How to prevent a relationship from getting Toxic

Humans are social beings by nature and therefore “relationships” for them become pertinent. It is not only essential to make a relationship but it is vital to keep them smooth and sustaining. Relationships can give the utmost happiness and it can be also one of the major reasons of stress. To make a relationship soothing and nontoxic, there are some crucial factors which needs to be paid attention to.

How much do we accept our partner exactly the way they are? Sometimes, any of the partner is bound to have behaviours, habits, personality types that may not be very easy to tolerate. But let us understand that individual differences exist. If we go by the law of being unique, then it will be comparatively easier for the partners to accept each other as he or she is. This, enabling the person to remain as they are is a huge “stress buster” and will lead to lesser conflicts.

So, Acceptance is a key to healthy relationship. If we accept a person the way he or she is then we will never try to change the person. Most relationships die an early death because we want to change our partner. It is important to note here that when we start a relationship, it is because of our liking or falling for the way the person is. But soon after we start changing the very being of the person, this starts suffocating the relationship and it gets toxic.

The second most important aspect is Respect. Most relationship ends on a sour note because partners slowly stop respecting each other and such a relationship can never last long. They start taking each other for granted and the basic respect which is vital for the survival of any relationship is soon found to be missing.

“Two people can only live as one when each is prepared to give and receive trust and understanding. Above that lies respect.” Helen Hollick

Trust is one of the other major requirements for a long lasting relationship. Trust is the “Lifeline” of any relationship and if it is broken, then the relationship is sure to die.

Honesty is another vital aspect of a healthy and long relationship. Honesty builds trust. But are we able to keep up to this honesty. If we are brutally honest then it may equally leads to hurt in relationship. For e.g. Even if you are not in a mood for a certain outing, you still go out without confessing that it is really not enjoyable for you. Then how honest should one be in a relationship?

Discretion. Being mindful and using good judgement about what to reveal and what not, will keep the relationship healthy and going. Honesty towards loyalty is crucial.

Another factor is Empathy. Many sources define empathy as a person’s ability to step into their partner’s shoes and experience their partner’s experience as their own, therefore coming up with a better understanding of their feelings. Hence, progressing toward a stronger bond and better interactions.

Communication is the “heartbeat” of a relationship. If this beating stops or fluctuates, then the relationship will die a natural death. Communication needs to have good clarity to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger, resentment or confusion. While communicating, we can say a lot without speaking. Our body posture, tone of voice and the expressions on our face all convey a message. These non-verbal gestures of communication can tell the other person how we feel about them. Therefore what we communicate verbally should be in congruence to our nonverbal gestures. It is essential to listen to your partner and it is not always important to win in a conversation.

Accepting the opinions and views of your partner will strengthen the bond of relationship. Relationship can be averted from becoming toxic if we care to follow these basic fundamentals.

About the Author

Dr Pinky Goswami
Academic Professional & Psychologist.

Dr Pinky Goswami holds a PhD in of Behavioural Psychology. She is a practising Psychologist and Corporate trainer with an experience of 23+ years.<

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