What are the basics of a relationship?

What are the basics of a relationship?

When you hear the word relationship, there can be many things that can come in your mind and at the same time it is not always the case that everyone will think about it in a similar manner. As humans we need someone to be there for us with whom we have a special bond and connection. When we talk about a relationship, it is just not about a male and a female there are other significant relationships as well like familial ones and relationships with friends. It is one of the basic human tendencies to be connected with people and have few people to be there and support. We always try to or want to be a part of a relationship. We all have our distinct ways of perceiving it and managing it. It is something that is not even taught but comes naturally by observing and learning from experiences. Observation learning here has been playing an important role in making individuals understand that how to go about it. What next then? How do we improve ourselves in a relationship? What can be few things that everyone has to follow while being in a relationship? How can people be together and make the most out of their time. Certainly it is not always a situation when individuals evaluate and think about how they will be taking their relationship; it just starts with them being together. Let us see and try to understand what it is exactly, when we talk about the basics of a relationship.

When people come together, there is a certain level of attraction and they like enjoying each other’s company. For them it can be that they might have got some sort of acceptance from the other person. Acceptance is what plays a major role on the initial stages while the relationship is being formed. As humans, there is a constant need for acceptance and especially by ones who love us or are there for us. If acceptance is there then it generates a sense of positivity and it is something that is not easy to get. Each one of us is unique and it is also possible that other would want us to change few things about us but we don’t want to do that. When in such situation, a level of acceptance is shown then it is motivation at the same time it boosts the self-esteem of the person. When acceptance is established, it brings in a trust among two people. Trust has been one of the things which probably takes the most amount of time. It takes so much thinking and evaluation at first and one also have to be constantly critical about it, because if trust is not present then there is no point of a particular relationship. The more time it takes in forming, it is easier than that to break it. It can be hard to do that but when it is there, things appear to be less difficult with the other person and you are not haunted by negative or doubting thoughts. You already know the importance it has in a relationship. As human beings, when we feel attached to someone at a mental as well as physical level then we might feel insecure about few things and some aspects, but if trust is there then these thoughts are automatically vanished and one does not have to constantly feel bad about it. Acceptance and trust can be seen as interconnected as a minimal level of acceptance gives us an indication that the person can be trusted. These things might take time but they should never be compromised. Communication is another aspects of the basics. Communication is not just simple talking and this is what people don’t usually think about. They feel that they are interacting and talking to each other so that’s it, they are sorted and the communication box is ticked. It is partially correct because this is how we communicate on daily basis and this type of interaction is what our communication is with other people. When it is about communication in a relationship it goes beyond talking to each other. It is more about understanding each other and letting each other know about the things that are bothering them or anything that they would like to talk to each other about. It also involves active listening as a part of communication, because being able to understand what the other person is going through and experiencing is also important. It allows individual to be open about their emotions and feelings regarding so many things. It gives 2 people a chance to discuss about things and it keeps them at peace mentally and emotionally. It is an essential aspect and it should be understood. Next thing that comes under the umbrella of basics is space. Not everyone consider it to be an aspect and also some people think that it can never be about space when 2 people are in a relationship. It has been a rooted understanding that when people are in relationship they have to be in each other’s boundaries all the time and it is compulsory for them to always share things. Space can have subjective interpretations and people can apply it differently in their lives. Space in most basic sense can be understood as giving each other an opportunity to be themselves and not always interrupting or trying to be a part of. It can be complex to understand it at first but when people identify it then it becomes easier to not feel bad about it. Sometimes it can be a situation where you might need some alone time and that at the same time it does not mean that the person is not loving you and so, but at that time it might be that the person just needs some space to clear whatever that he or she might be going through or thinking about.

There are more things that one can think about and they equally need attention because there can be the grounds of attraction or understanding but then there are pillars that are constructed on the basis of that ground. We all have our different needs, wants from a relationship. Sometimes we don’t even realize that what is a relationship for us, we just want to be in one. It clearly states that one never thought about it and just wanted to conform. One of the most debated things can be the need to adjust. What does it actually mean? Again it can have subjective meanings but it is definitely not leaving or doing something that costs us our mental wellbeing and proper functioning. This is something that can create misunderstanding and misconceptions about each other. As a fact it is understood that each and every individual is unique. There will be a difference in thoughts, likes, dislikes and choices so at that time it is important to understand and acknowledge those differences instead of trying to impose those differences on one another. That will create unnecessary disturbances. It is important for humans to identify the need of a relation and then to see what kind of a person they want in their life. Most importantly one should be clear about it and should be ready to take this step of being in relationship.

About the Author

fariyal asad
Student.

Hi! I am a graduate psychology student. I've completed my graduation from Ambedkar University Delhi. I am a psychology en

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