by following couplet of Kabir-

      पोथी पढ़ि पढ़ि जग मुआ, पंडित भया न कोय,
ढाई आखर प्रेम का, पढ़े सो पंडित होय।

The ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love we can experience:

Storage: natural affection
Philia: friendship
Eros: sexual and erotica
Agape: unconditional, divine love
Ludus: flirting
Pragma: committed, married love
Philautia: self-love

What is Self –Love?

Loving yourself means accepting yourself with all your capabilities and incompetence. You do not need to pretend or manipulate. You are not scared to tell who you really are. You share our emotions and your feelings – You are able to accept your mistakes.There is no need to prove anything to anyone because only you know your real worth. You don’t accept unfair treatment or social pressure and are able to say NO when the need be.

You don’t feel helpless, hopeless and/or not good enough. You never doubt the feelings of others whether for you or for someone else. There is no fear that their love will end.  You can fully accept and enjoy being loved by someone else. Your subconscious is not scared that your relationship will let you down. You are not afraid of feeling hurt or running away from pain.

You are calm and at peace with yourself. You express gratitude always.  You can channelize your energy into nurturing what you want, not projecting what you don’t want to lose. You feel light… free. LIFE COMES TO YOU WITH EASE JOY AND GLORY when you are in Self Love.

Why Self Love?

Self-Love has power and we don’t realize it until we start feeling it.Self-Love is the key to our happiness and success and this key is not ‘out there'. We think that the reason for our unhappiness is “out there,” and we go around searching for it in someone or something. 'Self-love is seeing oneself through God's eyes and nurturing like a mother nurtures her child'.We avoid looking within. We are scared of our inner self. We want to ignore our weaknesses, our sadness. We repress our agony and pain, thus enhancing our fears of accepting who we are.

We need self-love as it accepts us, uplifts us and is a powerful force of our life.
We need self-love to come out of our hollowness.
We need self-love to acknowledge what we think, feel and do.
We are capable of avoiding the impact of criticism and comparison.
We are no longer ruled by fear because we know that loving oneself is the strongest power of all.
We have the courage to face the failures.
Let us choose love over fear, and become fearless.
Let us allow ourselves to be humans, accepting our strengths and weaknesses and loving unconditionally.

Self-love has often been seen as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness. The Merriam-Webster dictionary later describes self-love as to "love of self" or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage". Synonyms of this concept are amour propre, conceit, conceitedness, egotism, and many more.

Impact of lack of self-love –

Almost all emotional problems indicate a lack of self-love. (Only a few very rare problems which are caused entirely by the physical disease can be excluded.)

Low Self-esteem is simply how you feel about yourself and how you judge your worth. This affects the choices you make, the image you have about yourself and what you consider yourself to be capable and worthy of doing.

Self-harm includes cutting or hurting oneself. This is due to sadness, anxiety shame guilt within. This happens due to lack of Self Love and leads to self-harm behavior. A negative way of releasing emotional pain. Physical pain is felt to be better than emotional pain, hence they feel courageous.

Techniques of Self-love –

This lack is to be filled with Self Love. This can be done by connecting to one's own self. By being one's own best friend. You paint, dance, sing, listen to music and find new coping techniques. LOVE THYSELF.

Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag or Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow or Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay or Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine) or Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans), do what makes you happy but in the correct manner.

Self-love Meditation -

Step 1: Play a piece of music, something which is soothing to you, something which you can relate to the feeling of calmness and peace. It has to be preferably an instrumental (Piano, Flute) tune and should be gentle.  The piece to which you are able to associate good feelings to. Music can be 5-7 minutes long.

Step 2: Make yourself comfortable. You may lean against the wall as you feel good or as seems comfortable to you. You may sit crossed legs or stretch your legs, whichever is naturally comfortable for you.

Step 3:  Put your headphones on and close your eyes with a smile on your face.

Step 4:  Imagine the universe above you, the galaxy, the stars, the  moon and the planets. Imagine the light coming from there to your head down to your body.  Take three deep breaths and then breathe slowly and naturally

Step 5: Focus on your breath as you breathe in and out. When you inhale say to yourself I love myself, when you exhale let go of whatever response is comes to your mind and body. It could be any thought, any feeling, any memory, some judgment or may be nothing at all. Whatever comes just exhale and let go from your body.

Inhale -  I love myself

Exhale- let go.

Music Flows, the mind wanders but that is natural.  Each time it wanders treat it like a child and call it back and focus on your breath and inhale I love myself, exhale I let out whatever is there in my mind and body. When the music ends open your hands and take 3 deep breaths. If you do it continuously for 21 days you will feel the difference in you and this music will also become an Anchor and you will notice the magic.

There is also a subconscious positive association with love light and music so this mediation will help relieve the magic.

Another very interesting thing you can do is to write a letter to yourself.

Dear ___________ (your name)

I promise to love you fully and completely and deeply in every way in all my thoughts in all actions in all my desires and my being I vow to always love yourself.

Sign :
Date:
Another technique that can help you love yourself-

Mirror Mirror on the Wall -

See yourself every day in the mirror and repeat – “I love and accept you as you are.” Do this for at least 5 minutes.

Concluding with a story of a King and a Saint. Once a King met a Saint and he said "I am a King, I have a big Kingdom but even then I am not happy.  How you are happy"?  Saint said, "I am happy because I am also a King". The King was surprised and asked the saint to which kingdom did he belong.  The saint calmly replied "I am the king of my own self because I love myself so my Kingdom is self-love and I am very happy within it". Self love is the key to happiness and well being.

Love Thyself, Be your own best friend and lead an empowered enlightened life.

 

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Psychologs

India's First Psychology Magazine 

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