Emotional Intelligence: Improve the Quality of Daily Life
The term Emotional Intelligence which was initially was coined by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer refers “to a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thoughts and actions”. Later it was made popular by Daniel Goleman by publishing ‘The New York Times Best Seller’, "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ". In his book, he argued that IQ isn't everything and gave equal importance to EQ or Emotional Quotient, better known as Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence involves the ability to detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artefacts. It includes the ability to know one's strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and goals which leads to better decisions making in life. It is the ability to handle emotions, to achieve something because of understanding of one's own enthusiasm or interest, to recognize and consider emotions in others while making decisions, to manage relationships in the desired direction. Emotional Intelligence creates an appropriate balance between head and heart altogether.
The spectrum of emotions is very vast and it is important to identify the correct emotion. For example, pleasure can be in the form of amazement, contentment, satisfaction, harmony or success. Similarly, sadness can be in the form of hurt, wounded, denied, let down or broken. Individuals should be competent enough to identify these emotions and apply reasoning or problem-solving techniques in times of trouble.
Emotionally intelligent people can harness negative emotions too and manage them accordingly to achieve intended goals. Once emotions are identified, they are well harnessed to facilitate various cognitive activities such as thinking and problem-solving. It leads to popularity, effective leadership and interpersonal excellence. Goleman goes to the extent of saying that it is not cognitive intelligence that guarantees business success but emotional intelligence.
Emotionally self-aware people are better at recognizing, naming their emotions and comprehending the cause of their feelings. This insight improves their lifestyle as people they can manage their relationships in a better way. Not only problems or goals, but even relationships can also be managed by being emotionally intelligent. It is obvious that individuals who are aware of their own as well as others emotions can develop and sustain healthy relationships. They are very good listeners and are aware of the disclosure( i.e. they know when it is safe to talk about their private feelings and when it’s not). Also, they are very cooperative in groups as they know how and when to lead as well as how and when to follow.
As they know how to manage their own emotions, resolve the conflicts and negotiate disagreements they are generally more flexible in nature which leads to less frustration, aggression, disputes or arguments. Moreover, due to this, they are less likely to report symptoms of depression, anxiety. People who excel in these skills do not find any difficulty when interacting with others for achieving personal and professional goals through a healthy interaction with other people. They are more confident about their decisions, and also quite persistent in their commitments. So as a result, they do not blame others for loss and never play the role of the victim in any relationship just for the sake of receiving sympathy.
Higher EQ makes people self-reliant, free from emotional dependency, empathetic and assertive enough. But above all, they are more sensitive in their approach and understand the consequences of their behaviour because their high emotional quotient allows them to communicate, persuade, influence others in a rightful way without being rude and helps them to understand, perceive, accept and understand the perspective of others. Therefore, they have realistic expectations for themselves as well as from others.
Overall, Emotionally intelligent people are more adaptable, friendly, responsible, outgoing, pro-social, considerate, harmonious, adjustable in groups/new circumstance and can handle transitions in a better way. Such individuals tend to be more popular and outgoing amongst their friends. They are found to be more optimist with a positive outlook and achieve greater psychological well-being, that’s why they have a higher level of life satisfaction and self-esteem. Higher emotional quotient makes them happy and content with themselves, others and life. Because of their ability to recognize their own strengths and weaknesses, they are fully acceptable for themselves the way they are.
It is also observable that individuals with high emotional intellect are not likely to be involved with drug abuse, anti-social behaviour or delinquency don’t deviate from the society that’s why it helps them in maintaining a healthier lifestyle. They also do not face withdrawal issues or sadness very easily and live a balanced life.
Highly emotionally intelligent people perform better at the job and avoid stressful work environment in order to achieve personal goals and actualize their own potential. Their ability to make pragmatic decisions drive them to achieve personal goals. As a result, they are seen to be more task-oriented. There are numbers of studies available which supports the argument that emotional quotient is an essential tool for success. It is also supported by various studies that the role of EQ in success is higher than IQ.
Emotional competencies are not just innate talents but are learned capabilities as well. It is also noteworthy that promoting social and emotional learning, since the young age, has a positive impact on the emotional intelligence of an individual. It can be developed, regulated and increased throughout life in order to achieve success especially in the areas where intelligence in itself is not enough.
Aristotle rightly said, "Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy". So, apart from focusing on IQ, we should also focus on our EQ for enhancing the quality of the life we live.