How Stress Spoils Personal Relationships
When we are in a healthy relationship with an individual we constantly show up for one another, we feel a sense of comfortable around each other. We share and accept each and everything between both, be it any accomplishment, or any life stressors. And when at times in case any of the two goes wrong, we sincerely apologize and pledge not to repeat that thing again. By being a good listener, forgetting the past and living in the present while sharing similar values and common goals are the signs of a healthy relationship.
While being in an unhealthy relationship one of the partner experiences the dominance of others, face the constant fear and feel insecure. Your partner keeps on providing you with the mixed signals, which makes you often feel confused at times to think whether you’re actually with the correct person, even at times you start doubting your worth, and blame your ownself saying "this is what you deserve". The person at times may also physically, mentally and emotionally abuse you, while pressurizing you for the things you’re not interested in, and when it comes to the realization of their own mistakes, they step back and becomes avoidant as if nothing ever happened, or they were absolutely correct.
Such unhealthy relationship often leads to significant distress in interpersonal relationsips leading to different mental and physical health problems like depression, anxiety disorders, sexual dysfunction (changes in libido), insomnia, acne, obesity, heart disease, diabetes etc. Research on social exclusion shows that the pain of loneliness and social rejection is processed by the same area of the brain that processes physical pain, which explains why feeling rejected by a loved one can actually be physically painful.
Though we just can't change the situation we're living in but we can definitely adapt some ways which could help you to deal with the stress which could be implemented by your own self by changing the lifestyle or with the help of experts (Familt therapists/counsellors).
First is the effective communication, which is one of the most important factor that plays a significant role in dealing with conflicts/stress and if you’re unable to do that by your own, then you can seek out for professional couple counselors, family therapist or personal psychotherapy. Effective communication is basically exchanging/conveying meaninful converstaion with other partner, making it sure that the other person is getting exactly what we are menat to say/ reflect. Sometimes it happens that we are on extreme emotion like angry, than while having a talk with other make give a negative outlook to the whole conversation. So, it's alaways important to keep a check onto that.
The second major area to look upon is getting in touch with each other, like maintaining eye contact while talking with each other, holding each other hands, and forget not to underestimate the power of hugs. A touch can make, break or even repair a relation It is an important factor when it comes out for expressing out the feeling for other from formal to intimitate. Also before getting close, it's always better to asl for the prefrence and comfortable zone of the person, stepping beyond could even ruin out everything.
Thirdly, do a Lil extra on days when you feel one of the partner is stressed out from household/work activities, or is not well by being the helping hand in household chores. Helping doesn't makes you less or small, even when it comes to helping out in kitchen/doing dishes/cleaning house etc. Gett beyond your personal routine of work and step out into partner's work when needed.
Fourth Say thank you and show your love every day, to make each other feel the importance/value the person holds in your life. The words could have have a really incredible impact when it is the need of the hour, or comes out of others expectation. "Thank You' are not just only simple words but it can create feelings of being important among the person who is hearing it.
Fifth Remember saying sorry doesn’t make you any less, but it shows how much you care for that person above all the ego. Saying sorry restores the person dignity, puts up a bandage over the hurt and makes them feel better. It helps out in restoring the trust, understanding, making other person feel safe around, while strengthening up the bond, and making out a even more stronger emotional connection.
Sixth, Recollect how you conquered over past challenges together, can help you two bounce back from your current stressors, too. Remeber the past challenges, relating the older schemas that was been used, whether they can be assimilated or accomodated with respect to current situation.
Seventh try doing new adventurous things together, Researches have showed that doing new (and fun) things with your partner enhances relationship satisfaction and increases the quality and longevity of relationships. Even if not doing anything but being there for for each other while dealing with new situations helps. Geeting out of your home together even if that's for grocery shopping, gives you an extra space and time to get to know other person beyong those four walls.
Other methods like mindfulness, aromatherapy, laughter as a therapy, music therapy, and self-hypnosis can also help to deal with the stressors.
Human beings are hardwired to seek out social interaction, but relationships should be enjoyable a large portion of the time. Relationships that are not, should be carefully evaluated to find the problem so steps can be taken to correct it for the sake of everyone involved in the relationship. The decision shouldn't be made in anger, or hatred, but should be a conclusion that seems right even when things are not falling apart. A calm decision to part ways with someone is less likely to lead to feelings of regret later.