Why do we rely on online apps to seek love?

Why do we rely on online apps to seek love?

It is not a new trend that has established. There has been a considerable amount of time and experiences. Virtual world has opened so many new doors that have been taking humans to different roads of experiences and perceptions. Online dating is one of the aspects which includes booming when we talk about some fascinating aspect of digital world. There has been a drastic shift in ways of identifying someone. Mind sets have been evolving with changing time and new approaches have been adopted by humans to make their lives better and efficient. Finding a special person for you has not become an easy task rather one of the most difficult thing. Necessities of life has led humans to use resources in the best possible ways and then adding a dash off human intelligence to take it to another level has also become common these days as most of the things are being done by keeping in minds few aspects that govern our lives. Efficiency and effectiveness is what we want from almost everything to make it simple for us and to have a process that is going to be according to our choices and demands. Online dating is one of them.

When we talk about online dating it can be seen as being broadly divided into 2 major chunks. One is the actual online dating that is through apps and starts from being behind the screens. The other one can be said to be for those who live in different places and meeting each other is not possible all the time.  It is usually considered to be happening in long distance relationships when gadgets and digital world acts as saviours. It can be a journey that can be full of emotions and different experiences. Not everyone have a similar understanding of these platforms and for that matter any idea about these platforms. Even though it weighs the fact that an individual’s personality and attitude can be on the top of the list when comes to feeling attracted towards someone. You must have heard about beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, that is what online dating could be operating on. It opens up to a different kind of experiences altogether. Knowing or unknowingly we can come across aspects which we never thought might have been there. It is a procedure that makes you open up in a situation where most of the time you have no idea about a person or what he or she might be like. Online dating is a system that involves a huge part of your cognition and your cognitive abilities. Meeting someone face to face and meeting someone virtually can make you form 2 different perceptions about a person. Individual differences are always there and they should be always appreciated and because of those differences we get to encounter multiple phenomenon. What are the instincts on which these platforms operate? It is fact that we do need someone to be there in our lives with which we can feel connected and share love and a relationship. Online dating exposes you to a realm which holds the potential of influencing your perception of love and human beings in general. Love is a necessity, we all need it in different forms but when it is about going out in a way that is slightly different then it is important for you to introspect and try to evaluate that need that has brought you to this point. Online dating platforms expose you with a lot of data about others and at the same time you have to present tour side. It can be a bit obvious that like any other digital platform, people always present their bright side and even you do that as well. All it takes is a few swipes to stumble upon a profile that you might like or the other way around. This procedure can be a bit superficial as it makes you believe in something that that might not be true. Even the way in which you project yourself can have an impact on how you understand yourself.  There is a large population that uses online dating apps and they have lot of options available more than one would have got in real life. Sometimes too much of things can be the cause of questioning yourself. You have the freedom to reject and accept, but it forms completely different experiences online and offline.

As one might not feel good enough after being rejected by too many people. That can be a massive cause of rooting insecurities about the idea of self and the perception about ones capabilities to love and being loved. Also these platforms are designed in a way that first targets a person appearance wise and then it creates an atmosphere of connections that are first not emotional and based on few pictures and a description of that person. These connections can work for some and at the same time give shockers to others. Ghosting, benching, bread crumbing and submarining, these are some description of behaviours that are highly damaging yet they are being normalized on these apps. Being dominantly based on looks these apps make people validates themselves on the basis of the other person’s choice. When someone looks for validation in a journey of finding a partner then it’s just not about the looks rather it goes deeper than that and can ultimately make you question about the ways in which you want to be loved. Other than this there is another question with regards to these online dating apps that whether they are addictive? Looking at their nature, they do have some characteristics that might make them addictive because there is a repetitive activity of swiping, looking at the photos of other people and reading about them. It can be soothing in the case of anxiety and then there is a dopamine hit when you find what you have been searching and that’s a match! These extra behaviors that generate as a side effect of these online dating apps do shape the way in which other people are perceived in real life. It might be a possibility that at a particular point of time a relationship is not what you want but just the presence of these apps might make you think that you do need one and as a result of which you might get caught into something that hits you emotionally and mentally. When one is trying to be in relationship, he or she might also discover few things about themselves which they were unaware of, now that circumstances through which they understand those things might make them question about the general nature of love and relationships. There is no universal purpose of joining these apps. Not everyone is driven by the need for establishing a bond and for that matter love.
It can be left in your hands to decide what suits best for you. Even when it is about using these apps one has to be careful about various things as a minor step can impact you majorly. Concerns can go in different directions but it is important to have the required information about authenticity and quality of such platforms. You also need to be actively questioning yourself about the need for love and relationship in your life. Exposing yourself to a platform does make you think about yourself and your needs. It is important to engage in critical thinking and rational decision making. There can be varying opportunities but your requirements should be prioritized, more specifically at a psychological level. Just having a sense that you are going in a direction that can negatively impact your ideas about love should be thought about. When it is about love and relationship, there can be a subjective interpretation as these concepts are abstract in nature. At the same time it is important for you to have your own meaning that is derived from experiences that are uplifting in nature and not discouraging in any sense. The means which you are finding it is important as through it the other person is presented and at the same time you are putting yourself out there. Just be aware about all the possibilities and negatives to have a better experience about these things as each and every emotion is important.

About the Author

fariyal asad
Student.

Hi! I am a graduate psychology student. I've completed my graduation from Ambedkar University Delhi. I am a psychology en

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2 Comments

  • Everything was explained so beautifully... I really enjoyed your article!!! Cheers🍻

  • Brilliantly written!!! 💯💯

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